bevell Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Please help me figure out these signals, if they are signals at all. My ex broke up with me, he said he wanted to be single. I was sad but also felt that our relationship had run its course. We were together 2.5 years and three weeks after we broke up he met someone new. We had NC for 2 months so I didn't know. Then out of the blue he contacts me and asks me to meet up. He told me about his new girlfriend and also told me that he didn't find her sexually attractive. I noticed him staring at my body ( he always used to say how much he loved my figure ). We meet up regulary now and he usually tells me to contact him to arrange future chats and I have done, he usually takes a week to reply. However he has also been the first to contact me a few times. He is still with his new girlfriend but is still unsure. I have a very new boyfriend - I am too unsure. I compare him to my ex and well there is no comparison. He tells his girlfriend we still see each other but she's not happy about it. He said he still wants to see me but will probably not tell her any more. OK I should just ask him outright but I don't want to seem stupid. Is there anything still there between us?
RareBreed Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 (edited) Congrats. He wants to have his cake & eat it too, & that's exactly what he's doing. He's using you as a doormat. If he really wanted to be with you, he'd be with you. He used "I wanna be single" as a lousy break up excuse, most likely to get with his current girlfriend. Stop hanging around this loser with hopes that he's going to leave her & fall back on you. That's sad & You sound like a very nice person that deserves much better. Cut him off & do YOU! Take it from someone who's been through this exact situation multiple times. Edit: & do you really want to string your new boyfriend along, knowing the future doesn't look too promising. I'd cut things early before you're hit with a ton of bad karma. Edited June 27, 2011 by RareBreed Added things.
Author bevell Posted June 27, 2011 Author Posted June 27, 2011 You know you are right. If I think about it it's clear he is taking advatage of the fact that I am still willing to keep in contact. What if he were to break up with his girlfriend? It seems like a rebound relationship anyway. If she wasn't in the picture do you think he is having second thoughts?
Mr. Savage Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 The mind games he is playing with both you and his current girlfriend are VERY dissrespectful! He needs to man up and stop playing these games. If he is willing to try to strike up something again with you while STILL dating someone else who is to say he would not do that while dating you. Sounds like GIGS to me that backfired. The ball is in your court here, you can probably get him back if you want him but be careful.
Author bevell Posted June 27, 2011 Author Posted June 27, 2011 I'm not even sure I want him back. I feel bad as I may be acting as low as he is by also agreeing to this contact despite him having a girlfriend. If we keep seeing each other then I'll probably miss him even more and want him back. Not sure how to handle that situation if it arises. Don't want to 'take him off' his new girlfriend and not even sure I would know how to!
flitzanu Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 You know you are right. If I think about it it's clear he is taking advatage of the fact that I am still willing to keep in contact. What if he were to break up with his girlfriend? It seems like a rebound relationship anyway. If she wasn't in the picture do you think he is having second thoughts? what if strawberries were purple? wtf, this isn't hypothetical, it is what happened. he left you and wanted to be with this other girl.
geegirl Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Staring at your body and doesn't find his girlfriend sexually attractive?! Those are not signs. That's just lust and wanting to have his cake and more cake. What does your boyfriend think about your contact with him? The only two people I feel sorry for is your ex's girlfriend and your boyfriend. Quit playing games. Either you're over your ex's and investing honestly and committing fully in your relationships or let these people go.
Author bevell Posted June 27, 2011 Author Posted June 27, 2011 what if strawberries were purple? wtf, this isn't hypothetical, it is what happened. he left you and wanted to be with this other girl. Yes I can see how pathetic I must seem! It's just that he has hinted that she isn't right for him and I don't know whether he's telling me these things to get me to give him an indication that I want him back. But I'm not sure if I actually want him back anyway. I have heard from two of his closest friends as well that he has spoken to them about being unsure about her. Maybe I should suggest NC again in order to allow him to try and make it work, that might make him make sense.
flitzanu Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 Yes I can see how pathetic I must seem! It's just that he has hinted that she isn't right for him and I don't know whether he's telling me these things to get me to give him an indication that I want him back. But I'm not sure if I actually want him back anyway. I have heard from two of his closest friends as well that he has spoken to them about being unsure about her. Maybe I should suggest NC again in order to allow him to try and make it work, that might make him make sense. oh its pathetic and i was in your same shoes. we've all played what-if. but he's an idiot and you need to have more self-worth and find someone to respect YOU and not just say what you want to hear to convince you to sleep with him.
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