On my birthday? really? you coudln't wait a day or two?

[Southofthebay]

Hello Loveshack,

 

Like most of you here(at least at one point) I'm suffering through a horrible break-up, I'm completely devestated. For years(16-19yrs old) I prayed to God to help me find the perfect girl. She has green eyes, light skin beautiful dark hair, and beautiful features all around. I liked this girl since I was about 16 in high school when she didn't even know I existed. Well, destiny played it's part and one day(I was 19) I some how ended talking to her through friends. At first I was a bit of a jerk because I had the wrong idea about her, everyone told me she was a slut and all this and that. It turns out she wasn't much of a slut after all. After about a year of seeing each other, at her birthday party she dropped a bombshell, she told me she was a virgin when we first had sex. My world froze, and I fell madly in love. It was exactly the girl I always prayed for, a pure girl that was all mine, I was her first, her only. The only man that ever did anything sexual with her. I fell like a ton of bricks for her after this. We hang out everyday until I decide to move out so I can be more comfortable with her(my parents did not aproove of her sleeping over). I move out, and she is there every single day of my life, I loved it. I loved coming home to her, seeing her in her little booty shorts looking all sexy. There was times when my friends would use my computer to log into a facebook that wasn't really mine, they would just sit and talk to girls on it or what ever, I never used facebook at this time. She eventually found it, thinking it wasn't a big deal I told her what was going on, it's a friends and so forth it just the only FB on my computer so it stays logged on, I don't go on it. She didnt really believe me at first so she took some days off from me until I pretty much begged her to come back, and told her that it wasn't me, I didn't do anything! She came back to me. Now years later, I felt we were doing good. She wanted to move out to a better place with me, officially, moving up as a couple. Well, the weekend before last I came home, and she immidiately left to the bedroom, I thought it was odd. I sit around playing video games in my living room ti'll the early morning. During this time I receive a text from a friend I had YEARS ago, how she got my number? I think through AIM(it automaticly has it somehow). So we start texting back and forth, she sends me a picture, I respond I think you look very beautiful(i mean she did, not even trying to flirt, it was just honesty), and we were just talking about our lives and so on. So I go to bed and I leave my phone in my living room, when I wake up I find her looking through it, she had been reading it and I told her it was nothing, but she spazzed!! she started screaming "I GOT YOU!,I GOT YOU!!, I GOT TON'S OF GUYS WAITING IN LINE!" I told her to relax, it wasn't that serious. That day she asked to take a break. I accepted, I told her if she felt it was that serious to take sometime and get herself together, realize it wasn't that big of a deal. Well, to her it was. We went NC for about 5 days, then on my birthday, she said to pick her up, she wanted to spend time with me. Damn, she destroyed me, she acted all cool at first, but once we got to my place, she shattered me into a million peices. I told her that it wasn't serious, I never did anything like that! I never once touched another girl while I was with her throughout our whole relationship, I never once cheated on her! But I guess her friends pumped her up and convinced her that what I had done was cheating.

 

Now I'm so damn ****inng depressed. I can't do anything with myself, I have no will for any type of life. I'm skipping class today because I am just not up to it. I tried to go NC but she texted me today for some money I need to give her(I never borrowed money but she needed me to buy something for her right before the break and never got the chance,) I don't know what to do, should I see her and give her the money? or should I just drop it off in her mail box? through a friend? I kinda don't want to see her because I know nothing good will come of it. What should I do? I really want her back , but I have an overwhelming feeling she wont ever want me back because her family hated me( I think they felt I took her away from them). I feel like she has too much support from other people to want to ever be with me, although I would love to have her back, I know deep down inside I probably wont ever be with her again. I also feel that if she does decide to come back to me, it wont be until after she gets heart broken by some new guy, that I cannot live with. I cannot live with knowing the girl I once had, the pure angel is no longer what she was when we first fell in love. I feel horrible, I have no will for life, for school for work, for friends. I haven't ate anothing solid since sunday(because it was a bday thing my family had, i forced it down). Her best friend goes out with my brother and she was there(my bday thing) and it was so awkward. I love this girl to death. I'll do anything to get her back, but I know it's probably not going to happen.. What can I do people? to get over her? to get back some optomism? what should I do about the giving her the money? HELP ME even if it's words of encouragement.. It will help a great deal.

 

Thanks,

 

E

 

PS sorry for the horrible grammar, I just let go and wrote..

[HeartOfAPhoenix]

why would you give her money for something that you were going to buy for your GIRLFRIEND.

 

 

She's not your girlfriend so keep the money, you don't owe her anything. You are broken up, and she did the dumping so don't feel like you owe her something at all. Go NC, grieve, work on yourself, plan a life without her, and get out of the mindset that you will never find your "dream girl".

 

Think of your "dream girl" right now... Stop thinking about your ex and honestly think of all the qualities and features your dream girl would have. Does any of those qualities contain any aspect of dumping you? I hope not.

 

right now you are thinking about your ex in the same exact way that I thought about mine directly after my break up. it's been about 3 months, she's off of that pedestal that I placed her on, I'm doing much better, and I have my eyes on another "dream girl" so trust me when I say IT WILL GET BETTER.

