patronum7 Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 My boyfriend of 2 years says he doesn't want me anymore. He is 5 weeks away from finishing his Physician Assistant program and just found out last week that he cannot sit for his licensing exam bc of a misdemeanor charge.(MaryJane) He was told because it happened last year during his enrollment in the program-the outlook is grim. 2 years of hard work have gone down the drain. He feels like he has failed me as well as his family. He said he can't even look at me because he is so ashamed. He feels like he has lied to me this whole time because he is not able to fulfill all the promises he made. There is nothing he can do for me or our future together. We were planning on moving in the fall and getting married. Said I need to forget about him and go away...that I have a bright future ahead of me and deserve someone that is going somewhere in life/better than him. (starting medical school next year) He doesn't want to leech off of me or drag me down/hold me back as I reach my goals. Said I am wasting my time by staying with him because he will never become anything. I am very worried about him- I have never seen him this way before. I want to be by his side during a time like this I protested everything he said, but he said he is sticking with his decision. He is my first love, so this is very hard for me to grasp He doesn't know what his next move is at this point and feels like he has reached the end of all options We were a power couple and everything was going so well -we had our futures planned out- He said it was the hardest decision he has ever had to make, but feels it's best for me My family thinks he gave a weak excuse to get out- but I was there and based on his actions and emotions I feel he was genuine. He has given up hope and doesn't know what to do...yet at the same time doesn't want my help and didn't want to hear my suggestions. I found out today that every state has a different rule and they view these things case by case. I was thinking of giving his mom all the info I found so she can give it to him. He needs to atleast TRY. Is that a good idea? I just hate to see him give up In the end I asked if I would ever see him again and he said he needs some time to himself.....so does this mean we may get back together?? I feel like because he was so upset that is why he decided on this and that maybe later he will realize he overreacted? He is really stubborn at times and of course pride plays a role...but will he ever realize this? I am so sad because he let me go--his situation--and how upset he was We didn't end on a negative note, which is why I am not sure how to process all of this. I feel like there is still hope for us, but don't know how to proceed. I was thinking of contacting him in a week to see how he is doing. I don't want to fill my mind with the possibility of us ever getting back if that will never be the case Any advice?
wilsonx Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 worry about yourself first, he's giving you good advice. don't worry about him, worry about your needs first
TheHurtProcess Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 Agreed. If he needs that space, give it to him. Trying to interfere or get involved may only have the reverse effect and make him think that you're not respecting his wishes by giving him the space he desires/needs. Use this time to focus on yourself and your goals. Perhaps he might just realize that he made a mistake. Perhaps not. I know you want to help. But, you're only going to make the situation worse if you don't just let him be until he's ready to come out of it. Trust me on this. The best of luck to you.
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