just_scott Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 k here's a brief history AND a possable conclusion i came to . DATTED the grl for 4 yrs prior to datting known her for 2 yrs.NEVER raisedour voices to eaach other had small issues they got dealt with together and over with . A little over a month ago she's at my place acts distant just alks out on e no reason/explination.LEAVES a box with jewelery i've given her over the years on a shelt for me to find later. WE have little contact for a couple days later no much said except i don't love you anymore,i'm not in love with you.we're not a couple ,i'm not your girl .you did nohing wrong THINGS don't always have to have a reason [which i've disagreed with after 4 yrs together ] K we've talked about how we don't like liars and cheaters [she was cheated on by an ex husband hatted it ]. I believe honestly she's now with someone else either seeing or datting them POSSABLY they met while we were still together ,MAYBE a mutual friend set tem up whatever the case. I think by her not talking to me giving me a reason why she just up and left one night is because she was seeing someone else and was just embarassed or even scred to tell me ,maybe to spare my feelings .WITH the i don't love you anymore comments my feelings definatly weren't spared though .... WHAT do you guys think , could she have been embarrased or even scared to be an adult and come to me and say got to talk with you
HLP234 Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 This reminds me of my last ex. We were good together but all of a sudden I didn't compare to her best friend which was a guy. Later I found out she had said I was boring, didn't express myself enough, so on. I am a good guy and I take care of those that I see they care of me. She left me without saying anything but by posting pics on facebook with this other guy and just removing me from her friends. I never heard from her again. Some girls are just like that. They have issues where they for example didn't get something growing up and are immature. Maybe someone wasn't there in their life and have baggage so they are insecure and feel the need to always find something wrong or a problem. You can't blame yourself if you did not cheat, harass, or hurt her. Sometimes its better to realize there is nothing for you to be sorry about if you did not do anything. My current fiance is perfect for me but we have been arguing a lot since I have had to help out family members and she was always used to seeing me when she wanted. She's starting to say she will leave me because I tyr to make plans and fail because of my family needing me. Regardless how much I was always there for her, she is selfish and doesn't see that helping family is important. Reason being, shes close to her family too but never grew up with that all around importance of "your family will always be there for you no matter what" so she doesn't understand and takes my problems and makes it about her. I hope we work it out and we seem to be ok, but I know I want my future with her. At the same time, I know that if this goes bad I did nothing wrong so I can't blame myself. It will hurt like hell 10x more than last time but if it happens it happens and there is nothing to do but to try to move on. Its sad and unexpected at times, but you never know what others are thinking. No matter how much a woman may love you there is always a plan B if she doesn't get what she wants the way she wants it. This is immaturity but it still exists in some people.
Author just_scott Posted June 28, 2011 Author Posted June 28, 2011 your current situation seems like mine at the end here.she has kids and i don't she would say a-lot i'm gonna be doing this or that with my kids and i'd say fine i'll see you when you're done AND her dad is ill and lives 5 hours away and she would go for weekends,holidays i just said o.k. have a good time i'll see you when you're done SOME of the times they would be lies and she'd be doing whatever with girl-friends IF i found out i would let her know i knew and say hey you're making time for your girl-friends more than me it seems -i always got told she was to tired to do anything , or she wasn't in the mood to go out ,I know her girl-friends don't like me funny thing is they don't know me i'm not from around here and i've only hung out with my ex and a girl-friend maybe a dozen tims briefly soo i think they got in my girls ear ALL i asked for was respect sit down tell me what's going on you don't just walk out of my place after where together 4 good yrs and don't at least say something to me ,I know she wouldn't like it done to her- IF i was the one leaving i'd at least say listen things are bugging me let's just take a break for a bit and meet up later and see how it goes. i'd respect her enough to at least tell her something ,i was just looking for the same respect and fairnessBUT i know theirs no rules
HLP234 Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 She seemed to just get bored of being with you. Maybe you guys spent too much time together? That is my problem now, before my family came here with nothing needing help from me, I spent all my weekends with her. Now she doesn't know what to do without me. If she had her friends still it would have been different. But the fact that you find them to be lies, thats no good. Why put up with someone that is lying to you. Its no good, if you wouldn't do the same then why put up with that? Could be that her friends didnt like you and influenced her to just do what she wants. If she really loved you she would try to talk to you about it. My girl does that, tries to talk but its hard when you can't control the situation. I can't help I have to help out my family, I didn't ask for it and I know its stressful for her to deal with this, but I would stick by her if the same thing happened to her. I'm the one dealing directly with the problems not her so for her to be so selfish and make demands of me kinda puts me down. Talking it out seems to work, we discussed a lot about how things will go back to normal once I am not needed anymore for help. She is already talking about wedding plans and such but then again I get scared because if a small thing like this can be such a problem, what happens when we actually have a real problem, she's gonna threaten to leave? Some women just think only with emotions and no logistics. Just know that whatever reason she left for, she is likely to do the same to the next guy. And like they say, before my last ex I never expected to meet the girl I am with now. It will all happen again unexpectedly.
Author just_scott Posted June 28, 2011 Author Posted June 28, 2011 me and my girl did spend way more time together in the beining-she was out of a marrage and spending time here and wit one of her close friends. SHE did end up getting her own place so she could spend time with her boys ,they could stay over etc .which was a good thing she wants to be involved in their lives . AFTER a whle when she had her place i would see her sometimes 3 times a week maybe 4 and usually not saturday days [her kids would be with her ] then i'd see her sat nights sometimes sundays too . HER lies to me weren't anything major and when i aproached her about them she explained why she lied and apologized so i'd let it go .BUT still i know a lie is a lie and once that starts theirs no way but down in a relationship . WE did communicate about things and compromised on some stuff IN our 4 yrs together we never raised our voices to each other . WHEN the break up first happed we were in low contact i was giving her some space AND when we did talk it was light and i always asked why don't we meet up and talk obviously we have an issue that might be something we can deal with and get by , she would say i don't think it would change anything if we talked , or i got nothing to say . NOW i am readying to move she knows this and i've said i have somethings here that belong to you and some things here i just don't want you can have if you'd like can we make a time/date for you to go thrugh stuff and we can put whatever in your car. she hasn't had time for that yet and asked me nicely if i move before she can swing by if i'd mind keeping her things safe and move them with me and we''ll make arrangements when i move to come get them ? i said o.k. not a problem . RIGHT now she is either seeing some other guy or datting him -when she was here last like 2 weeks ago to get something she needed i asked is their soeone else i got no reply,so i said look i saw your car one night you were in the passanger seat some guy was driving,she said just because some guy was driving her doesn't mean anything ,i said i know that's why i'm asking ,I even said look let me move get un packed and settled in and then meet up and see how it goes maybe a new enviroment would help us all she said was when you move i think i can come see your place when she's ready to i said sure. WE been in strict no contact now for about 2 weeks - i still see her in the area with some guy it hurts like hell and i just want to aproach but i don't i hold myself back .
citrusdrop1688 Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 From a scientific standpoint you can be in love with more then one person, but you cant be infatuated with more then one person. Usually if someone feels like they dont love you any more its because they are infatuated with someone else. They are getting a surge of chemicals in their brain thats making them feel really good. A way that they havent felt since they were last infatuated with you, which usually wears out after a year or so, right as you move out of the honeymoon phase and into a real relationship.
Sugarkane Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 Reading your posts, your ex sounds so much like mine, except my ex is male instead.
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