 

you need to tough this out and get through it. everyone gets their heart broken at least once in their life so you are not alone and can likely get some advice from close friends or even a story about how they handled everything.

[Southofthebay]

I'm sorry, I didn't make myself clear, I kinda just babbled everything out. I was supposed to buy her something she needed to pay something at a store but she had to go to work, she only had a $100.00 bill so she gave it to me to pay her phone bill, I told her I would do it while she was at work. I never got the chance to, and then this happened. I want to give her the money, I'm not trying to steal from her. So I'm wondering what is the best way to give her the $? She needs it tonight to pay her phone bill. Should I go drop it off tonight? should I give it to her with a letter? maybe something to remember me by(theres this stuffed animal she forgot to take). Damn I'm sounding kinda bad right now.. Should I just leave the money in a box on her doorstep and then text her that it's out front? I really want to leave things on good terms. I'm having those "what if in time" moments.. You know, the thought of after a month of two you reunite, but I highly doubt it, I really feel like she wont return, and if she does it will probably be after getting hurt by some other guy, then I wont be able to take her back because she wont be the so-called "dream girl" I've dubbed her. Damn, this sucks! I can't imagine her ****ing another guy! I can picture her doing that while wearing the bracelet I bought her for christmas! I have a feeling there is a guy helping her forget me because she seems over me already.. Re-reading this, really sounds kinda pathetic.. Not a good way to start my 24th year of life.. I really had a lot of expectations for this year, especially with her.

[HeartOfAPhoenix]

I'm sorry, I didn't make myself clear, I kinda just babbled everything out. I was supposed to buy her something she needed to pay something at a store but she had to go to work, she only had a $100.00 bill so she gave it to me to pay her phone bill, I told her I would do it while she was at work. I never got the chance to, and then this happened. I want to give her the money, I'm not trying to steal from her. So I'm wondering what is the best way to give her the $? She needs it tonight to pay her phone bill. Should I go drop it off tonight? should I give it to her with a letter? maybe something to remember me by(theres this stuffed animal she forgot to take). Damn I'm sounding kinda bad right now.. Should I just leave the money in a box on her doorstep and then text her that it's out front? I really want to leave things on good terms. I'm having those "what if in time" moments.. You know, the thought of after a month of two you reunite, but I highly doubt it, I really feel like she wont return, and if she does it will probably be after getting hurt by some other guy, then I wont be able to take her back because she wont be the so-called "dream girl" I've dubbed her. Damn, this sucks! I can't imagine her ****ing another guy! I can picture her doing that while wearing the bracelet I bought her for christmas! I have a feeling there is a guy helping her forget me because she seems over me already.. Re-reading this, really sounds kinda pathetic.. Not a good way to start my 24th year of life.. I really had a lot of expectations for this year, especially with her.

 

 

Don't do the letter, if you are worried about her forgetting you don't. She spent enough time with you so you are unforgettable. her feelings aren't the same but she will always remember the good times you shared with each other.

 

 

as for the money I'd recommend either dropping it off in her mailbox if you can then text her so she knows it's there but avoid a conversation with her. or if you think you can keep your composure you can drop it off personally but again avoid any conversations just drop it off and leave. there's a possible problem with having a friend do this deed because she could contact you and say your friend never followed through.

[Southofthebay]

Tomorrow I will give her the money face to face and keep my composure. I think this is best because if I am able to see her face to face and not throw myself to my knees that means that I am in the right direction. I am telling myself that she is probably ****ing someone else. She is definately seeing someone else, oh well. She's no longer my pure angel. It hurts but if it's not hapening now, then it will happen later and it will hurt then, months from now when I find out. I'm not going to talk or see her after tomorrow, ever again, well at least not at my will. I'm going to find a new girl that looks like zooey deschannel or hope saldoval. I'm going to lose weight, get in shape. I'm going to keep myself together. I'm not a beast looking guy, I obviously got her, as beautiful as she is. I did not look my best then. But then I have moments like what I just had, right this second while I was writting this. I feel the emptyness. Right now she would be sitting next to me all cuddled up against my shoulder, warm, watching "the office" re-runs. Instead I am all alone in boxer watching fox 11 news.. writting this... Thinking and writting about her while she is probably out with some guy or friends, completely over me.. How can I forget her? What do I do when I'm alone? I try to read books but all I think about is her, I watch tv and all I think about is her. Unfortunately I have a bad shoulder separation so i can't work out rightnow, it had me depressed before this incident, it still hasn't healed and I still can't work out. I just sit here. I can't do my homework because all I think about is her. Worst of all, it's really affecting my work! I mean, I'm forgeting things! I'm ****ing up at work because I think of her so much! I can't keep up with the day! I keep skipping class! I try to go but I rather go hang out with a friend instead and drink beers to have someone to talk to about this.. What do I do? I need help! I want to get off my knees and get over her, but what do I do especially if I cant work out? How can I get that, "I hope I'll get back with her" thought? How do I take away that "I was her first, and we were together for 5 years so we were meant to be" feeling? I don't have any friends that are girls at all! She never let me. She always had guy friends! damn I feel so bad..

Edited June 29, 2011 by Southofthebay