lemonlegs Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 Hi everyone. My boyfriend who's almost 23 and I (turning 20) have been dating for just over a year. In the past couple of months, I've been having doubts about our relationship. He did nothing wrong... like any boyfriend, he sometimes wouldn't respond to my calls and/or texts which would irk me, but nothing too serious. Overall, he was a great boyfriend. However, I will fully admit to having GIGS as everyone here calls it and just wondering if we did stay together for a loooong time (which I see as a possibility because he's so wonderful and loyal) that I'd regret missing out on my 20s, going out and having fun. Does being in a fulfilling relationship really trump that? I know a lot of people here may think I'm an immature girl to even ask that question, but I won't lie, it's one that's seriously crossed my mind. So about a month ago, I said I needed space, which he took really bad even though I didn't intend to leave him. That being said, it still shook him up. Within three days we reconciled and he promised to change even the slightest thing that caused problems. Everything was awesome after that... but despite that, those same feelings began creeping in and I just thought it wasn't fair to me or him. But I can HONESTLY say I love him and care for him. And even our sex got way better than before our break... which helped a lot. I still couldn't control these thoughts though. Anyways, it came up one morning and it seemed appropriate that I would voice my concerns and ultimately ended it. It's been only three days and I feel like absolute crap and I've began to wonder if it's just me being immature and wanting to 'play the field'. And he still very much wants to reconcile... and I know before long, it would be too late. I've thought day and night about this.... and how much it would hurt to see him give so much love to another girl. Please don't attack me. I've acknowledged what I feel to be a mistake. But at the same time, everyone always says that it's not likely you'll be with the same person at 40 that you were when you were 20... is there any truth to this? I'm so confused...
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 what aspect of life do you feel like you are missing out on? could you include him on those experiences? does the aspect include another man? when you say "play the field" do you mean date around? Personally, I think GIGS is a load of crap. And if you did actually love someone you wouldn't leave just to "play the field" as you put it. If you love him then try to include him on the experiences that you want, unless it involves sleeping around which I doubt you will find much satisfaction in the long term.
Author lemonlegs Posted June 30, 2011 Author Posted June 30, 2011 Yes, by playing the field, I mean dating around. But that's not IT. I feel as though I'm missing out on being with my friends and doing that sorta stuff. I lost contact with a lot of friends while being with him... it's just something that happened...I know you're just going to say that I should be able to maintain friendships while with him, but realistically speaking, it's hard to do sometimes. Especially while I'm in school. I've asked everyone on advice for everything and everyone is giving me differing opinions. I'm just torn.
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted June 30, 2011 Posted June 30, 2011 No I understand the friendship dilemma. try explaining to him that you want to spend more time with friends and invite him along for the ride. like I said you don't need to cut him out of your life just to be with friends. try including him in the things you want to do, at least then if you still feel like breaking up with him you will know that you wanting to hang out with friends is not the real reason for cutting him out.
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