Clubman35 Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 So many of you have already read my story, married 14 years, wife left about 3 weeks ago (after I found out she was out meeting someone)..... well, I think I may have screwed up. This isn't the first time that we have separated, we split back in '02 for about 10 months. I begged her to work on our marriage back them.... for several months before I finally gave up. During our time apart, I starting seeing another woman. Didn't sleep with her or anything, just talked and went out a few times. She's a great girl, just not the one for me, I love my wife. Well, a few days ago, I ran into her at a local gas station (we would run into each other on occasion, chat for a few and that was it). Since this last time maybe a week ago, I have talked to her several times. Didn't meet up with her, just talked on the phone. This past weekend, I asked her to stop calling me while I sorted out everything in my life. I told her it wasn't fair to string her along (I'm positive she wants this to be more than just talking). Well, last night, I was talking to my wife on the phone and confessed to her that I had talked to this other woman.... oh, man, you'd think WWIII just broke out. She told me to f*ck off and go be with her. Then she said that she was going to go out and pay me back just to hurt me. I didn't do anything, and I felt horrible just for talking to her. I'm the kind of person that can't hide things from people, I just can't. I told her (wife) that if she was going to punish me for being honest, and if she was just going to hurt me on purpose, then forget it. I will stop trying to get her back. She then told me that she was just mad and wouldn't do anything she said she would. She still says that she's willing to go to counseling with me, but she's p*ssed. I guess I feel that it's not fair for her to be this mad at me after what she has done. Please verify what a total idiot I really am.
DDINNYC Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 At the end of the day you were honest with her. Give her some space and time to cool off, especially if she is still willing to see a MC. Of course she is pissed. Apologize to her and give her some space. Hopefully, she will not go out with some other guy just to get revenge. If that is the case, there are serious issues with the way you guys resolve conflict, and this need to be seriously addressed with the MC. Hope this helps, and good luck!
GorillaTheater Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 I don't think you screwed up at all; you handled the situation entirely honorably. Here's the thing: your wife left you for another guy, or at least the thought of him. It didn't occur to her, while she's off in her little fantasy land, that other women might be interested in you. What a shock! "I don't want him, but I don't want anybody else to want him either!" So now she's had a little reality injected into her world. If she brings it up again, you're not discussing it and you're certainly not going to apologize for it. You told her what happened, and as far you're concerned, the matter's closed. It's none of her business anyways, at this point. Let her stew on it. Let her worry that her Plan B (you) may be snapped up by another woman. And just for a laugh, watch how that changes how she interacts with you. Dollars to donuts she gets more flirty. You might want to think how you'll deal with that, when and if it happens.
Author Clubman35 Posted June 28, 2011 Author Posted June 28, 2011 Thanks for the replies. I don't even know why I did what I did. I think the attention just felt good after being rejected. Still, I did feel like I was doing something that I shouldn't have been and needed to put an end to it. I'm not perfect, but I'm not a cheater.
coolheadal Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 Forget her! She'll only do it again if you brought her back she already been temped once. That lover as come into her life and snatched her away from you. So if you brought her back into your life and she promises and promise never ever to do it again. Then what happen's to that lover. I am sure he'll return and she's gone again! Can you handle the hurt a second time? Think with your mind then then with your heart man!
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