RATED-RKOFRANKLIN Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 I do understand why women are attracted to ghetto stereotypical black men. These men represent many of the core values of being an attractive man. There are seen as bad boys so that doesn’t need any explanation. They are seen as men who can protect themselves thus being able to protect others. Their culture is seen as hyper masculinity because they display a lot of masculinity beyond the normal amount of masculinity many cultures display. In the black community it is not very acceptable for a black man to reject the stereotypical ghetto culture. They are seen as self-haters and sellouts. Black women who are ghetto and black women who are non-ghetto desire a ghetto black man. Dating a non-ghetto black is neither desired nor acceptable. Things don’t get much better outside of the black community. There are three types of white women. There are ones who are not attracted to black men. The second type is looking for a ghetto black man. The third type is looking for a non-ghetto black man. Of the three the first and second types of white women are much more common than the third. So far I’ve only met 2 or 3 white women who are attracted to non-ghetto black men. Non-ghetto black men are instantly labeled as being nerds and nice guys. They are seen as weak men. That is not always the case. I’ve seen black men who lived interesting non-ghetto lives are labeled as nerds and nice guys. There is plenty of ways acting like a man instead of a nice boy without being ghetto. If a white man acts a certain way that is considered a bad boy, and then a non-ghetto black man acts the same way, he is seen as a weak nice guy. I live in the south. There are some successful black country singers and women find them to be unattractive. Some ghetto blacks make comments that these black country singers don’t want to be black. NBA Hall of Famer Karl Malone is seen as an uncle tom by many blacks for not being ghetto on and off the court. I remember as a little kid watching the Jazz and the Bulls play in the Finals, almost every black person in the room watching the game called Karl Malone an uncle tom. The Uncle Tom comments briefly stopped when the played for the Lakers because he was playing with Kobe and Shaq. I've also seen punk rock black men seen as unattractive as well and seen as nerds. While a white guy can live the punk rock lifestyle and will be seen as interesting. It's like black men are almost forced to live a lifestyle in order to have a chance of being attractive. Please don't mention Will Smith and Jamie Fox. They are celebrities thus they can break the norms because of their social status.
Woggle Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 Because many people are attracted to a stereotype instead of an actual person.
TigerCub Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 What are you talking about? Denzel Washington (man of my dreams since I was ~12) is far from ghetto - he's got class and he's far far far from undesirable. He's my idea of the perfect man. sure, that's just an example - but there are people out there that want someone that's not so street and it doesn't say that they are nerds or whatever, classy men are desirable. (doesn't matter what race).
stepka Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 I'm a white woman so I can't answer your question for black women, but I have dated black men in the past and never went for the ghetto types. I like an intelligent conversation, so I dated the educated ones.
Author RATED-RKOFRANKLIN Posted June 29, 2011 Author Posted June 29, 2011 (edited) Another thing I forgot to add to the OP. EDIT: Size is another issue. The demand is for a black man to be big either with muscles or fat. Slim black are also very undesirable. While I see White, Asian, and Latin men of all sizes muscular, fat, slim, etc find relationships. I understand that being muscular is attractive. It is a very extreme demand in the black community. What are you talking about? Denzel Washington (man of my dreams since I was ~12) is far from ghetto - he's got class and he's far far far from undesirable. He's my idea of the perfect man. sure, that's just an example - but there are people out there that want someone that's not so street and it doesn't say that they are nerds or whatever, classy men are desirable. (doesn't matter what race). I said celebrities are excluded because of their social status. Celebrities can bag just about any "normal" person. Edited June 29, 2011 by RATED-RKOFRANKLIN
TigerCub Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 I said celebrities are excluded because of their social status. Celebrities can bag just about any "normal" person. ok, fair enough, but I think in my case, he exudes the qualities, the class, the charm, the good looks, its not about the money and the fame. He shows a good set of qualities of the classy black man. But fine, keeping it outside the celebrity realm, the black friends I've made and still keep in touch with, are classy and not street and I had a huge crush on one of them for the longest time. So yeah, still, not every woman wants someone ghetto, having class is a way better quality.
TigerCub Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 Another thing I forgot to add to the OP. EDIT: Size is another issue. The demand is for a black man to be big either with muscles or fat. Slim black are also very undesirable. While I see White, Asian, and Latin men of all sizes muscular, fat, slim, etc find relationships. I understand that being muscular is attractive. It is a very extreme demand in the black community. ok, that, I gotta say is false. The black guys that I've liked have all been thin->lean, no huge muscular ones, and no fatties. I actually like thicker guys in general (thick, not fat), but all the black guys I've found attractive are thin->lean (most black guys are just lean anyways). I dunno where you're getting your info from....
