What looks range should I logically go for, being average looking and overweight?

June 28, 2011

I have accepted that there are leagues, and I will never be good enough for the "hot girls." That being said, what looks range should I logically go for in women, since I'm not all that attractive looking?

June 28, 2011

You should go for average, overweight women.

June 28, 2011

You should go for average, overweight women.

They want hot guys.

June 28, 2011

They want hot guys.

What? Where do you get that from? That is not accurate.

June 28, 2011

I have accepted that there are leagues, and I will never be good enough for the "hot girls." That being said, what looks range should I logically go for in women, since I'm not all that attractive looking?

Maybe you should just stop focusing on looks and think more in terms of what personality type you like in women. Otherwise, it's probably going to come across that you're going for women only because you think they're in your league physically rather than because you find anything particularly positive about them. Which would make for a most depressing pairing.

June 28, 2011

What? Where do you get that from? That is not accurate.

The women who I am friends with, who are pushing 300 pounds, and have jock boyfriends.

June 28, 2011

I have accepted that there are leagues, and I will never be good enough for the "hot girls." That being said, what looks range should I logically go for in women, since I'm not all that attractive looking?

*sigh*...Look, leagues are relative, different people place different values on different things. A muscular looking athletic guy will not be attractive to a girl who likes guys with runners physiques. Similarly, a girl like me (an Arab) will not be attractive to a guy who likes tall blonds. And even then, looks aren't the sole contributor to how attractive someone is.

What you need to do is get involved in activities you enjoy and be social with people that you have things in common with (and even with people you don't). At some point of plugging away things should "click".

In the meantime you should really focus on making your life the best that it possibly can be (in terms of employment, ambition, education, etc.) but this should be done for your own happiness not to get women.

One question: are you ok with being overweight, or is it something that bothers you?

June 28, 2011

Your post is very interesting Lawmaker - considering your LS signature!

Have you ever considered addressing your beliefs about yourself?

You should go for women that you find attractive - average looks don't have to be an issue - unless you let them. If you're overweight, get yourself fit and healthy, make the most of yourself, improve your social skills etc - I know it's all been said before but it happens to be true.

You might never consider yourself 'hot' but you can definitely make yourself far more attractive than you currently believe yourself to be.

A happy, confident guy with a big bright smile, who knows how to treat a woman and make her feel good will set you head and shoulders above other guys - average looking and overweight or not.

June 28, 2011

As far as I'm concerned, you have to go for whom you're attracted to. I mean, it's wise to try to stay within a certain sphere socially similar to your own (if you're not the studly alpha male at the club, maybe don't go for the most blatant hottie). Trying to pick someone on the basis of "leagues," imo, is not right. If you're not attracted to her - even if she is similar to you in "hotness ranking" () and BMI, you will resent having been "required" to stay in your league.

That said, I hope you are attracted to women who are not necessarily displaying all the physical characteristics of media goddesses. It will go better for you.

And, how about eliminating "overweight" from your package of qualities. You'll be really happy about getting more fit, if you do, and you will gain a lot of confidence with the ladies and in many other ways as well. Work on it?

June 28, 2011

Haha! Little Tiger and I posted almost the identical advice, right at the same time. We are so wise!

June 28, 2011

You should go for average, overweight women.

Obvious answer is obvious.

A lot depends on your personality and status.

For example years ago, I worked with a guy that was kinda goofy looking and overweight, but he could bed 7's and 8's (give or take) just based on his super outgoing personality. He never came off as creepy.. just really approachable and friendly.

This particular guy didn't make a lot of money, so if you do, add that to the plus column.

What I'm saying is that, for guys, what you got looks-wise doesn't tell the whole story. I've seen some nice looking women with some screwed up lookin guys. Must have been something other than looks alone that attracted them.

I would keep all of this in mind.

A more cynical person might say that to get with hot chicks, unless you look like Adonis, you better be raking in some serious cash and/or have major clout.. but that's not always the case.

June 28, 2011

Usually, when people make these threads on here, they are projecting their own feelings onto the opposite gender. You're saying that they only want hot guys because you only want hot girls. And to be fair, a relationship is never going to work out for you if you're not attracted to the woman you are dating. Same for them.

And everyone in the world can find someone who will date them. I dumped a guy who (no exaggeration) was 400 lbs, had a 2-inch penis (balls that looked like two grapes stuck to his penis), refused to work (he was 25 years old), planned to pay all his bills by continuing to run from them, and never took showers (I could smell it.)

Now he's dating a girl that looks way out of his league to me. Because everyone can get a girlfriend. If that lose can get 3 girls to date him, one of which was in a relationship with him for a year and he dumped her, then you can get a girlfriend, too.

But to do it, he had to work his ass off asking out girls. So don't expect some girl to fall into your lap. Take risks. Receive rejections. And eventually you'll get one.

Edited June 28, 2011 by Enchanted Girl

June 28, 2011

I've really tried to get to the gym...however, I have so much to do that I never get there.

