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My suspicions were confirmed! Had an ultimate moment of clarity.

Mr. Savage

By Mr. Savage
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Mr. Savage Established Member

Mr. Savage

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Here is the original post.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t284525/

 

 

 

My suspicions were confirmed. It was another guy from work. Today I saw him open the door for her and she got in when they were leaving. This after she strung me along for 2 months and I told her I would give her space and wait for her after she asked me too!

 

When I saw him open that door and watched her get in my heart dropped to my stomach. I felt like the most worthless person in the world. This feeling lasted a couple hours until I started really looking at the relationship from an outside perspective and then everything came into light. It has been her selfishness all along that has been the root cause of everything. The one fight we had in a 4 month period she held over my head for the 2 months of our time apart. I was made to feel like the biggest ******* ever so she could play the victim. She has been hoping the whole time I would be the one to finally say "we are totally over" but I would not. I put the ball in her court because she wanted the break but she would not just come out and say "It's over" because then she would NOT be the victim, I would.

When all this dawned on me it was like clouds parting and sunshine coming through. I did not feel angry, depressed, or anything. I just felt at peace with the whole situation. I am totally ready to move on. I don't think she knows I know yet. And I am keeping NC because I just don't care anymore. I did put a quote on Facebook from one of my favorite movies Cast Away with Tom Hanks:

 

"And I know what I gotta do now.... gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise, who knows what the tide could bring. ;-)"

 

I kept saying this over and over to myself at work today and it really cheered me up. I just wish she could of come straight out with it and saved me 2 months of agony over what I thought was "wrong with me". No one who can be that selfish deserves me.

 

I'm not in a happy go lucky mood right now. It's just a calm, serene mood still fully aware of all the **** that happened. It will still take some time I think to get out and start playing the field again but I am totally at peace with my thoughts and actions right now. Just wanted to share with you guys. It can get better!

Geya Established Member

Geya

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I'm glad you came to that conclusion finally, it's true when we look at our relationship from an outer perspective and with objectivity we can process everything and everything will make sense, now you know your relationship wasn't perfect and she's so not worth it, and now you finally have the chance to be with someone who is much better than that and will make you feel much better, I'm glad you seem to have got closure, keep moving upward :D

Legacy1 Member

Legacy1

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The only place now left to go my friend is Up up up! You have reached the bottom...keep saying that quote to yourself if it works and if you feel any need to vent etc...we are all here for you! If I may suggest?...listen to the song "3 little birds" by Bob Marley...it helps me and that is my message to you you you!

Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

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Opened the door to what? The door to the building? Open the door to her car, or her getting into his car? And is his car the same car that you seen in her driveway?

 

Well, I think that I safely say that there's a strong possibility that she may contact in the future. I believe you stated that you two work in the same building? If this is the case, the rumor mill will kick in about him and her dating and once this comes to her attention. SHe may contact you to "feel you out" to see if you heard anything and to have her "I didn't lie, we're just friends" speech ready. Because no one like to be caught in a lie.

lalalandman Established Member

lalalandman

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Pfff see I friggin told you!! She's a liar. Like most dumpers. Plus she's going through the pangs of divorce, so she's trying to feed her hungry ego by using as many dudes as she can. It's laughable. Now you can sit back and enjoy knowing she's a big fat FAIL. She's dumb and insecure. Good riddance

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Mr. Savage Established Member

Mr. Savage

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He was opening the door for her to his car which is the one parked at her house all weekend and she got in. I've never seen her ride with anyone to work before, she's always drove herself.

I don't even think I will answer her if she contacts me trying to explain anything. But knowing her she will have an elaborate story of why he stayed over 2 nights and then drove you to work monday and opens the door for you to get in. I don't need any of this anymore, it makes no difference to me now.

TheHurtProcess Established Member

TheHurtProcess

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Opened the door to what? The door to the building? Open the door to her car, or her getting into his car? And is his car the same car that you seen in her driveway?

 

Well, I think that I safely say that there's a strong possibility that she may contact in the future. I believe you stated that you two work in the same building? If this is the case, the rumor mill will kick in about him and her dating and once this comes to her attention. SHe may contact you to "feel you out" to see if you heard anything and to have her "I didn't lie, we're just friends" speech ready. Because no one like to be caught in a lie.

 

Ok bro...

 

If you analyze this sentence, you can safely assume that one of his co-worker's was holding the door for her as she was getting in his car.

 

"Today I saw him open the door for her and she got in when they were leaving."

 

If you read his first post, you'll see that he and his ex work together.

 

Therefore, if you put two and two together, you can then assume that she was trying to hide the fact that she was dating one of his and her co-workers.

 

I totally agree with what you said in the second paragraph. It seems to happen like that much too often.

TheHurtProcess Established Member

TheHurtProcess

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He was opening the door for her to his car which is the one parked at her house all weekend and she got in. I've never seen her ride with anyone to work before, she's always drove herself.

I don't even think I will answer her if she contacts me trying to explain anything. But knowing her she will have an elaborate story of why he stayed over 2 nights and then drove you to work monday and opens the door for you to get in. I don't need any of this anymore, it makes no difference to me now.

 

Totally beat me to the punch there brother.

 

And I think you're making the right choice... Don't pine over someone who can pull that on you. They're not worth your efforts. That's where I'm at. Minus her showing up at my door, on her knees, crying, begging for me to come back is going to get no response whatsoever.

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Mr. Savage Established Member

Mr. Savage

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lalala she is an EXCEPTIONAL liar. She even gets all emotional and teary eyed when telling lies so you really believe it's true. Me being the nice guy I am bought it hook line and sinker, as most guys that know her do.

 

But all in all I do not wish her ill fate. I just don't care. If anything I hope down the road she can look at herself and realize who she is and work on fixing it. I almost feel sorry for the dude she's with now cause I GUARANTEE he goes through the same bull down the road.

TheHurtProcess Established Member

TheHurtProcess

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lalala she is an EXCEPTIONAL liar. She even gets all emotional and teary eyed when telling lies so you really believe it's true. Me being the nice guy I am bought it hook line and sinker, as most guys that know her do.

 

But all in all I do not wish her ill fate. I just don't care. If anything I hope down the road she can look at herself and realize who she is and work on fixing it. I almost feel sorry for the dude she's with now cause I GUARANTEE he goes through the same bull down the road.

 

No doubt!!! No doubt at all. He will... Guaranteed!!!

lalalandman Established Member

lalalandman

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To ALL current dumpees lurking on LS. Let this thread be your guide. Obviously it doesn't apply to everyone, but I'd say about 90% it does. Trust your instincts.

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Mr. Savage Established Member

Mr. Savage

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Very true Lala! I can't believe how blind I was. How much defending I did for her to others. It really took rock bottom for me to see this but I'm glad I have.

TheHurtProcess Established Member

TheHurtProcess

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To ALL current dumpees lurking on LS. Let this thread be your guide. Obviously it doesn't apply to everyone, but I'd say about 90% it does. Trust your instincts.

 

Oh yes, I agree. If only I had trusted my instincts a few years ago, I wouldn't be in this mess right now. Then again, I would have most likely taken a different window of opportunity and I'd be here crying over some other girl anyway.

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