Author RATED-RKOFRANKLIN Posted June 29, 2011 Author Posted June 29, 2011 ok, that, I gotta say is false. The black guys that I've liked have all been thin->lean, no huge muscular ones, and no fatties. I actually like thicker guys in general (thick, not fat), but all the black guys I've found attractive are thin->lean (most black guys are just lean anyways). I dunno where you're getting your info from.... I got a lot of this information when researching for my sociology courses and from personal experience as a non-ghetto black man. Through personal experience I get respect from young white women, and no respect from young black woman. I had a deformity and black women would often laugh at me about it in public. I don't remember a single white woman laughing at me because of it. It is also the little things. If I hold a door open for a black woman then I rarely get a thank you. If I hold a door open for a white girl then they almost always say thank you. At my job on campus white girls say thank you much more often then black women. White women are more friendly to talk with. White women refer to me as sir or man, while black women call me a kid, child, and boy.
FeelingSmall Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 I'm sorry, I hate thugs. Black, white, asian, latino, doesn't matter. If you're a street rat, stay far away from me please. Ugh, but yes I know lots of girls who love that, they're pretty classy ladies usually.
BWLoca Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 Um, I'm an educated and employed black woman who was brought up to respect others (I say 'thank you' when someone holds the door for me) and I wish I could find a "non-ghetto" black man.
TigerCub Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 I got a lot of this information when researching for my sociology courses and from personal experience as a non-ghetto black man. Through personal experience I get respect from young white women, and no respect from young black woman. I had a deformity and black women would often laugh at me about it in public. I don't remember a single white woman laughing at me because of it. It is also the little things. If I hold a door open for a black woman then I rarely get a thank you. If I hold a door open for a white girl then they almost always say thank you. At my job on campus white girls say thank you much more often then black women. White women are more friendly to talk with. White women refer to me as sir or man, while black women call me a kid, child, and boy. I'm so sorry that people have been so rude an insensitive to you. I honestly don't think its a question about the non-ghetto black man, and more of a question about black women. But even in that case, I don't know why the ones you've had the bad experiences with behaved the way they did. My best friend is Jamaican and her mom pretty much told her "I hope you don't end up with a black man" but even with that - my friend has always been polite, thoughtful and friendly with anyone that's likewise with her, black, white, whatever. I'm sorry some people have been bitchy to you, but yeah as I said, I don't think its a question of the black man, more of a question about rude a$$es in the world.
Enchanted Girl Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 I agree with part of what you are saying. I've noticed it myself that there is a lot more pressure on black men than any other race to be buff. My friend and I were talking about it. And a lot less pressure on the women than any other race I've seen to be thin. (Not saying that it doesn't exist, just saying that its easier to get away with being heavier if you're a black woman.) I can't speak for black women, I am a white woman, but first of all, I don't like the idea of "nerds" and "nice guys" being bad labels. That's who I prefer to date. XD Nerdy, nice guys, so I think they are hot, personally. Secondly, two of my best (white girl) friends have dated black guys. One of them dated a guy who was genuinely nerdy. He's an intellectual. He wears glasses. He loves to debate and play chess. So on and so forth. And the other one dated a super skinny black guy. Seriously, his legs were like the thickness of my arms, but he was super sweet. I'm sorry, I hate thugs. Black, white, asian, latino, doesn't matter. If you're a street rat, stay far away from me please. Ugh, but yes I know lots of girls who love that, they're pretty classy ladies usually. LOL. I agree. I am the same way.
Feelin Frisky Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 Ghetto types just "ghet over" more often because they assert that put-on exterior more than people from northern and or other more-educated backgrounds. And it's not really from the ghetto, it's the way southern white men have long acted is some quarters. Southern whites have long done things others from more repressed areas or educated levels wouldn't. You wouldn't here a northerner say to a strange woman "hey, darlin', you just as sweet as Aunt Sally's shoo-fly pie" or some other dumb homespun witticism. And ghetto blacks didn't invent much of the brand of "English" they speak. It's just southern, and it's a kind of "mob" modality where one is judged unfavorably if he doesn't show the willingness to pop off at the mouth and be more aggressive than his buddies. Females have their own catalogue of "airs". I'm a native NYer and once was courted for a job at a North Carolina consulting firm. I've been out with southern men and seen this whole shtick in action. The ghetto thing is just the black version of the same big "come on" bravado stuff. Don't put anything more into it.