I lost more weight when living on my own. Unfortunately, I had to move back home recently, and that isn't very sexy.

I don't have an ugly face, but I have a huge beer belly, and skinny arms. I am working out with kettle weights, but I doubt that would build up muscle. I don't know anything about exercise, I hate to do it, so I never lifted weights before.

As far as "hot" vs "average", I don't find obesity to be attractive. I am attracted to skinny girls, who are pretty in the face and have good bodies. Yes, I know it's hypocritical, but I can't suddenly change what makes me hot. Nothing turns me off more than someone who is overweight.

June 28, 2011

Wow Enchanted, that's crazy!

But I have to say that my biggest problem is that I'm a shy and socially anxious male. I also have this thing called loveshyness, where I tend to be social around girls that I'm not attracted to, and not be able to talk (and blush beet red) around girls I AM attracted to. I've read the book by the psychologist who wrote it, and it fits me perfectly.

I am just trying to figure out how to get out of this funk, because, at 28, 99% of the male population have dated. I just don't understand why I have to be in the 1%.

June 28, 2011

Wow Enchanted, that's crazy!

But I have to say that my biggest problem is that I'm a shy and socially anxious male. I also have this thing called loveshyness, where I tend to be social around girls that I'm not attracted to, and not be able to talk (and blush beet red) around girls I AM attracted to. I've read the book by the psychologist who wrote it, and it fits me perfectly.

I am just trying to figure out how to get out of this funk, because, at 28, 99% of the male population have dated. I just don't understand why I have to be in the 1%.

The only way to get over shyness is through facing it constantly.

June 28, 2011

I've really tried to get to the gym...however, I have so much to do that I never get there.

I lost more weight when living on my own. Unfortunately, I had to move back home recently, and that isn't very sexy.

I don't have an ugly face, but I have a huge beer belly, and skinny arms. I am working out with kettle weights, but I doubt that would build up muscle. I don't know anything about exercise, I hate to do it, so I never lifted weights before.

As far as "hot" vs "average", I don't find obesity to be attractive. I am attracted to skinny girls, who are pretty in the face and have good bodies. Yes, I know it's hypocritical, but I can't suddenly change what makes me hot. Nothing turns me off more than someone who is overweight.

Well, you don't need me to tell you that much, if not most, of this is within your control. So the question becomes how badly to want to improve your physical appearance. Is it important enough to change your "league"? It may not be, everybody has different priorities. That said, self-improvement has a much greater likelihood of success if you're doing it for yourself and not for others.

If it improving your physical appearance IS important enough to do something about it, it's not that hard to get a grasp on the basics: diet and a mix of weights and cardio. The internet abounds with suggestions and techniques. The hard part is making diet and exercise a part of your lifestyle, if your anything like me at least. The trick is to have enough self-discipline to do it whether you want to or not, until it becomes a routine. You'll hit the point, probably fairly quickly, where you'll feel like crap if you miss a workout.

June 28, 2011

And everyone in the world can find someone who will date them. I dumped a guy who (no exaggeration) was 400 lbs, had a 2-inch penis (balls that looked like two grapes stuck to his penis), refused to work (he was 25 years old), planned to pay all his bills by continuing to run from them, and never took showers (I could smell it.)

Glad I wasn't eating. Not sure how you ladies put up with some of my fellow men.

Start hitting the gym lawmaker. I know its tough to get started and stay motivated, but nothing beats when you look in the mirror and see results for the first time. It will give you boatloads of confidence.

The % of guys who haven't dated is probably higher, most of them just aren't as willing to talk about it.

June 28, 2011

Oh man. Looks is not your problem at all. Your problem is that you have 0 game. So you know what you need to do? Get some game.

I can tell you right now that there is leagues but that they do not matter. Well they matter for woman but for guys if you are average they don't matter so much. I doubt any of the 300 pounds girls you know have jock boyfriends. And if you consider 300 pounds slightly overweight then you have some work ahead of you.

First of all stop worrying about leagues. When i was 360 pounds my sophomore year of high school i was going out with a girl who was easily a 9. I am really tall and i have muscles so 360 pounds is only chubby for me but the point is i sure didn't have a six pack. Girls don't care about that. If you are a fun person a girl will like you for that. So get past your looks and go hit on girls that YOU LIKE. We can't tell you what kind of girls you should hit on. And you shouldn't be hitting on girls just because you think they will say yes. You should hit on girls that you actually want to get with.

You using your looks as an excuse is stupid. You know damn well the reason you don't have a girlfriend right now is because you can't talk to woman. So learn to talk to woman. I learned to talk to woman by talking to every girl that i met. Yup every single one. Whether i liked her or not i was hitting on her. Fast forwards 4 years and i have no problem talking to any girl. And even if i am super shy on the inside i just act natural on the outside and it works for me. It will work for you too.

And as far as getting fit goes you need to just do it. Not being able to go to the gym is not an excuse. I hardly go to the gym anymore and i have a nice physique. There is roads for you to run on. You can do pushups. You can jump rope. You can eat less junk and drink less beer. And yes a kettlebell does build muscle. I know a little bit about nutrition so if you really want some help with that you can pm me and i can tell you what you need to do.

