I have no title Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Im dating a guy for nearly two months...everything was great until I pulled out a fight basically out of nowhere..screamed at him for no reason (well i gave him reasons but they were stupid) and just suggested that he was better off without me and basically broke up with him...well, I have that sometimes when im in a really bad mood, I just say random evil **** to everyone around me, and then walk around apologizing the next day when my mood is good again and my mind is clear.....so he got upset, obviously, and i apologized for what I did and promised to not to do it again....it was hard to make him talk to me again, since the things I told him while picking up a fight were quite evil....well, finally, we made out and things seem to get better, with only one exception....he stopped texting me and saying all that stuff like: i miss you, i rlly want to see you and so on.....when I text him, he replies in a very friendly and nice manner, and when i say that I want to see him, he obviously comes and sees me.....the problem is that if I dont text him one day, he doesnt text me either....moreover, if I ask him questions like :did you miss me? do you think about me? is it allright between us again? he just ignores me....he doesnt answer any of those texts....he answers any other messages, calls me his baby and so on, but never replies to texts like this....Since we had the fight, there hasnt been one day that I didnt text him...but he never texted me first during the day...Im confused, what would that behavior mean? Its driving me crazy since I want to know whats going on in his head,I want to know how he feels about me....I deeply regret my drama queen behavior and I said it to him...but he never replies those texts, and I dont dare ask him about it when we're together I dont know what to think...when I tell him: text me tommorow and tell me if you want to see me...he always texts me the next day and he always comes to see me....but he never talks about his feelings anymore and he obviously ignores all my attempts to find out what his feelings are.....please somebody give me an insight on this...I really dont know what could this behavior mean...and how to behave myself...should I try and not text him for 2-3 days and see what happens? or just swallow my anger and keep texting him?.....
whichwayisup Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Maybe it's time to get to a Dr and figure out why you're having these anger outbursts and how to fix it and get it under control. You can't treat people, your bf, like crap and expect him to sit and take it. People eventually get fed up and walk away. Have you always been moody and say rude/mean things to everybody in your life? Do you know WHY you do this and why you cannot control what comes out of your mouth?
whichwayisup Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Anyway, he is hurt. And guys when they are hurt shutdown and refuse to talk about stuff and open up. Let it go, if he wants to talk to you about it all, he'll bring it up. All you can do is work on you, try harder not to pick fights and be mean and moody. Apologize for what happened and go from there. Most guys don't like drama! It's too much, it's confusing and tiresome to deal with on a daily basis, so that could be another reason why he's acting this way.
Author I have no title Posted June 27, 2011 Author Posted June 27, 2011 I have never done anything about that but Im planning to do it this summer....eventually my parents noticed that I do it sometimes, and made a few appointments for a psychologist for me...I will do something about it, and I know its not right, but I cant control my anger sometimes..I did it only once to my boyfriend, and now we made out but yeah, he behaves in this way that I described, and I rlly dont know why...why would he hide his feelings? he was opened about them before..and now he just ignores me when I ask him about them...I dont even know how to behave cause this is really driving me crazy....we have great conversations and then as soon as I bring up this topic, he stays quiet...should i ignore him for a few days to see what happens? or should I just keep on texting him and desperately wait until he would say something about his feelings ?
Author I have no title Posted June 27, 2011 Author Posted June 27, 2011 Oh...I didnt see your second answer....but thank you for your insight...I was just really confused about this whole situation..I mean, he wont come and see me if he wouldnt care, but he doesnt want to say he missed me..strange...I must have hurt him even though I dont realize to what extent I could have hurt him since I just said random evil stuff to him a half of which I forgot the next day....I got issues....Ill work on it thank you..
whichwayisup Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Stop texting him about this issue. It's obvious he doesn't want to talk about it or how he feels. He has the right to change his mind and not want to talk about certain stuff. The more you push it, the more he's going to clam up. It's good that youre going to go see someone about your issues. What is it exactly that gets you so mad? Mad enough that you can't step back, take a deep breath, think about stuff and calm yourself down?
mhm407 Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 I agree with whichwayisup. Angry outbursts like this could very well be a sign of depression.* Getting back to your bf, I agree, let it go. If he wants to talk about it again let him be the one to bring it up. I'm sure he's hurt and angry, but it's a good sign that he stuck around. Continually bringing it up is guaranteed to annoy him; let him get over it in his own time. Until then, behave the way you know you should and treat him the way he deserves to be treated (without going overboard in trying to make it up to him, as this can backfire!). Just be nice and act normal! *From personal experience, I would never recommend antidepressants unless you're at risk for physically hurting yourself or someone else. I suggest a book called 'The Depression Cure' by Stephen Ilardi, or maybe some counseling, although I also think that can make bad matters worse at times.
Author I have no title Posted June 27, 2011 Author Posted June 27, 2011 Well this is about the second time I texted him about it after we had the fight...I feel stupid now cause I feel like Im ruining everything with my questions...but let me tell you why I wanna know so badly....I didnt say the whole story.....we are in the same university, and in 2 weeks from now, we are supposed to go for an internship for 6 months...I am stressing out because I want to know what his feelings are before I leave...I am afraid he wont want to keep a distance relationship for 6 months, and I wont ask him to if he doesnt want...but we will have our goodbye dinner this saturday...and I wanted to bring up the topic, I wanted to know how he feels about this all...but he doesnt answer me...damn, Im so stressed about it..I know Im not going to see him for a long time, and I want to leave with peacefull thoughts, knowing what exactly does he think about me...but yeah, he refuses to taalk about it, so I'll just have to shut up and hope that he will bring up this topic himself... What gets me mad? I dont even know...I really have bursts of agression with no reason....Like the fight we had, it happened during a party in the club...I just got so pissed at him that he wasnt all the time around me during the party (which is normal, he has his friends he needs his time), but at that point I was just so mad that I poured all my anger on him at once...Once I did it he left the party immediately, and havent spoken to me for 2 days even tho i tried to talk to him....finally, a week after that we made out...but yeah....now its time for us to leave soon.....and yeah, the situation is as I described..
Author I have no title Posted June 28, 2011 Author Posted June 28, 2011 mhm407 you might be right....I just got over a very very bad breakup...I wont go into details, but it has destroyed me...its been 8 months since, and I finally started liking this guy..I dont seem depressed though....Im in a good mood 90% of the time and Im enjoying my life, but as I said - sometimes I just explode...my ex used to text me and talk about his feelings all the time...this guy doesnt and I fully undestand it (he is a different person), but sometimes its just driving me crazy..I hope I havent annoyed him too much tho..I wont say I love him but I am in love with him...and ofc I want to know how he feels....he told me he was in love with me before the fight...but now...its all quiet..
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