LadyFlame Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 So two days ago I was out having a drink with my friend and I noticed there were two guys nearby us and I was positive one of them was checking my friend out. So me being me, I invited us to go over and sit with them. My friend sat next to the guy, and I sat next to his friend. Me and his friend were rude to each other from the start (but in a bantering way) and I found myself more and more attracted to him. A few hours later, turns out my friend and his friend didn't like each other (apparently I found out afterwards that that guy had been interested in me, but he was definitely not my type) and I ended up going back with this guy to his place and we had a great time. Anyway, he's supposed to be taking me out to dinner tomorrow evening. I did tell him I wasn't interested in a relationship after my last one which only ended about a week ago, and I was like "What about you?" and he was like "Let's see where it goes." Fair enough. Anyway - he's 45 (but looks about 32) and I'm 24. I do actually like this guy. Yesterday I text him to see if he was still up for dinner and he said yes. Today didn't hear from him and I'm certainly not going to text him first. I'm "assuming" tomorrow is still on. The question is, what does the silence for the whole of today mean? Am I being paranoid or is it usual for guys not to text/call everyday? Tomorrow is pretty much "first date" thing. So any thoughts?
motive2002 Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 I would assume the prior plans are still on and don't read anything into the silence you're taking about. If you told him you're not interested in a relationship, maybe he's just giving you plenty of breathing room, in addition to not taking the whole thing too serious himself. Makes sense to me anyway.
Author LadyFlame Posted June 28, 2011 Author Posted June 28, 2011 I would assume the prior plans are still on and don't read anything into the silence you're taking about. If you told him you're not interested in a relationship, maybe he's just giving you plenty of breathing room, in addition to not taking the whole thing too serious himself. Makes sense to me anyway. So do you think he might be looking for something more? If that was the case, why wouldn't he have text me today? I figured if someone was interested in you properly they'd be texting everyday?
reboot Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 You haven't even been on a first date, you told him you weren't interested in a relationship, and yet you expect to hear from him every day?
Author LadyFlame Posted June 28, 2011 Author Posted June 28, 2011 You haven't even been on a first date, you told him you weren't interested in a relationship, and yet you expect to hear from him every day? Well, I kind of figured, considering we got on so well when we went back to his place, that if he was interested in more then he would be texting me everyday to let me know he was? Also, is it common to ask a girl for dinner if he really likes her or is that just some standard thing that guys do to any girl?
oaks Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 So any thoughts? I wouldn't read anything in to it one way or another.
reboot Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 Well, I kind of figured, considering we got on so well when we went back to his place, that if he was interested in more then he would be texting me everyday to let me know he was? Also, is it common to ask a girl for dinner if he really likes her or is that just some standard thing that guys do to any girl? The generation gap at work. Men of his age do not consider texting to be a legitimate form of communication. And yes, a dinner date is pretty standard for us older guys. You're not going to find you have a lot in common I'm afraid.
Author LadyFlame Posted June 28, 2011 Author Posted June 28, 2011 I wouldn't read anything in to it one way or another. Meaning? You mean the "no text" or the whole thing? I suppose what I'm really trying to ask is, is not texting for one day a big issue? The way I would take it is big because I'm a posessive/obsessive person so these type of things obsess in my mind a lot.
reboot Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 Meaning? You mean the "no text" or the whole thing? I suppose what I'm really trying to ask is, is not texting for one day a big issue? The way I would take it is big because I'm a posessive/obsessive person so these type of things obsess in my mind a lot. You told him you didn't want a relationship.
Dust Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 What did you guys do when you were back at his place? Be sure to tell him “you’re old enough to be my father” in the middle of when you guys are getting hot and heavy.