AmEricanWomann Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 I'm a white woman and as far as I'm concerned you couldn't be more wrong. I'm mostly attracted to men of Northern or Eastern European stock, but if I was to go with a black man, it would NEVER be a ghetto type. I like educated men. To me a ghetto guy is a loser. Uneducated, unmotivated, weak minded and jobless. Also the fashion of wearing one's pants so low that the person's underwear is showing is just gross to me. I find absolutely nothing masculine about a ghetto dude...Even their physiques are unattractive, since most of them are skinny and they look and act like overgrown boys to me, not men. While I'm sure that some women are attracted to the ghetto type, I know most white women arent.If a white woman is with this type of guy its often because she's overweight and this is all she can get. So she settles for him rather than face life completely alone. I don't know where some men get the idea that all we women find these men attractive. Maybe from watching Maury Povitch and Jerry Springer?
PhillyDude Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 I do understand why women are attracted to ghetto stereotypical black men. These men represent many of the core values of being an attractive man. There are seen as bad boys so that doesn’t need any explanation. They are seen as men who can protect themselves thus being able to protect others. Their culture is seen as hyper masculinity because they display a lot of masculinity beyond the normal amount of masculinity many cultures display. In the black community it is not very acceptable for a black man to reject the stereotypical ghetto culture. They are seen as self-haters and sellouts. Black women who are ghetto and black women who are non-ghetto desire a ghetto black man. Dating a non-ghetto black is neither desired nor acceptable. Things don’t get much better outside of the black community. There are three types of white women. There are ones who are not attracted to black men. The second type is looking for a ghetto black man. The third type is looking for a non-ghetto black man. Of the three the first and second types of white women are much more common than the third. So far I’ve only met 2 or 3 white women who are attracted to non-ghetto black men. Non-ghetto black men are instantly labeled as being nerds and nice guys. They are seen as weak men. That is not always the case. I’ve seen black men who lived interesting non-ghetto lives are labeled as nerds and nice guys. There is plenty of ways acting like a man instead of a nice boy without being ghetto. If a white man acts a certain way that is considered a bad boy, and then a non-ghetto black man acts the same way, he is seen as a weak nice guy. I live in the south. There are some successful black country singers and women find them to be unattractive. Some ghetto blacks make comments that these black country singers don’t want to be black. NBA Hall of Famer Karl Malone is seen as an uncle tom by many blacks for not being ghetto on and off the court. I remember as a little kid watching the Jazz and the Bulls play in the Finals, almost every black person in the room watching the game called Karl Malone an uncle tom. The Uncle Tom comments briefly stopped when the played for the Lakers because he was playing with Kobe and Shaq. I've also seen punk rock black men seen as unattractive as well and seen as nerds. While a white guy can live the punk rock lifestyle and will be seen as interesting. It's like black men are almost forced to live a lifestyle in order to have a chance of being attractive. Please don't mention Will Smith and Jamie Fox. They are celebrities thus they can break the norms because of their social status. I'm a black guy who is not ghetto and don't go to clubs or bars and currently going out with a very ttractive black woman. Neither one of us are GHETTO so you need to stop chasing after GHETTO WOMAN
iris219 Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 I’m not sure how to say this without sounding racist (I’m not!), but I like black men who make me forget they’re black. I'm not attracted to the stereotypical ghetto type AT ALL. I’m typically attracted to white men (partly because I can’t stand the ghetto type, and there's a lot of this where I live), but I have been known to have crushes on a couple of black men. In college there was this guy, creative hipster type. He was a writer, super smart, had a unique style of dress. Very sexy. One night I was out with a friend and I was trying to point him out by saying, “That’s him. The guy on the left, in the brown button down.” She said, “The black guy?” And I thought, “Huh? The black guy? Oh, yeah, he’s black.” (Also, he was thin—I’m not attracted to anything other than thin.) This guy mostly had white friends. I’m not sure if black people thought he was “too white.” I had a good friend in college—skinny black kid who I would have been interested in if I hadn’t had a BF at the time. He was smart, well-read, well-traveled, super funny. We laughed so much. He was the nerdy, gamer type. He grew up in a military family, and he some black friends, but just as many friends from other races. He told me that a lot of black people didn’t “accept” him. Maybe if you grew up in the ghetto and you're used to it, the ghetto type is OK, but I don't know any woman who likes this type of man.
Woggle Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 I don't think it is a black thing or a southern thing. Many men from lower economic backgrounds act like this because in many ways it is how they survive.Many blue collar men from New York and NJ act like this as well. They adopt the typical guido attitude whether they are Italian or not. Being soft and refined does not pay off in certain environments.
Woggle Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 I have to agree that the ghetto look (whether in blacks, whites, etc) is associated with low socioeconomic level. I suspect these guys attract women from a similar educational and socioeconomic level. That and high class women who want to go slumming and rebel.
