youaretheone Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 My girlfriend of 3 months started saying things that give me the hint that she might want to move in together. Some of them are: - When she is saying goodbye, she hugs me and says "I wish you could be at my place all the time and I could always hug you." - Out of a sudden, she starts telling me about her conversation with a close friend asking her if we have been already living together or not. - Once she told me it would be great if I moved in with her for one week. There are some issues I am concerned about. Firstly, she pays 4 times the rent I am paying right now and if I move in with her and we share the expenses, I won't be able to afford paying for half of the rent. Secondly, even though we have a nice relationship going on, I am afraid that we will be tired of each other, seeing each other every day. Seeing that we miss each other a lot more and have more to talk if we don't meet for a longer time, I worry that this "magic" will vanish. I am also a bit independent type of guy that needs some alone time for himself and I get the feeling that I won't be able to have it if we move in together. Even though I feel that it would be great to live with her and seeing her more often, I have some concerns to address to make sure before I can comfortably move in with her. I would like to hear your experiences or thoughts on this. It will help a lot.
kiss_andmakeup Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 3 months is too soon to move in together, IMO. I would never feel comfortable moving in with someone I've only known for that long. Expenses give you an easy out. Simply say, "I would love it too, but I really can't afford it right now. Besides, I think that would be moving a little too fast...let's get to know each other better first."
vsmini Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 3 months is way too soon. Not to mention - it's always ideal if a couple can both relocate to a new apartment so it doesn't feel like you're just moving into her place. You might always feel like it's never really yours. Tell her it's too soon. Living together is basically the step before marriage for a lot of women. For many it's just a tiny, eensy-weensy step before engagement. Better make sure everything is all out on the table before moving in happens.
make me believe Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 First, I don't think those comments necessarily mean that she wants you guys to move in together. When I was dating my now-husband I used to say things like "I wish I could see you all the time!" but it was more a sentiment of wanting to spend time together, not actually living together (which he knew I wouldn't do until we were engaged). Second, it is WAY WAY WAY too soon for you guys to be thinking about moving in together!! 3 months is absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things. I agree with vsmini that many women see moving in together as the step before getting married. I guess nowadays a lot of people treat moving in together pretty casually, but I think usually it's in the back of a woman's mind that this is a big step and engagement is the next step.
Author youaretheone Posted June 29, 2011 Author Posted June 29, 2011 I was wondering, when do you decide that you want to live with her? I have seen many of my friends that live together with bf/gf without the intent of getting married. What makes you decide that?
oaks Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 I was wondering, when do you decide that you want to live with her? I have seen many of my friends that live together with bf/gf without the intent of getting married. What makes you decide that? It just feels right (or not). Of course it also helps to talk about it with her, which it doesn't sound like you have otherwise you'd know if those were hints or not.
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