vsmini Posted July 2, 2011 Posted July 2, 2011 Aside from if you are right or wrong or justified in bringing up the little things or not - your passive aggressive comments to her are just not constructive and make you sound like some guy pouting. in the OP you mentioned that you said to her something along the lines of "were you going to introduce me or pretend I don't exist?" And then last night you came up with this: Even last night, she is on vacation and said so many times how she would call me every night. She made no attempt and was texting me. So i said "since i'm not going to hear from you i guess i'll go to sleep (this was at 11pm) have a good night" I understand the point of saying those kinds of things is to let he know you're upset but it's just really obnoxious. You have to find a different, more direct way to speak with her. Because to be honest - every time you make those passive aggressive little jabs - you ARE bringing up the little things. Just in a bitchy way.
Author robdrm32 Posted July 2, 2011 Author Posted July 2, 2011 ok well when i try to directly talk to her, it solves nothing. How should i say things in a non "bitchy" way? Should i have the attitude of whatever she gives i take and can expect no more? Maybe it is a bitchy way of bringing things up, but at the same time i have to make her aware of things. i appreciate the input but how about an idea of a more constructive way to bring things up? Sorry but when i get snubbed i'm not just going to take it and let this be a one-sided relationship. It's like no matter how i try to address things it doesn't help. I think passive aggressive would be me not answering her texts anymore.
thatone Posted July 2, 2011 Posted July 2, 2011 ok well when i try to directly talk to her, it solves nothing. How should i say things in a non "bitchy" way? start withholding things. little punishments. she fails to live up to an agreement? you cancel a date. play on her fear of rejection. Should i have the attitude of whatever she gives i take and can expect no more? nope. unless you think life is like an oprah episode as some women apparently do. Maybe it is a bitchy way of bringing things up, but at the same time i have to make her aware of things. i appreciate the input but how about an idea of a more constructive way to bring things up? you're not going to get that from this woman. she'll only consider what SHE wants. Sorry but when i get snubbed i'm not just going to take it and let this be a one-sided relationship. nor should you. that's the advice you're getting so stop listening to it.
Author robdrm32 Posted July 2, 2011 Author Posted July 2, 2011 start withholding things. little punishments. she fails to live up to an agreement? you cancel a date. play on her fear of rejection. nope. unless you think life is like an oprah episode as some women apparently do. you're not going to get that from this woman. she'll only consider what SHE wants. nor should you. that's the advice you're getting so stop listening to it. Well thats my point, i'm going to bring up these things because they are in fact insulting/rude. She isn't due back until next weekend so right now its hard to perform little punishments rather than not answering her texts. And she is wierd in the sense that sometimes she thinks she bothers me so me pushing her away is just going to exacerbate the problem. Or am i to do this until she starts asking how it is I feel?
thatone Posted July 2, 2011 Posted July 2, 2011 it is going to exacerbate the issue, she'll try to turn your argument around and blame you for her faults. which you must instantly put down and reject as well. once your point is made, you turn your back and walk, then wait on her to contact you. she sounds like the stereotypical princess complex who has never heard the word no in her entire life. you need to start doing so on a regular basis, and withholding the attention she desires when she misbehaves. sounds like dealing with a child? it is, you're dealing with a spoiled 5 year old in an adult body.
Author robdrm32 Posted July 2, 2011 Author Posted July 2, 2011 it is going to exacerbate the issue, she'll try to turn your argument around and blame you for her faults. which you must instantly put down and reject as well. once your point is made, you turn your back and walk, then wait on her to contact you. she sounds like the stereotypical princess complex who has never heard the word no in her entire life. you need to start doing so on a regular basis, and withholding the attention she desires when she misbehaves. sounds like dealing with a child? it is, you're dealing with a spoiled 5 year old in an adult body. Yea i can see what your saying. I have been spoiling her from day one, and i think she is taking me for granted because i'm allowing it. Which is what i wanted to try and avoid in the first place. When you say withhold the attention when she misbehaves, how do i go about that? it confuses me because in this situation she will pick up on my distancing myself and she will retreat even more because she thinks she is bothering me. she said she would call tonight after dinner, am i to say nah don't bother i'll be busy. and leave tomorrow up to her? not alot of relationship experience for me so i don't want to go overboard with being a d*ck to her, but also don't want to make it too easy on her.
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