mo mo Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 I have run into this situation wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too many times. I have to know what the heck is going on. Typical scenario that I am referring to. Girl sees guy around at work. Both people are rather friendly and easy to get along with. Guy notices girl is kinda quiet/shy around him, one day he decides to talk to her, about any random topic, hoping to break the ice. She responds favorably, shows that she is gracious of the attention, and it seems the ice has been broken between the two. A few days pass, guy sees girl again, she is all quiet and shy again.. as if the two do not know each other at all WTF?????????????????????
Nexus One Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 If their personality is 'shy and quiet', then breaking the ice is not necessarily going to change that, as 'shy and quiet' is the default state of their personality. It's possible that the ice needs to be broken more than once for her to be become more comfortable around you in general.
TheCoolest Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 If their personality is 'shy and quiet', then breaking the ice is not necessarily going to change that, as 'shy and quiet' is the default state of their personality. It's possible that the ice needs to be broken more than once for her to be become more comfortable around you in general. ^^ This. Sometimes people are shy because they just don't know you. And if you talk to them once then they stop being shy. But if someone is naturally shy/socially awkward then they are probably too scared to talk to you or act familiar with you? Solution: Make a joke out of it. Thats what i do anyway. The next time you see her and she is acting like she doesn't know you say something like "Oh so you forgot who i am already." Or something like that. That will get it into her head that you want to talk to her and she will feel obligated to talk to you everytime she sees you.
Author mo mo Posted June 28, 2011 Author Posted June 28, 2011 If their personality is 'shy and quiet', then breaking the ice is not necessarily going to change that, as 'shy and quiet' is the default state of their personality. It's possible that the ice needs to be broken more than once for her to be become more comfortable around you in general. Ok, but what if the person in question is actually very popular and known for being super friendly with everyone else BUT the guy. The guy goes through the process described above and she is still shy around him and him only. She's all hugs and kisses with everyone else but barely acknowledges guy. You can't say being shy and quiet is her personality then.
Author mo mo Posted June 28, 2011 Author Posted June 28, 2011 ah ha... this is a complex question isn't it? Put your thinking caps on LS!
LadyFlame Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 It's quite obvious to me what this means because the exact same thing has been happening to me. There's a guy at work I really fancy, and though we might talk (it will be him who does the 'ice-breaking' thing like sending me a funny email or talking to me about something) and I'll be perfectly friendly back, the ice will return afterwards. This is because I find him really attractive and don't want him to know. That's obviously how your girl feels about you. The important question is, how do you feel about her? I ask because I need to know what this guy at work thinks of me!
Author mo mo Posted June 29, 2011 Author Posted June 29, 2011 It's quite obvious to me what this means because the exact same thing has been happening to me. There's a guy at work I really fancy, and though we might talk (it will be him who does the 'ice-breaking' thing like sending me a funny email or talking to me about something) and I'll be perfectly friendly back, the ice will return afterwards. This is because I find him really attractive and don't want him to know. That's obviously how your girl feels about you. The important question is, how do you feel about her? I ask because I need to know what this guy at work thinks of me! Well.. one girl in particular is really really really cute but she is kinda young for me. Still tho, I'd like to be chill with her. Another girl this happened with I wasn't totally attracted to, but she seemed nice. This other girl it happened with seemed cool at first but she turned out to be bitchy so I kinda poo poo'd on her.
LadyFlame Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 Well.. one girl in particular is really really really cute but she is kinda young for me. Still tho, I'd like to be chill with her. Another girl this happened with I wasn't totally attracted to, but she seemed nice. This other girl it happened with seemed cool at first but she turned out to be bitchy so I kinda poo poo'd on her. So what do you reckon? Because to be honest I'm only interested in sleeping with this guy. He does seem to try and chat to me every now and then, not sure if he feels I'm aloof or whatever.
Author mo mo Posted June 29, 2011 Author Posted June 29, 2011 So what do you reckon? Because to be honest I'm only interested in sleeping with this guy. He does seem to try and chat to me every now and then, not sure if he feels I'm aloof or whatever. How come u don't want him to know?? And umm I'm only interested in sleeping with the young one
LadyFlame Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 How come u don't want him to know?? And umm I'm only interested in sleeping with the young one Because the thought of rejection is so horrifying to me I'd probably quit the job - and I am NOT the type who runs away! This guy is 31 and I'm 24. Only he is attractive and he knows it. So do you find yourself ever ignoring the young one coz she's ignoring you?
