b18c1 Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 My ex a year ago totally destroyed me. I loved my ex and our child very much. She wanted to party and live a secret life but at the same time wanting me. Some days she treated me like dirt... others a bit better. I myself, don't care to treat anyone like crap (its not me).... especially family members. She began to hang out with single mother co-workers (who were into partying)... and it destroyed us. She is enjoying her life now. Partying, casual hook-ups but one thing she wanted to make sure was to secure her place so it would make her feel and look good to other people. I am a very very hard worker inside the house and out. When I got laid off and I wasn't able to find work...I felt horrible because I felt like I wasn't contributing enough. A few months before my respiratory therapist was set to begin (i was on a waitlist), the dirt treatment went so far... that I told her for the first time in our entire time together that if she couldn't respect me, then we have to split. She knew that she crossed the line and instead of realizing what she was doing to our child and I... she agreed with the split but her attitude, demenor and everything else has gotten worse. I am constantly treated like a disease (even in front of our child). We had to go to family court to settle our child. 50/50 was the outcome. I manage to be a full time student (I am in my program now) and walk away with 50/50 isn't bad. I was just devastated on how she tried to paint me so worthless for being a student. There were false calls to cops, her telling lies about me, disobeying judge's orders... name it and it has been done. Sadly, I had to "fight" back against these things to protect myself. Sadly, its not my character to be on the offensive but I have been. Sadly as well, when I am... she gets scared and backs off. Being rude is harder than my entire school program but it kills me inside. It seems that she wanted to justify in herself that she chose the right thing therefore tried her best to prevent me from climbing out my hole. There is far too much to list but it seems that she is paranoid that my hard work might show itself one day. Here I am about a year later and I am trying to move forward and I cannot. I helped my ex so much in her life that it kills me inside that she took it and became so evil with it. What would help would actually be able to go out on dates. I put myself out there but I have been shot down for a simple date over 10 times since our breakup. I feel so down inside because of this...and it causes me to think that maybe I should had tolerated her bull crap. I cook, clean, read ... name it... I do it. I only in my mid twenties but I am very responsible. I have a good friend base but all of them have wives or girlfriends. I keep trying but getting shot down hurts. Lastly, we are suppose to have one big court battle this time next year. She wants to go to get a professional degree but she is likely worried of my capabilities of preventing it. She did tons "sure fire" ways to prevent my own progress in life... but for some strange reason, they all backfired on her. I will be done with my school this time next year and will have a job that pays approx $40/hr. I could easily make her life hell like how she did mines because her schooling will get intense next year. So I sat down, looked at my toddler son and just promised him that I won't do to her what she did to me. I actually will just ask for full custody without any child support needed and to just tell her that if she needs help with money while in school, then I will help her. Basically just do the opposite of what she did to me. It came to me that my child doesn't perfer to be around his mom (my ex). My child loves me very much and cries often for me when he is with his mom. One day I sat down and it clicked into my head that my character is what my child fell is in love with. So, I feel strong that I won't stoop to her level but be that person my child knows me for. I would like to get an opinion from you all but I think my child will grow up appreciating that I didn't attempt to retaliate against my ex even though she made false calls (such as calling saying im trying to kill myself in front of my child!), disrespects me, disobey judge's orders, etc. Those wondering, I tried to bring these issues up to our judge but its amazing how much automatic respect a mother has compared to a father in the court system. Also, would anyone know why she is like this to me? Thanks.
coolheadal Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 (edited) You'll like me weak when the comes to wife. I have no problem saying that. Love can do this to a man. I still feel I am sadden and mad at her for destroying my life and the life she and I could have had. Too much control freak will get her in the end. After all of this I won't want her again if she came back but I know she won't come back. I don't even want to talk to her on the phone too long if I had to talk to her. See you have a kid so no matter what she'll be with you as she the mother of your kid, and that's won't change. Your still young and most of us her are older and hard to find someone you can trust with your life again. Right now too much hate is in the air here. The wife and me use to watch WIPEOUT and now she only one watching it. I don't want to be in the same room as her. See a lot of you are lucky to have the ex moved out in my situation is different. I had given up my house that I own to be with the wife up there. Now I got to reverse and head back to the my house I own. I try to pick-up the broken heart pieces that I've left a trail behind me... Edited June 29, 2011 by coolheadal
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