timber888 Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 ok so here's a quick rundown of my situation. Dated this girl for a great 2 years. 6 months or so ago we broke up, there were some ****ty things going on in my life and I latched on to her and became real clingy. Since then we've still been seeing eachother a lot/sleeping together, but it seemed her feelings were fading and I was starting to get taken for granted. I managed to stop contacting her all together, but found it hard to resist when she would call me for sex or the occasional hang out. Sometimes it would seem like old times, sometimes it would seem off. I was having trouble getting her off the pedestal and not catering to her too much. A couple times I tried to break it off and told her I couldn't do the "friends" thing anymore and would rather be on my own or be back together, and each time she drew me back in by telling me how could we get back together if we didn't see each other? Anyway she eventually hooked up with someone else which was obviously going to happen, so I got pissed and drove her away. A month later the guy is gone and we talk again. She's telling me how she's upset because the guy went off to Georgia or something. Shes also telling me about how she's hooking up with a bunch of other dudes. I played it cool and indifferent but I was starting to get fed up with her bs and mad at myself for even talking to her anymore, so I told her that I didn't want to talk for a while and not to call me. Naturally the contact from her doesn't end. I had to express again that I didn't want to speak for a while. She replies with how she "cares about me and my friendship"... to which I told her that keeping in contact confuses me when I date other people. Even so she has been calling me every week or so for the past 2 months and I've ignored all of the calls. I also ignored her birthday yesterday, after which I got another 3 missed calls... and an angry text that I wasn't talking to her on her birthday. She apologized over text the next day and I said it was fine and wished her happy birthday. Am I doing the right thing here? What are her intentions towards me? I've gotten fed up with being taken for granted as a backup plan so I'm trying to disconnect and get my **** together. The fact that we kept in contact after breaking up made impossible to heal so I'm trying to do that now. I can't help but feel like a dick for refusing to talk to her though, especially on her birthday. Ignoring just doesn't seem mature I dunno. I don't want to come across as bitter and upset, but I also just want to be left alone for now. Should I call her for a brief convo, tell her happy birthday and keep it light hearted?
Exit Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 Sounds like you are doing the right thing. No, sometimes ignoring someone doesn't feel like the most mature thing in the world to do, but instead of being so critical of your own behavior, don't forget to include her in the picture. She isn't being mature either. Don't feel bad about ignoring her birthday, if she wanted your involvement and attention, she should be in a relationship with you. I'm in the same boat you are, my breakup happened 3 months ago but we stayed in touch and I have not been able to fully heal. I went for a drive with her Sunday night and deep down I was telling myself that it would probably be the last time I see her in a long time, because letting her still see me with no commitment just makes this too easy for her. Gotta make them live up to their choice to break up with us and miss us. Whether you want her back, or want to move on, space and silence is the best thing right now. Maybe she will get it through her head that if she misses you so much, you should be in a relationship, maybe she will lose interest if you keep ignoring her, maybe you will get to the point where you don't want to deal with her at all anymore or you'll be comfortable with just being friends. Either way, I would go this route.
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