Enchanted Girl Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 I need you guys to be my bull**** detectors. My boyfriend is a nice guy and there has been several situations where he's behaved like he was flirting with a woman. It's not just me that has seen it, other people point it out as well. He claims that he's just being nice and that he has no idea that he's flirting. He says that he doesn't even know how to flirt and would mess it up if he tried. He also told me a story about this girl named Amber that he was friends with that he had no interest in and everyone, all the time, would accuse them of being romantically involved with one another. And some of the flirtation involves hugging and mild touching or whatever of other women. Is this really possible? A man just being friendly and having no idea that he is flirting? Or is he full of crap?
Rinas Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 Most people are aware of their actions. If you feel he is overly friendly, ask him to tone it down. I certainly know when I'm flirty with someone, it shouldn't be used as an excuse for either gender. Unless he is a flirty person in general, then you should talk to him about your concerns.
Queen Zenobia Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 You have to look at this within the context of the rest of your relationship. I have known several people, both male and female who could unknowingly and unwittingly flirt with the opposite sex. Perhaps not coincidentally these were the same people who could also not tell when someone was flirting with them. In any occasion if everything else is ok with your relationship then I'm fairly sure he's just not completely aware of himself. It does happen.
Rinas Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 Some people are more friendly than others, which comes off as flirty. Could this be it with him? If you feel he isn't flirting on purpose, then just have a talk with him.
Author Enchanted Girl Posted June 29, 2011 Author Posted June 29, 2011 Some people are more friendly than others, which comes off as flirty. Could this be it with him? If you feel he isn't flirting on purpose, then just have a talk with him. Well, I am friendly as well, but I don't touch people. Guys certainly have never thrown water on me. They don't hug me and they don't tickle or touch me, but I've seen him do all these things to other girls. Our relationship other than this is going good, by the way.
Kamille Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 I happen to know it's possible. My boyfriend recently told me he feels I flirt a lot. I have no idea what he's talking about. In my book, I'm not flirting, I'm just being friendly. The most I do is smile and take an interest in the conversation. Fortunately, bf doesn't seem to be bothered by it. Edited to add: I hadn't seen your last post. I definitely don't touch or tickle. That, to me, would be crossing a line.
Feelin Frisky Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 I guess it's possible to be ignorant about anything. I certainly know when I intend a flirtatious remark or gesture and would never do it in the company of an SO. But that's me.
Queen Zenobia Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 Well, I am friendly as well, but I don't touch people. Guys certainly have never thrown water on me. They don't hug me and they don't tickle or touch me, but I've seen him do all these things to other girls. Our relationship other than this is going good, by the way. The hugging can go either way and is sort of subjective depending on how you feel about it, but the rest sounds like he's unaware of himself and the fact that he needs to tone it down. I'd just talk to him tell him how you feel then see where it goes (which it sounded like you already did). It is certainly possible for some people to be more touchy than others, although even if you didn't think it was flirting it would certainly strike me as inappropriate.
alphamale Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 Is this really possible? A man just being friendly and having no idea that he is flirting? Or is he full of crap? no he's not full of crap...most people flirt unconciously when they see someone attractive. its human nature. you have very little control in these matters because the body automatically gives itself away...
oaks Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 And some of the flirtation involves hugging and mild touching or whatever of other women. Is this really possible? A man just being friendly and having no idea that he is flirting? Or is he full of crap? I don't know all of what he's doing, but sometime I hug people or touch them on the arm or shoulder even when I'm not trying to date them. Hugs can be friendly gestures!
Author Enchanted Girl Posted June 29, 2011 Author Posted June 29, 2011 Yea, this is why I needed to hear your guys' responses. Because I am emotionally involved to the situation and also, I'm very aware of social interactions and what they mean, much moreso than other people, so in person, I tend to be extreme precise in my speech and be unsurprised by people's reactions to everything I say. So I can't know whether or not to believe what he says unbiasedly.
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