Is it abnormal to be single for 10yrs, no dating, no sex?

[DoubleRainbow]

I am 39, well placed,smart and attractive woman.People say that do not look more than 30 in age. I have two teenage kids.

The only guy I ever dated(and had sex with) was my husband who passed away 10 years ago.No flings or hookups at all, of any kind!( Our marriage was not that great,

so

its not that I miss him

so

much that I cannot think of replacing him ever)After that, I was busy putting my life together, emotionally & financially, I really worked very hard to achieve what I have now..I am doing very good,I am very happy with the life I have now.

Yea, I do miss the companionship sometimes, I don't have a shoulder to cry on, I don't have a partner to pamper me, care for me etc..But when I think about the cost this may come with( my freedom, giving explainations for every thing u do, other emotional harrassment), I feel that I am better off the way I am. Also, for me

I need to love someone to be able to have sex with him

...All these one-night-stands or

fwb

...I do not validate and am complete disagreement with!

Some people around me keep telling me that I am abnormal...how come you survived without sex 10 years, that high time that you start going to some dating sites and try find a partner. (I do like someone, single and 40, at work, but probably he is not that into me)

I had been reading posts on ENA for the past few days and am

so

horrified to see how people get involved in sex (emotions too) and then the other does not know what he/she wants. I would be shattered if this were to happen to me.

I request input from you guys what you think about my situation. Thanks!!

[PinkInTheLimo]

No, you are not abnormal. As a matter of fact, in my book your are normal because you don't want superficial relationships.

 

In 2001 I was dumped by my then boyfriend. I was 37 at the time. After that I was single for 7 years. Met some men via dating sites but noone with whom things went further. So it was just one or a couple of dates, totally platonic, no hug, a kiss on the cheek, no sex. I missed physical intimacy but did not want to have it outside of a loving relationship. Since 2008, I have had 2 relationships and twice the guy turned out to be a liar. Now I am single again since more than a year, and for god knows how long. So again no hug, no kiss, no sex. And yes I miss it very much but I need to know someone better before I can engage in intimate physical contact, that's the way I am. It bugs the hell out of me to read the topics from men whose wives don't want to have sex with them because if I would have a partner, I sure as hell would make up for all these years without. Can't imagine not wanting to be intimate with a man I love...

 

I am an intelligent and attractive woman, looking good for my age (46), slim, active, sweet, warm. I have a profile on a dating site but few men seem to be interested in me and few awake my interest. I tend to need a lot of time to develop a crush on someone and that's difficult for people on datingsites because it all has to go very fast. At the same time, real life offers me little opportunities to get to know available men. My colleagues are either married or gay, and no one introduces me to available men either. And I've heard from people that they thought I was with someone, probably because I don't look like a desperate single woman.

 

I have to say that I have also become very careful with age because I have learnt that not all people take relationships as serious as I do. Would have saved me a lot of heartbreak if I would have known that before. I really want to know if someone is a decent person before getting involved with him.

[Lisa_H]

It doesn't make you abnormal - in fact, I think it makes you very strong and capable.

 

People just aren't used to seeing a woman with as much confidence as you. If you are happy with your life - then why question it.

 

However, if you are looking to get into a relationship there are several things you can do to learn to attract the right kind of person for you.

 

There are lots of women I am sure that look up to you and your independence!

[migoly]

I wouldn't worry about it. It could be worse, you could end up with someone you are not happy with!