June 28, 2011

I am attracted to skinny girls, who are pretty in the face and have good bodies.

Um, yeah, so is every other guy.

If this is the only kind of girl you can be attracted to, dating will difficult to impossible for you. You will be competing with very attractive, outgoing men with good jobs because you just described the physical ideal for men who are not average or overweight.

Sorry, but if you're dreaming that some hot girl is going to fall in love with you based on personality, think again. There are plenty of hot guys with great personalities. I'm not trying to be mean, but you're not being realistic.

June 28, 2011

or how about this:

You want the hot skinny chicks but your a beer belly, skinny arms kinda socially awkward fella.

There is one sure fire way to eliminate all of that, but it will require work and dedication. There isn't anything worthwhile in life that comes easy.

If you join a gym, start working out, and try perhaps a healthier diet, it will be a difficult life change. But if you tough it out, as your body changes, so too will your confidence. One will feed into the other and you will be trimmer, better looking and less socially awkward.

But it will take effort, and a life-changing commitment. Will it be worth it? How bad do you want to date skinny girls with nice bodies that are cute in the face like you said?

You might still score one without all the effort, but I'm sure your chances will be much greater if you do some self improvement.

There. That's what it will take. Up to you to decide if it's worth it to you or not.

June 28, 2011

And everyone in the world can find someone who will date them. I dumped a guy who (no exaggeration) was 400 lbs, had a 2-inch penis (balls that looked like two grapes stuck to his penis), refused to work (he was 25 years old), planned to pay all his bills by continuing to run from them, and never took showers (I could smell it.)

Why would you possibly date somebody like him?

I just don't get it. Compared to him I'm a Greek god and I can't get anybody to be more than my friend. I don't know how many years its been since I kissed a girl.

June 28, 2011

Um, yeah, so is every other guy.

If this is the only kind of girl you can be attracted to, dating will difficult to impossible for you. You will be competing with very attractive, outgoing men with good jobs because you just described the physical ideal for men who are not average or overweight.

Sorry, but if you're dreaming that some hot girl is going to fall in love with you based on personality, think again. There are plenty of hot guys with great personalities. I'm not trying to be mean, but you're not being realistic.

I call BS. I know ugly dudes with skinny good looking girls. First of all looks are in the eye of the beholder. What i find ugly law maker may find good looking. Second of all woman are more likely to look past looks then a guy. I see beautiful woman with fat or just plain weird looking dudes everyday of the week. Most average men that have a personality have no problem getting a girl who is out of there league.

June 28, 2011

Haha! Little Tiger and I posted almost the identical advice, right at the same time. We are so wise!

Haha! We are indeed Mme. C!

(.....and with wisdom comes wrinkles! )

June 28, 2011

I call BS. I know ugly dudes with skinny good looking girls. First of all looks are in the eye of the beholder. What i find ugly law maker may find good looking. Second of all woman are more likely to look past looks then a guy. I see beautiful woman with fat or just plain weird looking dudes everyday of the week. Most average men that have a personality have no problem getting a girl who is out of there league.

There's no denying that hot girls with good bodies are generally in high demand. There will be competition. To get someone above average, the OP would have to be above average in some way (and he might be, I don't know).

June 28, 2011

Oh man. Looks is not your problem at all. Your problem is that you have 0 game. So you know what you need to do? Get some game.

I can tell you right now that there is leagues but that they do not matter. Well they matter for woman but for guys if you are average they don't matter so much. I doubt any of the 300 pounds girls you know have jock boyfriends. And if you consider 300 pounds slightly overweight then you have some work ahead of you.

First of all stop worrying about leagues. When i was 360 pounds my sophomore year of high school i was going out with a girl who was easily a 9. I am really tall and i have muscles so 360 pounds is only chubby for me but the point is i sure didn't have a six pack. Girls don't care about that. If you are a fun person a girl will like you for that. So get past your looks and go hit on girls that YOU LIKE. We can't tell you what kind of girls you should hit on. And you shouldn't be hitting on girls just because you think they will say yes. You should hit on girls that you actually want to get with.

You using your looks as an excuse is stupid. You know damn well the reason you don't have a girlfriend right now is because you can't talk to woman. So learn to talk to woman. I learned to talk to woman by talking to every girl that i met. Yup every single one. Whether i liked her or not i was hitting on her. Fast forwards 4 years and i have no problem talking to any girl. And even if i am super shy on the inside i just act natural on the outside and it works for me. It will work for you too.

And as far as getting fit goes you need to just do it. Not being able to go to the gym is not an excuse. I hardly go to the gym anymore and i have a nice physique. There is roads for you to run on. You can do pushups. You can jump rope. You can eat less junk and drink less beer. And yes a kettlebell does build muscle. I know a little bit about nutrition so if you really want some help with that you can pm me and i can tell you what you need to do.

I really like this post.

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What looks range should I logically go for, being average looking and overweight?

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