valente26 Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 (edited) ok ill try to keep this short here goes me and my gf of nearly 4 years finished about 5 weeks ago, the 3rd week of may, it was her decision she had been off with me for for a few months, since about feburary. 1 night in feb we had a 9 hour conversation in the car which she told me she wasnt happy but loved me and wanted to make things work it ended in us agreeing its over. i got out of the car and went in my house i looked out the window and she hadnt left yet so i went outside asked her y and she said she cant leave she loves me too much so she ended up sleeping n we agreed to give it another shot. in the next 2 weeks she starts working in a bar which i initially hated but got used to we celecbrated our birthdays together and all was going good. then in april i find out that back in janurary she sent topless pictures of herself to sum guy for £50. i was devastated and dumped her, she begged and begged to forgive her sayin she was depressed and broke and she was stupid, i love her so i took her back. then 3 weeks later she tells me she doesnt want to be with me anymore as she think i cheated on her a few years ago and doesnt trust me anymore. i beg and beg her not to leave me as i didnt cheat on her but she doesnt believe me. i take flowers to her house 1 day she says its sweet as i leave i say i love her always and she says the same back. then i come home from work and shes in the kitchen with my mum, mu mumasks her if she wants to to give it another go with me and she says no. i go in tell her i heard that and can she give me 5 mins to say gdbye to her. she agrees we talk for 3 hours ending with me crying saying goodbye and she says be strong and if i love her i would truly know what she wants. 3 days later i write a 16 page letter expressing all my feelings for her i give it to her on her doorstep we talk for about 10 mins i kiss her passionatly and we hold hands and i leave. next day i get an email from her which is a photo of me and this girl from about 2 and half years ago just posing thats it and she writes 'this is u all along'! i bombard her with texts, emails phone calls telling her i didnt do anything, 4 days later she blocks me on fb, changes her number and gives me no contact. i wait outside of her work twice but leaves before she comes out but it gets back to her that i did. 1 week later i walk out of a bar and there she is drunk kissing another guy that she works with i ask her why and she says cuz ive been horrible to her for a year but in that year i took her on holiday, bought her an ipad and really tried to change for her. so she tells me to **** off and leave her alone! that was 1 month ago it would of been our 4 year anniversary. ive seen her out a few times but never said anything to her she has always been with her work mates mostly guys. need advice guys i feel as though im getting there does no contact really work? sorry for writing loads Edited June 28, 2011 by valente26
Author valente26 Posted June 28, 2011 Author Posted June 28, 2011 please help me any advice as to what i should do
Jdw_Icequeen Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 There is nothing you can do.. I know you want the magical answer as your heart broken. I think she has made it clear at this point she dosen't want you back. That dosen't mean there is no chance of ever getting back together. But calling her texting her and stalking her is going to make her run away even faster and further. The only thing you can do now is leave her alone. There is no perfect fix for a broken relationship.. You need to work on yourself now and do your own thing. I know this isn't what you want to hear. I know it sucks to be in this much pain. But I promise you one day at a time and you will find a silver lining without her.. So yes NC is the best thing for you at this point and it will help, at the beginning its really rough and seems to get harder before getting better. But yes it will get better!
Author valente26 Posted June 28, 2011 Author Posted June 28, 2011 thanks i have been no contact for 4 nearly 4 weeks now since the night i saw her with that guy, i checked her fb a few times but not for the last few days i used my friends but im not going to anymore i really appreciate the advice its hard though
TheHurtProcess Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 Yes. NC works if you're looking to heal. I wouldn't trust it as far as trying to make your ex miss you and/or want to come back to you. It sounds to me like she's made up her mind to move on, get out there, live her life and experiment so to speak. Therefore, It doesn't sound as if she's going to be coming back and if she does, it most likely isn't going to happen any time soon. We're probably talking many months to even years down the road. She probably accused you of cheating as a result of her guilt. I wouldn't doubt it if she was the one cheating all along and used her accusations as a means of removing any guilt as well as justifying what she most likely did. You sound like a good guy and you definitely deserve someone who isn't going to treat you this way. Do yourself a favor and don't bother with her. Leave this one be. She's not worth it at all my friend.
Author valente26 Posted June 28, 2011 Author Posted June 28, 2011 its amazing how much sense people talk on here i should of come on here weeks ago. im not gonna contact her now dont get me wrong im no saint but thanks for your advice ill be taking it
TheHurtProcess Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 its amazing how much sense people talk on here i should of come on here weeks ago. im not gonna contact her now dont get me wrong im no saint but thanks for your advice ill be taking it No problem. I'm glad I could help. Anytime.
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