IM5150 Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 I've been broken up with my x for about 6 months now. We never let any time go by and jump into a friendship. Since then she's had 1 long distance relationship didn't work out, this was actually the reason for our initial breakup. I still have feeling for her so this friendship thing doesn't seem to be working. We aren't having sex so I constantly wonder who's she having sex with and it drive me nuts. She doesn't seem to be seeing anyone because we hang out a lot and we have Facebook pictures of hanging out together. She recently moved into a temporary place while looking for a new apartment. She said that she is watching this place while the tenant (I'm sure it's a guy) is away for 2 months on a trip. This is also driving me nuts. I keep wondering if they are sleeping together or if she's on the couch. I don't know whats going on and she snot good at filling me in with the details. I want to move on with my life but it's so hard. I want to be friends with her but not have any feelings for her. She makes it hardmfor me to move on because she stills says "I love you" over the phone and I guess I get a false sensemof hope that we can work things out one day. I love hanging out with her but then I feelmthe pain when I'm not with her. Who else is trying to deal with a (no intimacy) relationship with x? How do you cope?
radiodarcy Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 (edited) i tried and i wasn't able to cope. technically - - he and i weren't in an actual relationship. we dated hardcore for two months then things fizzled into a friends with benefits situation that lasted about two and a half years. i loved him (and still do) and begged and pleaded for a chance at a relationship; but he refused - - saying he wasn't ready for one. but about eight months ago he cut off the benefits saying he just wanted to be friends. then about a month later he told me he was ready for a relationship - - only not with me. he told me he was going to set up profiles on dating websites and find a match for him. it hurt me terribly and we had a huge fight which ended with him telling me to move on. so i went NC for about three months. during that time he initiated contact a few times. i responded by kept my responses short. nevertheless, i caved in and resumed contact on a regular basis in february of this year; thinking i had healed enough to handle it. i had not. i did not have sex with him but after three weeks of listening to him talking about the women he was dating (including details of their physical attributes) i told i could not handle being friends with him as sooner or later he was going to meet someone he would be serious about and that would be too difficult for me to handle. (not to mention he would have dropped me like a hot potato as soon as he found said someone) i went strict NC immediately after and he has made no attempts to contact me since. even though i miss having him in my life i don't miss what you are going through now: the wondering and agonizing about who he is spending his time with. it was the worst torture i could have out myself through and i'm glad to be done with it. none of that is worth staying friends, in my opinion. Edited June 27, 2011 by radiodarcy
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