ShoeGurl1973 Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 Im going on 3 months of NC now...I still find myself full of anger. And i mean FULL! One of my bestfriends is having his 40th birthday party this week and I knew my ex would be there so I scheduled a girls trip to New Orleans so it wouldn't look like I was outright avoiding just for the sake of not seeing the ex. I feel really bad but I know that I am not ready at all to be in my ex's presence. I really think that if I saw him I'd gouge his eyes out with a fork or throw a glass of wine on him. Seriously, I'm that bitter and angry. It's not even the break up itself, but the way he did it. We talked about getting married and rings and then 48 hours he came up with stupid petty reasons to break up out of no where. My favorite being "I feel pressured when you ask me what time I'm coming home so you can have dinner ready". WTF? For 3 1/2 years I've asked him what time he will be home from work so I know when to HAVE HIS NICE WARM DINNER READY TO EAT! If he says 6 fine, if its 8 fine too. I just wanted to know when to start cooking! Seriously....?? Then once he broke up i said fine, get your stuff out of my house and that all of a sudden made him very angry. He said a whole slew of nasty insulting things to me: You are a loser for never being married by 37You'll be in your house alone foreverI only went out with you because I was lonelyYou need a hobby (his stellar hobby choice is Call of Duty at 35)He broke up with me - why insult me like Im the one doing something wrong? It was all so hurtful! I had no idea where this hate was coming from after talking about children and marriage and just two weeks before he came home one night and told me how I was the best girlfriend ever. Seriously, he had to wake me up to tell me this! Anyway, when does the anger go away. Right now I seriosuly contemplate slitting tires, or doing evil thigns. It's a good thing I have restraint.
wilsonx Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 He said all those mean things to you to bring you down to his level and rip you apart inside. Its from a lack of maturity. He's guilty about something and is trying to make you feel worse then he is. My ex said the same things to me and you know what, if i still was an alpha male at the end of our relationship, she would have been long gone before that. When I have broken up with ex's in the past, its usually Im sorry but this isnt working out for either of us, time to move on and thats it. No silly immature bull**** that our ex's did that make us cringe inside
Author ShoeGurl1973 Posted June 29, 2011 Author Posted June 29, 2011 Deep down I know that's why he said the mean things, but it still hurts. The whole time I was thinking of things to say in reply - equally as mean thing, but I couldn't. No matter how hurt I was, I loved this person for 3.5 years and I couldn't bring myself to stoop to the level of insulting him. And I know that one day he'll feel really guilty (he already tried to apologize but I told him never to contact me again) and he'll remember that even through his insults, I said nothing to him. It just really sucks to have a long relationship that I can't even look back on fondly. I wonder if it was all a lie and I question everything now.
andyg99 Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 It was all so hurtful! I had no idea where this hate was coming from after talking about children and marriage and just two weeks before he came home one night and told me how I was the best girlfriend ever. Seriously, he had to wake me up to tell me this! . it's painful when good memories are so recent... just 2 weeks ago we had the best time at the movies, laughing and just having a great night... today I told her to move out (she has her eyes elsewhere)... damn it really hurts...
wilsonx Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 Deep down I know that's why he said the mean things, but it still hurts. The whole time I was thinking of things to say in reply - equally as mean thing, but I couldn't. No matter how hurt I was, I loved this person for 3.5 years and I couldn't bring myself to stoop to the level of insulting him. And I know that one day he'll feel really guilty (he already tried to apologize but I told him never to contact me again) and he'll remember that even through his insults, I said nothing to him. It just really sucks to have a long relationship that I can't even look back on fondly. I wonder if it was all a lie and I question everything now. Good for you that you did not insult him... shows that you are the bigger person. By the time you have moved on and are indifferent about him guess who will be calling and apologizing and wanting you back... you can smile internally and say no thanks
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