Hobo99 Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 Hey guys, Im a 32 year old - Guy from UK. So here is my story... I met a girl 6 years ago, on a night out, I was dealing with yet another break up with my Girlfriend Claire at the time (she would break up on off for 5 years after that!!). So back to the story - I am drinking away at the bar, when this girl Lucy caught my eye, we ended up talking, coming together, and we had a great night together - she ended up staying over..... The nxt day she walked out, I never saw her for some time again. and I ended up continuing with Claire for years after, in what was really a terrible relationship!.... I see Lucy A few times over the years now and then - but she would walk away.... So to 2011 FEB- I see Lucy out on a night out - I make some conversation with her we end up talking and having a good laugh together. - we end up going out on a few dates, have a great time together, and had a great time until the end of May - my employers they want me to do a year in america, MIAMI! - I think long and hard, and think i need to take this.... for life experience, and for my career....however I do think about what i have with Lucy....(if it was further down the line i would have rejected) I break it to her - that I leave in end of July, but said I will be back next summer, and really like her, and want to see where we go - she says "she cannot believe it, wait for years to get together - and now I am leaving".... We continue to date She calls me in early june, says she cannot see me anymore - as there is no point, I manage to convince her, we have another few weeks together, words such as she is missed me this week, and other small things, are returned....its getting better everytime we see each other...... She asks me to meet her friends, I kind of felt awkward - as didn't see the point, 1 week later, I ask her to a wedding, she feels the same due to its a bit early and if I am going away - then will there be any point... her words! We share a lovely meal last thursday and night together - She calls Friday, normal chatty self, then Sat we agree to meet, she texts "I have been thinking its not working with us, I think you want more, and i thought it was casual - Ill call you later today". ( to be fair, after a few drinks, I would say that we could make the LDR work on the thurs) Naturally I act calm, half expect it as im going away - i reply ", I was just trying to involve you - (as i knew she was referring to request to accompany me to a wedding)- i thought you were happy, and we were having a blast together, and it was mutual". She then replies - "it was mutual, but the invite to wedding, and now you asked me to meet people before you leave is a bit much - im going to busy with my own weddings in late july/aug, and you are going away, you are a great guy Craig".... I reply "ok but I was only trying to involve you that was all, if I wanted more I would be staying. i think you are over thinking this here?" she never replied... I have thought about this all week, you know what folks I really like this girl, and wonder if career is important - when there is the potential here? its maybe to early, but they way we are together, I find it a bit wierd for her to say its not working!!?..... I left it for a few days, and txtd her " would it be to call you if you are not busy?" , she said she was in meetings, and told me about her weekend.... (almost skirting the questions) So what do I do??? I know I am going away, but should I put forward to ask her to be patient? or to keep in contact? or is this a total blow off, and i will be making a fool contacting her?? I just find it hard one night, she is saying we could make it work, and she was equally trying to involve me, as much as I was her....... so I dont buy that excuse..... I guess I am asking - How do i play this??? we were getting on good, and had a connection...... Damn timing..... Craig
midkirby Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 You are going away to another country for a year for a great career opportunity that you might not ever have the chance on doing again. You like her...but it is the beginning stages of a relationship. If you turn down the job offer and stay...things might not work out between you two and you will always regret it. It is not fair to ask her to be patient for a year. Let her go. When you return, you can always contact her to date again, but she deserves the chance to find someone else while you are gone. Good luck
Mack05 Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 If it were me I would just accept the timing is bad and then look forward to this -> What is meant for you won't pass you by. Enjoy Miami mate!
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 sit down and talk to her, I think the two of you lack in communication skills so have a one on one sit down with her, express your feelings towards her, express your feelings towards your career opportunity, tell her that you want to work through this, and also listen to what she has to say. You want to really listen to what she has to say, feel her feelings, and don't go into this conversation with the mindset that you need to "fix" something. after you get all the emotions laid out on the table then you can both share ways of "working it out".
Author Hobo99 Posted June 29, 2011 Author Posted June 29, 2011 I agree, but girls like this do not come along, and she was always someone i thought of now and then, and it seems she is goign to be the one that got away...... AGAIN!!
wilsonx Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 have you read the crazy stories posted all over these forums about the crazy bitches that we want to go away. Man go to Miami and have fun. You always come first.
Mack05 Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 (edited) I guess you need to accept your the littlest Hobo -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=banXT6azA-4... :-) Sorry bad joke...Seriously this is tough. Every person in their lives eventually has to make a choice like this. I had mine when I was 25 and I made the wrong choice. For me it was between staying in Australia (appartment by the beach, great money, loads of mates there) or going back to Europe to try again with an ex. I decided to try again with my ex and come home. For ALOT of different reasons this was the wrong choice and it seems I have been paying for it ever since. The truth is you won't know for a few years if you made the right choice or not. I know it's early days but maybe she could go with you. I mean it's Miami..Sometimes new couples can do crazy things and it works out. Life is short, we only have one shot at it. If I met a girl I had a connection with and she asked me Miami, I would drop everything and go because sometimes you just got to take a chance.. It's a tough one... Edited June 29, 2011 by Mack05
Author Hobo99 Posted June 29, 2011 Author Posted June 29, 2011 you are right, its just bad cant even talk, and she isnt the best communicator through txt, short brief messages, even when she is happy, i might call her next week - but your right ! miamiamai ami!
Author Hobo99 Posted June 30, 2011 Author Posted June 30, 2011 Just an update, I dropped her a txt, as her phone was going to voicemail. Explained that I just wanted to involve her in things, and obviusly the less time we had together, more I wanted to do.....Said I had a great time with her, and would like to keep in contact as we never had one bad moment, and only good times together - and if she needed me, I would be there for her.....even if afar. Thats all I can do I guess?? thanks to everyone who has replied.... timing sucks huh!?!!? all part of life...
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