What looks range should I logically go for, being average looking and overweight?

[thehead]

*facepalm*

 

You're absolutely right. I could spend my time more wisely.

 

I will try to go to the Y tomorrow. At least get on the treadmill, if not start a weight lifting program.

 

Do it, man. Go for 30 minutes.

Then come post.

[betterdeal]

As far as "hot" vs "average", I don't find obesity to be attractive. I am attracted to skinny girls, who are pretty in the face and have good bodies. Yes, I know it's hypocritical, but I can't suddenly change what makes me hot. Nothing turns me off more than someone who is overweight.

 

Oh, I hadn't read that. It's clear from this you would not date yourself, no matter how good a heart you have, isn't it? We hate in others that which we hate in ourselves.

[oldguy]

It doesn't seem as though women are into looks that much. I always see these hot women that seem to be in a whole different league than the guy their with.

Of course that could be because I think women are hot and guys are not, hmmm.

[betterdeal]

You know what's funny? I don't view myself as overweight, until I look in the mirror.

 

I used to be super skinny, and that's the way I view myself. I am always surprised that I can't squeeze through tight places.

 

I know what you mean! I am 3 stone / 42lbs heavier than I was last year (I was heavier than I am now the year before, and a lot of this years weight is muscle).

 

What's interesting is you say you are "overweight". There are plenty of other words to describe that, but you choose "overweight". I feel overweight too. I think that says a lot about what you think is the right weight for you to be carrying around. "Carrying around" - another reference to how I see it.

 

Going back to my earlier question, and without referencing what anyone else would do, would you date you?

 

I wouldn't date me. Not right now. That's why I am dieting and stepping up the exercise regime. To feel better about myself. If you're not happy with yourself, do something about it. Which you already have started, by starting this thread. Take credit for that. Reduce your calories, increase your activity, notice when you eat more.

 

I have over-eaten out of boredom, fear and during painful emotional times. So part of the answer has been, for me, to reduce boredom, confront fear and find better ways to process painful emotions.

[Eeyore79]

May I ask your height and weight? My partner is 6ft and weighs 210, but previously weighed 250, and I was attracted to him both before and after his weight loss. I'm 5ft7 and weigh 126, so I'm not overweight myself, but his weight has never really bothered me in a visual sense (though I'm happy he's losing weight for health reasons).

 

I will however admit that his weight and looks aren't a huge factor in my attraction to him. I like the way he dresses (his style fits my image of the sort of partner I want to be with), he's smart and talented and has a good career, we have fun together and have a lot of stuff in common, and he's very trustworthy and decent. Also I appreciate that he's making an effort to lose some weight, and to be frank I wouldn't swap all of his great qualities just to date someone slimmer.

[Dust]

Maybe a blind and death girl would be a good fit for you? Seriously though you don’t even ask women out so what are you complaining about? I remember the other day you were like “I’d love to meet a girl like you” in a thread. All I thought was that you’re all talk and wouldn’t make any move what so ever if you met a girl you really liked.

[SmileFace]

I was overweight as well.

Do you know what I did?

 

I stopped making excuses and lost weight.

 

My dating life went from zero to overload. It wasn't because I lost the weight but I gained confidence. You can be ripped and with no confidence and no love for yourself; you would be in the same place in life.

 

Get off of L.S and get your behind to the gym. I use to make the same excuse but I was on the computer for tons of hours a day. Now I spend 2 hours in the gym on my weight days and 1 hour on others. You have to do this for yourself. GOOD LUCK!

 

In regards to who date. I didnt date when I was overweight, since I never attracted the people I was attracted to.

[betterdeal]

Yoga is the bomb. Fact.

[Dust]

I have to eat my words.

 

I met a girl briefly today that was chubby, not obese but packing a few pounds.

 

I found her sexy as hell.

 

I think a girl who has an attractive face and carries her weight well would be attractive to me. No matter if she's overweight.

 

And I think I have an attractive face, so I think I could meet someone like that (this girl was taken, but I'm sure there are others.)

 

So did you flirt with this attractive girl you met? More importantly did you ask her out or make move?

[Queen Zenobia]

A.) She mentioned a husband

B.) I was with my mom, and I wasn't going to flirt with a girl in front of my mother!

 

Flirting is just friendly behavior with a bit of nuance and intrigue (and some humor). It's perfectly fine to talk to a girl around your mother. You already mentioned you have a bit of stage fright. This situation with the girl is an extension of that.

[Ruby Slippers]

The computer is my reprieve. I have movies, music, internet, ebooks, and video games on here. It's basically my whole entertainment system. Giving that up is hard, especially when I don't see myself being any better when I'm fit rather than I'm overweight. I'll still be shy and socially anxious, and I will still fear relationships.

Exercise is good for you for many reasons beyond appearance. You will be healthier, have more energy, feel better, sleep more soundly, be more able to do routine things like lift stuff and do things around the house, extract the nutrients from your food more effectively, improve your physical health inside and out, and improve your mood with the rushes of endorphins.

 

Even if all you do is take a half-hour walk or bike ride every day, start somewhere. Once you see the benefits, you will probably want to continue.

 

You're making excuses. You can come up with a million excuses and stay frozen. Or you can take action and start improving your life. Your choice.