Author LadyFlame Posted June 28, 2011 Author Posted June 28, 2011 The generation gap at work. Men of his age do not consider texting to be a legitimate form of communication. And yes, a dinner date is pretty standard for us older guys. You're not going to find you have a lot in common I'm afraid. So does that mean he likes me more than a bit of fun? The thing is, I'm quite unusual. I've been told I have the personality of a 50 year old man, in regard to things that interest me and some of the things I talk about. I don't know much about how guys his age act with girls..
oaks Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 Well, I kind of figured, considering we got on so well when we went back to his place, that if he was interested in more then he would be texting me everyday to let me know he was? Just imagine another woman posting something here along the lines of "I told him I wasn't interested in a relationship and now he's texting me every day! Argh! Men!" Also, is it common to ask a girl for dinner if he really likes her or is that just some standard thing that guys do to any girl? He's probably interested. Ask him - you don't seem shy!
Author LadyFlame Posted June 28, 2011 Author Posted June 28, 2011 What did you guys do when you were back at his place? Be sure to tell him “you’re old enough to be my father” in the middle of when you guys are getting hot and heavy. We already have. Well, I did tell him that but I didn't see it as a big issue - I've never been with someone that old before and I found I didn't really mind. I overlooked the age and wrinkles as his personality intrigued me so much.
reboot Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 So does that mean he likes me more than a bit of fun? The thing is, I'm quite unusual. I've been told I have the personality of a 50 year old man, in regard to things that interest me and some of the things I talk about. I don't know much about how guys his age act with girls.. He doesn't know you well enough to know how he likes you. That's the purpose of the dinner date. To get to know each other. It might take several dates to get to know each other. Rush life much?
Author LadyFlame Posted June 28, 2011 Author Posted June 28, 2011 Just imagine another woman posting something here along the lines of "I told him I wasn't interested in a relationship and now he's texting me every day! Argh! Men!" He's probably interested. Ask him - you don't seem shy! I suppose, I'm not shy but I do have a big fear of rejection so maybe that's why I come across as aloof at times. I suppose my confusion lies in this whole "dinner" business. Why dinner exactly?
reboot Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 I suppose, I'm not shy but I do have a big fear of rejection so maybe that's why I come across as aloof at times. I suppose my confusion lies in this whole "dinner" business. Why dinner exactly? It's how we were raised. We didn't have X-boxes back when we learned dating.
Author LadyFlame Posted June 28, 2011 Author Posted June 28, 2011 He doesn't know you well enough to know how he likes you. That's the purpose of the dinner date. To get to know each other. It might take several dates to get to know each other. Rush life much? I admit I do things backwards. As in, how I mentioned I went back to his and had a really good time. So the dinner date is to see how well we get on, you mean?. And then you suspect that if it goes well, he'd be more interested in "relationship" terms?
oaks Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 Meaning? You mean the "no text" or the whole thing? I suppose what I'm really trying to ask is, is not texting for one day a big issue? The way I would take it is big because I'm a posessive/obsessive person so these type of things obsess in my mind a lot. Yes, I meant don't read anything in to not getting a text for a whole day. It's no big deal, whether he's interested or not, and it doesn't give you any clues about whether he's interested or not.
reboot Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 I admit I do things backwards. As in, how I mentioned I went back to his and had a really good time. So the dinner date is to see how well we get on, you mean?. And then you suspect that if it goes well, he'd be more interested in "relationship" terms? I suspect he's interested in some kind of relationship.... it might not be exactly what you're thinking....
Author LadyFlame Posted June 28, 2011 Author Posted June 28, 2011 I suspect he's interested in some kind of relationship.... it might not be exactly what you're thinking.... What kind were you thinking? Yes@Dust @Oaks - the reason it is making me obsessive is because I think if I really like someone I think about them 24 hours a day.
oaks Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 Why dinner exactly? A guy has to eat. Why not share the experience with a nice girl he recently met?
Dust Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 It's how we were raised. We didn't have X-boxes back when we learned dating. It's Xbox no dash. Don't act like Nintendo and Atari is any different you would have had that.
reboot Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 What kind were you thinking? Well, you guys probably don't like the same music, so............
Author LadyFlame Posted June 28, 2011 Author Posted June 28, 2011 A guy has to eat. Why not share the experience with a nice girl he recently met? Yeah, but isn't dinner more on the romantic side rather than the "playful" side? He wants to take me to a fancy restaurant in central london?
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