OldOnTheInside Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 It boils down to my low self-esteem because I validate my worth through the number of men I could get. Why do people who know that they have issues, feel the need to drag others down with them when they can avoid it? Please go see counselling or therapy or something OP. Better than hurting your bf, and then hurting yourself with the "bad boys". My advice...
robf1971 Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 Also a lot of men have a skewed belief of what a good guy is. It's perfectly possible to be a good man and still not let anyone walk all over you. Yep, Why do men associate standing up to for themselves with being a jerk? It took my wife almost leaving for me to realise this. I used to be yes dear, no dear, 3 bags full dear. It's quite possible to call them out on their BS without being nasty.
Mimolicious Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 Hi all, pls don't berate me, I know I'm in the wrong and I'm looking for some advice. My bf is a truly wonderful guy who loves me with all his heart and put me above everything else. However, because he keeps giving in to me, I feel that he's not manly enough. He also doesn't have many friends and so he needs a lot of attention from me. On the other hand, I'm the only child who lives abroad so I value a lot of personal space and time. There's also one thing that keeps sticking to my mind. On some occassions, he woke up in the morning and told me "Dear, it's hard, it's painful (u know what i'm referring to), won't you help me?", when I don't feel like making love... I feel that's a huge turn-off. Before suggesting that I call it off with him, is there anything that we can do? I don't think there's such a thing as perfect compatibility, so I'm sure every relationship has its own problems. I place this thread under "infidelity" because I dream of seducing other guys and I'm afraid I may cheat on him. Some of you may feel like calling me a stupid b*tch or immature or ugly, but I'm really struggling and I would appreciate any advice. I think I've gotta add that it gives me a thrill to hunt a "bad boy", someone opposite of my bf. It boils down to my low self-esteem because I validate my worth through the number of men I could get. In all honesty, yes, that's how wretched I am... Whoa! Babygirl... Those "bad boys" are exactly what someone with your low self-esteem (your own words) should be running away from. They will bury you way deeper than you want to be. A person like the "BF" that you are describing, may be chicken soup for your soul. You really want to pass on a man that will treat you with respect, love, kindness and wants to make love to you to get with a guy that can cheat, abuse and treat you like a piece of a$$???????? What is this world coming to? Think about it. One day you may be in a REALLY facked up R and regret going after your "wild" side. Every R has it's own problems but when you don't find the person that you are with to be of your taste, then doesn't seem to be like there is much compatibility there. What exactly are you getting out of this R then?
Mimolicious Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 Yeah, that's the term. Alpha male! Why are they so attractive??? I've been with such guys and left hurt, disappointed. So why the hell am I still so drawn to them?? I agree with u completely. I'm selfish. And I still do think I'm a sociopath.. Because you have issues... it's not like you have a magnet that attracts these "alpha-males" to you or you to them. It comes down to looking for validation, in all the wrong places. If you can afford therapy then get some, you will be doing yourself a favor. Otherwise, you will go from one bad relationship to the next, broken.
Sh0t Posted July 2, 2011 Posted July 2, 2011 OP is at least consistent. All of her threads and posts about her bf are similar. She stays with him though, probably because despite not being good enough for her tastes, he's probably the best she can do. From her other posts, it seems like op is not an attractive woman, and has trouble attracting the kind of men she really wants. She also has been having career issues, so all of this is hitting her at once. She holds on to this bf because he is nice and would do anything for her.
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alexandria35 Posted July 3, 2011 Posted July 3, 2011 OP is at least consistent. All of her threads and posts about her bf are similar. She stays with him though, probably because despite not being good enough for her tastes, he's probably the best she can do. From her other posts, it seems like op is not an attractive woman, and has trouble attracting the kind of men she really wants. She also has been having career issues, so all of this is hitting her at once. She holds on to this bf because he is nice and would do anything for her. OP I too have taken a look at some of your other posts and it seems that you are actually revolted by your bf. You have posted in several threads about how fat and digusting you find him and it's clear you have no feelings of respect or attraction for him so I don't know what you are doing with him. You don't love him so please let him go. Move out of his mothers house and get yourself a life instead of endlessly complaining about the one you have.
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