Fin Posted April 20, 2004 Posted April 20, 2004 hey guys, i'm a 19 year old guy and i have a girlfriend who is also 19. We went out when we were 14 for a couple of months, broke up and then it went awkward for a while (as it does in High School). we then became friends again around 17 and hung out a little bit. things kept going along nicely, and we eventually got together. We have been going out for almost 2 years and we are each others first. But i want to break up. We nearly did the other week, i told her i want to be alone to do my own things and stuff like that. i still love her and that but i just want to be alone. i dont want someone else or anything like that, its more like i have drifted so far away from my friends i dont do anything with them anymore. i just dont want to be in a relationship any more. but when i try to tell her, she gets really emotional (which is totally understandable) and says things like "You may want to be alone now, but what about in a couple of months time". and i say i dont know what i will want in a couple of months and then she says " I dont think we should break up just because you think you want to be alone" and then i give in and we stay together. i just dont know what to do? i feel horrible, but i think about it all the time. i jus dont know how to say it to her. its going to break both our hearts because we both love each other so much, i just dont think i am IN love with her. i didn't know what else to do, so i thought you guys might have some ideas, please help me. thanks for reading this far
SexiiBluEyez Posted April 21, 2004 Posted April 21, 2004 Hey--I completely know what you mean, I felt that way myself plenty of times over the past 4 years that I have been in my relationship...I don't really know what to suggest. In my case, I waited it out, and I started to feel better, I just made sure to make time for my friends. If you truly feel that this is the end of the line for you two, stand firm in your decision & don't let her change your mind. When it comes to the end of the day, YOU are more important--you have to do what is going to make you happy! HTH!
Fin Posted April 21, 2004 Posted April 21, 2004 Thanks very much for the reply. i think that is what i am going to have to do, just stand my ground. thanks again. any more ideas would be greatly appreciated
calithin83 Posted April 22, 2004 Posted April 22, 2004 well your gf will be hurt either way, my bf sounds just like u... anyways hes tried the breaking up..and i always convinced him to not, just cos i love him alot and i dont want us to fall apart... i just think u should REALLY make sure thats what u want to do...because if u break up with her..u might end up losing her forever, and then u wont be able to do anything about it. Maybe u should just go out with friends and have fun yet still have her as a girl, but if that doesnt work out then as much as it hurts break up with her, but please be sensitive with her..she wont understand, no matter what u say, good or bad it will hurt her aloT!!!...she will just think "If he loves me then why doesnt he wanna be with me""..or "dont quit, we have it so good together and we can fix the problems.." its hard..either way it will be hard... she might go from pissed at u, to nice and understanding..just respect that shes hurt and dont lead her on..if u really dont wanna be with her..keep it firm, and stay away...dont come around and pretend things r okay..cos that will just make it harder for her to get over u.. but seriously if u really wanna break up keep in mind that u will lose her forever....if thats what u want then break up...if not then just take a lil break.
Girlie Posted April 22, 2004 Posted April 22, 2004 Sure, she's getting emotional...but if you don't want to stay, don't. If you can't handle the tears and what not, leave. Even as a woman, I say it's not your job to stick around a comfort her and let her talk until you change your mind and cave...because it doesn't make anything better. She needs to turn to her friends or family for comfort after this, not you. So do what you need to, be firm, and tell her if she needs someone to cry to, you'll call anyone she wants. That's actually what an ex of mine did when he broke up with me and I really respect him for it, as odd as that sounds. I hated him at first, but he knew that nothing good was going to come of him sitting there listening to me cry and trying to get him to stay, because he had made up his mind.
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