Author RATED-RKOFRANKLIN Posted June 29, 2011 Author Posted June 29, 2011 (edited) I'm a black guy who is not ghetto and don't go to clubs or bars and currently going out with a very ttractive black woman. Neither one of us are GHETTO so you need to stop chasing after GHETTO WOMAN I'm not attracted to ghetto women. There are plenty of classy and non-ghetto women who want a ghetto black man. That's part of my point. I have to agree that the ghetto look (whether in blacks, whites, etc) is associated with low socioeconomic level. I suspect these guys attract women from a similar educational and socioeconomic level. Interesting point. As I said and others have pointed out classy women also desire this type of black man. I know this girl in a middle class black family who loves ghetto black men. Don't let them fool you. Edited June 29, 2011 by RATED-RKOFRANKLIN
StoneCold Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 I once went on a date with this girl....first date... and the entire date she berrated me because I wasnt "black enough" for her lmao....funny thing is she wasnt even black... according to her being black meant you were an uncouth buffoon who grew up in a rathole, doesnt know your dad, has no formal education and is not able to speak proper english.... what an insult needless to say there was no date #2
StoneCold Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 I’m not sure how to say this without sounding racist (I’m not!), but I like black men who make me forget they’re black. You failed at the attempt.....miserably lol
StoneCold Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 I do understand why women are attracted to ghetto stereotypical black men. These men represent many of the core values of being an attractive man. There are seen as bad boys so that doesn’t need any explanation. They are seen as men who can protect themselves thus being able to protect others. Their culture is seen as hyper masculinity because they display a lot of masculinity beyond the normal amount of masculinity many cultures display. In the black community it is not very acceptable for a black man to reject the stereotypical ghetto culture. They are seen as self-haters and sellouts. Black women who are ghetto and black women who are non-ghetto desire a ghetto black man. Dating a non-ghetto black is neither desired nor acceptable. Things don’t get much better outside of the black community. There are three types of white women. There are ones who are not attracted to black men. The second type is looking for a ghetto black man. The third type is looking for a non-ghetto black man. Of the three the first and second types of white women are much more common than the third. So far I’ve only met 2 or 3 white women who are attracted to non-ghetto black men. Non-ghetto black men are instantly labeled as being nerds and nice guys. They are seen as weak men. That is not always the case. I’ve seen black men who lived interesting non-ghetto lives are labeled as nerds and nice guys. There is plenty of ways acting like a man instead of a nice boy without being ghetto. If a white man acts a certain way that is considered a bad boy, and then a non-ghetto black man acts the same way, he is seen as a weak nice guy. I live in the south. There are some successful black country singers and women find them to be unattractive. Some ghetto blacks make comments that these black country singers don’t want to be black. NBA Hall of Famer Karl Malone is seen as an uncle tom by many blacks for not being ghetto on and off the court. I remember as a little kid watching the Jazz and the Bulls play in the Finals, almost every black person in the room watching the game called Karl Malone an uncle tom. The Uncle Tom comments briefly stopped when the played for the Lakers because he was playing with Kobe and Shaq. I've also seen punk rock black men seen as unattractive as well and seen as nerds. While a white guy can live the punk rock lifestyle and will be seen as interesting. It's like black men are almost forced to live a lifestyle in order to have a chance of being attractive. Please don't mention Will Smith and Jamie Fox. They are celebrities thus they can break the norms because of their social status. I do know what you are saying though... this is part of the problem with the black community....they sabotage themselves 50 ways to Sunday and this is just one of the ways...unless they can get their act together as a commuinty they will always be the lagging group. I could write a novel about this but I dont want to hijack the thread so I'll stop here
Woggle Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 Poor whites are the same way. My neighbors are black and I would rather have them living next door than a lot of whites I know.
iris219 Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 You failed at the attempt.....miserably lol I agree. Where I grew up, to be black meant to be ghetto. There were other races that fit this description as well and I wouldn't be interested in them. If a black guy isn't ghetto, I would date him if we had something in common and I found him attractive. I'm seriously not racist, just not attracted to ghetto types regardless of race.
StoneCold Posted June 30, 2011 Posted June 30, 2011 I agree. Where I grew up, to be black meant to be ghetto. There were other races that fit this description as well and I wouldn't be interested in them. If a black guy isn't ghetto, I would date him if we had something in common and I found him attractive. I'm seriously not racist, just not attracted to ghetto types regardless of race. lol ok... then perhaps you should have just said the bolded to begin with. The problem with what you said initially is that it came across as a sweeping statement....where did you grow up anyways?. I'm just pointing this out to save you the embarrassment should you say something like that in the presence of a black person who is nothing like that. Its happened to me enough times....some may get offended but I dont....I just laugh and the sad part is they think I'm laughing with them.
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