Breezy Trousers Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 A friend of mine has been married since 18. She's in her late forties and is a fun, beautiful woman. She was seriously injured in an accident two or three years ago. She sought the help of a highly esteemed female attorney for support. The attorney encouraged her husband to join the suit on the basis of a loss of consortium claim, so their sex life was scrutinized. They went to trial late last year. They won. The attorney has since became close to the couple, recently bringing gifts to their grandchildren and visiting their daughters. Last Friday my friend learned that her attorney has been having an affair with her husband for many months -- probably long before the trial. She's devastated. The family is devastated. The attorney is also married with children, so I imagine her family will be affected. Of course, there's a possibility of a grievance or lawsuit against the attorney for breaching a fiduciary relationship. There are ethics against her conduct. So it's being explored. If charges are pressed, the attorney could possibly lose her license to practice law and may subject her firm to paying damages for her actions. Who knows? Right now, my friend is in such shock that she can't brush her hair much less care. Just another sad story, right? Well, I'm sick of it. I came here when I was in love fog with a MM back in 2008-2009. Not often. I didn't want to believe what I was reading might be true. It sunk in, though. I began to see MM very clearly and finally pulled away in 2010. I learned a lot about abusive men & personality disorders in the process, though it wasn't a curriculum I intended to sign up for. I returned here six months ago to sort out how I got myself in such a dysfunctional situation to begin with. I found many answers here. One thing was never answered for me: Why was I lacking in all empathy while in love fog? It seems very common with all affair partners I've read here. In fact, I believe that a lack of empathy for other people is a core characteristic of all affairs. I've also noticed affairs have many things in with narcissistic personality disorder, even if the individuals weren't inclined to be that way. It's almost as if affairs take on a life of their own. Reading the accounts here has been incredibly touching and enlightening but is also making me lose faith in people's good will, integrity and kindness. Yet I know that we are all fundamentally good people. So I've come to the conclusion that affairs are evil systems which make people do disordered things. I've decided to change my focus to happier things and won't be returning here. Thanks to everyone -- and I mean all of you -- for sharing here.:love: I feel I know many of you and always felt affection for you and your unique ways of posting (even you, Silly! hahaha) ... I would single each of you out for a shout-out but am terrified I will forget one of you. (I'm working on codependency next.) No need to reply. I won't returning. God bless you. Now I'm going to tend to my girlfriend ....
Silly_Girl Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 That's such a sad, sad story. Best of luck to you. And to your friend, of course.
MissBee Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 I wish you wouldn't go Breezy as you're one of the posters here whose posts I find thoroughly insightful and touching and I've learned so much from you However, I understand the sentiment and you have to do what's best for you. Best of luck with everything.
whichwayisup Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 I hope your friend nails him to the wall and the lawyer gets her ass fired, and both have to pay big bucks! How bloody awful and such betrayal!! I'm sure you'll do an excellent job looking after your friend.. Take care Breeze.
Heart On Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 Aww..Don't GO Breezy! You were the only person here who got my situation! You are so insightful and kind and thoughtful and smart! This place needs MORE people like you,not less. As for your friends situation,I think the only person who could hold the Lawyer accountable and report him to an Ethics Commitee is your friends husband,but I doubt he even see's that he was Professionally Exploited. Show your friend Advocate Web and her husband so they can try to understand the dynamics of thier lawyers breach of Ethics and sexual misconduct. In reality,it wasn't an affair,it was Professional Misconduct. If you really don't come back....I just wanted to THANK YOU and wish you well. Peace and Light......Heart On
Emme Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 Another person has graduated. Wish you nothing but the best in life. Goodbye.
freestyle Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 don't make me throw myself on the floor and grab your ankles!!! (Don't go! Don't go!) JUST kidding---I totally understand how this place can sometimes keep you stuck, and it's healthy to step away. All the same , your insightfulness , and compassion will be missed. best wishes~~
jwi71 Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 I too wish you would remain. Perhaps you and your friend can paint a more complete picture of the devastation A's cause, dispel some myths about the BW and shed some light onto MM thought processes. Should prove VERY enlightening.
Spark1111 Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 Breezy, gonna miss ya! I think we read the same books, fercryinoutloud! PS: Please do some reasearch of triangle dynamics. The halo HAS to sit on one head when devil horns are placed on another; whether caused by pity, hormones, or low self-esteem. It's is all about false empowerment. Good luck to you.
MissBee Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 Breezy, gonna miss ya! I think we read the same books, fercryinoutloud! PS: Please do some reasearch of triangle dynamics. The halo HAS to sit on one head when devil horns are placed on another; whether caused by pity, hormones, or low self-esteem. It's is all about false empowerment. Good luck to you. Love this! Quite so....
Snowflower Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 Wish you would reconsider staying...you have such a unique perspective on affairs. But I understand why you feel it is time to go. I don't post here as much either because this place can be as unhealthy as it can be helpful. Best of luck to you.
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