Author mo mo Posted June 29, 2011 Author Posted June 29, 2011 Because the thought of rejection is so horrifying to me I'd probably quit the job - and I am NOT the type who runs away! This guy is 31 and I'm 24. Only he is attractive and he knows it. So do you find yourself ever ignoring the young one coz she's ignoring you? yes. i do. I think you know all about this game.. haha
LadyFlame Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 yes. i do. I think you know all about this game.. haha But even though you're ignoring her, you do like her:laugh: This is what's so annoying; I am not intentionally ignoring him but I find him in my line of focus, therefore I have to block him out. Then I find it extremely annoying that he's ignoring me. And then there'll be the occasion where he might say something to me, and we'll laugh, then there's silence and it goes right back to how it was!
Author mo mo Posted June 29, 2011 Author Posted June 29, 2011 But even though you're ignoring her, you do like her:laugh: This is what's so annoying; I am not intentionally ignoring him but I find him in my line of focus, therefore I have to block him out. Then I find it extremely annoying that he's ignoring me. And then there'll be the occasion where he might say something to me, and we'll laugh, then there's silence and it goes right back to how it was! hahahahahahahaha yeaaa isn't it whack?? You know you just wanna say "hey, you know what? we should ****!" But those words can't come out!! Ok another question. Do you get surprised if you're intentionally blocking him out and he talks to you?
spiderowl Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 One reason could be that she likes you and is shy because of that. If that's the case, then it's great when the ice is broken but unfortunately some guys don't follow up and show that they are interested in more than a brief chat. This may be where things are stalling. She could be waiting for you to indicate you really do like her and weren't just whiling away a few minutes talking to some woman. To do this, you'd need to take the initiative to start up another conversation and then see where it goes. If she seems very happy with that, then it's best to take the opportunity to get contact details as this shows you are interested and avoids the pitfall of never crossing from 'guy she sees at work', or wherever, to friend and possibly lover. Someone has to build the bridge!
Author mo mo Posted June 30, 2011 Author Posted June 30, 2011 One reason could be that she likes you and is shy because of that. If that's the case, then it's great when the ice is broken but unfortunately some guys don't follow up and show that they are interested in more than a brief chat. This may be where things are stalling. She could be waiting for you to indicate you really do like her and weren't just whiling away a few minutes talking to some woman. To do this, you'd need to take the initiative to start up another conversation and then see where it goes. If she seems very happy with that, then it's best to take the opportunity to get contact details as this shows you are interested and avoids the pitfall of never crossing from 'guy she sees at work', or wherever, to friend and possibly lover. Someone has to build the bridge! Point taken. Sucks sometimes though cuz the timing isn't right.
thatone Posted June 30, 2011 Posted June 30, 2011 Because the thought of rejection is so horrifying to me I'd probably quit the job - and I am NOT the type who runs away! This guy is 31 and I'm 24. Only he is attractive and he knows it. So do you find yourself ever ignoring the young one coz she's ignoring you? another 20 something year old woman desperately in need of hearing her first "no".
Author mo mo Posted June 30, 2011 Author Posted June 30, 2011 IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN!! with someone else ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh moral of the story: i have learned nothing.
Author mo mo Posted July 1, 2011 Author Posted July 1, 2011 I think it's funny how threads like these get little attention. I'm basically asking for a little push in the right direction here and I will pursue my opportunities on my own. The threads where people go on about thinking they are unattractive, or how they are crazy, or how they don't think they will ever date get much much much much much more attention.
LadyFlame Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 hahahahahahahaha yeaaa isn't it whack?? You know you just wanna say "hey, you know what? we should ****!" But those words can't come out!! Ok another question. Do you get surprised if you're intentionally blocking him out and he talks to you? I'm not sure, trying to think of a time that's happened. To be honest, I made a moron of myself yesterday in front of him (didn't hit on him, thank god) and had a few drinks and asked him out for one and he was like, not tonight. So blatantly he's not interested in me; guess I read the signals wrong!
Author mo mo Posted July 5, 2011 Author Posted July 5, 2011 The plot thickens.... I went out with this girl I work with a while ago. We seemed to get along great, but things kinda fell apart after that first date because she had some personal issues at the time.. and also because of her lack of maturity. So I saw her at the mall on Friday. We talked for a few minutes, she was all happy to see me and giggly and all that. We eventually went our separate ways, but later on I texted her saying she looked really good. She thanked me, said it was cool to run into me, etc. She saw me at work the other day, and it was obvious she had her eyes on me because I did not notice her. I looked up real quick and saw her looking, then she put her head down and kept walking. WHAT THE HELL this chick has been in my house already. Whyyy is she acting like this.
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