proactivedreamer Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 (edited) I feel like my self-confidence wavers when it comes to my interactions with the opposite sex. I find myself obsessing over every little action, word, gesture, etc. I just don't feel wanted by the men that I want, all of whom I feel are in my reach. I try to shift my focus onto other things (Exercise, reading, learning french, working, tennis, and so forth). I just feel like **** these days, and I feel ignored. All I ****ing want is a little wanted attention from the men I find attractive-specifically guys I have been somewhat involved with and still sorta am on some level. I just feel a whole lot of rejection. This thread is not intended to express self-pity, the point is to try to understand why I never feel like I have some control and why I find that I end up with men who only want to interact with me on their terms. Why is it all about them, and am I worthy of being loved and wanted. I just want someone to want to spend time with me and converse on various topics and laugh. What the ****!!! I sound so sad..eeek. I guess I am not suppose to care about these "casual relationships" but I do; I do ****ing care. I guess I need a cheer me up response Feel free to ask for some elaboration if you need to... Edited June 28, 2011 by proactivedreamer
Richardbro Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 (edited) Guys are much like girls in which they want what they can't have. You seem like you care a little too much about little things such as actions, words and gestures. Try to care less and just be positive and enthusiastic. Let the conversations flow naturally. Confidence is also key. Stare a guy in the eyes when you talk to him, and make contact with him when you talk to him (touch his arm when making a joke, etc.). When it comes to the opposite sex and interactions with females; I personally (being a guy myself) think that guys are more simple minded compared to women. Make them work for your attention. Guys love that! The key here is acting like you 'don't care'. Perhaps your frustration is being shown in your actions and facial expressions, which can be a definite turn off for guys (since they like girls that are positive). Teasing guys is a great way to get them to desire you. An example is if they say "text me tonight", tell them that maybe if you're not busy, or tell them "If you're lucky" with a smile. You seem like you're an attractive girl who is just going through a little streak of bad luck . Don't let it discourage you; keep your chin up. What are some examples of the 'rejection' scenarios you have been through? Edited June 29, 2011 by Richardbro
Author proactivedreamer Posted June 29, 2011 Author Posted June 29, 2011 What are some examples of the 'rejection' scenarios you have been through? Well, I was kinda "seeing" this guy-nothing serious, just for fun. We were seeing each other a few times a week for over a month, and lately contact has just burned out. I am not sure why. I spoke with him a few times last week, and I expressed that I wanted to see him. He said I would soon and that was on Sunday. Sunday he asked me to call him when I got home but I didn't cause I got home very late and had to be up early. Well, he texted me Monday morning asking me why I had not called him. I responded and then he responded. The texting ceased until I texted in him in the late afternoon, which he didn't respond to. Then I texted again late in the evening asking if he was ignoring me, no response. It isn't like him to not at least respond. The situation with him seems to be if I don't respond to his messages right away it bothers him but if its reverse he can just ignore me, and my feelings don't matter. I have not been clingy with this dude as I understand the arrangement-well, I don't know how I feel. I am not stressing over it but it bothers me that he contacts me when he feels like it but if I do, I am ignored. I just feel like I have no control and that I am constantly having to engage with men only on their terms. I am simply bothered by this.
worlybear Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 Get rid of him. He's using you and you deserve much better.
BeerveReito Posted June 30, 2011 Posted June 30, 2011 New Movie The Town Hereafter film posters Download No Strings Attached Movie Bootleg TRON: Legacy The Movie movie dvd Scott Pilgrim vs. the World aka Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Life The Eagle film premiere Insidious 2010 full film Watch The Complete True Grit Movie Download The Modern Family - Season Two Film Watch Insidious Movie On Computer Download Last Night Film Kick-Ass movie 2010
Badenov Posted June 30, 2011 Posted June 30, 2011 On some sub-concious level, the opposite sex has radar. They can always sense what the other person wants & if they're desperate, needy, or insecure. This means you can't fake it. You really need to feel confident & build your self-esteem. Also, never compromise your self-respect for them. Check out this website. It might help: http://www.baggagereclaim.com/
Jaina19 Posted June 30, 2011 Posted June 30, 2011 Well, I was kinda "seeing" this guy-nothing serious, just for fun. We were seeing each other a few times a week for over a month, and lately contact has just burned out. I am not sure why. I spoke with him a few times last week, and I expressed that I wanted to see him. He said I would soon and that was on Sunday. Sunday he asked me to call him when I got home but I didn't cause I got home very late and had to be up early. Well, he texted me Monday morning asking me why I had not called him. I responded and then he responded. The texting ceased until I texted in him in the late afternoon, which he didn't respond to. Then I texted again late in the evening asking if he was ignoring me, no response. It isn't like him to not at least respond. The situation with him seems to be if I don't respond to his messages right away it bothers him but if its reverse he can just ignore me, and my feelings don't matter. I have not been clingy with this dude as I understand the arrangement-well, I don't know how I feel. I am not stressing over it but it bothers me that he contacts me when he feels like it but if I do, I am ignored. I just feel like I have no control and that I am constantly having to engage with men only on their terms. I am simply bothered by this. Aww, I really feel for you. Been in the same situation with a guy. It's hard when you really like them, but you don't need someone like this in your life, he is a jerk. He only talks to you when it suits him and otherwise can't be bothered. These sort of people are what is damaging your self-esteem. Don't talk to him for a while and you'll probably feel better and forget what you ever saw in him. Eventually you'll realize you deserve better. Show people that you have respect for yourself by not allowing them to mess you around and people will respect you more. Hope you feel better soon
buster2209 Posted July 2, 2011 Posted July 2, 2011 On some sub-concious level, the opposite sex has radar. They can always sense what the other person wants & if they're desperate, needy, or insecure. This means you can't fake it. You really need to feel confident & build your self-esteem. Also, never compromise your self-respect for them. Check out this website. It might help: http://www.baggagereclaim.com/ Exactly! +1!
Recommended Posts