hendersongirl Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Title says it all really. I recently became friends with a lovely woman, then we became really good friends. I've become more and more attracted to her, and now I can't get her out of my mind. She is, as far as I know, straight. She was married, and has three kids by him, but they've been divorced for 4 years. I'm hoping she is bisexual. I've met one of her kids, he's a real sweetie and she seemed pleased that we got along, and told him he'd see more of me, then sort of looked at me shyly. She also seems to really like me, and seems nervous around me. We've been out for coffee a few times and to the theatre and that sort of thing. I don't think it will work just to ask her on a date because she will just assume I mean as friends, I'm going to actually have to be specific about how I feel, at some point. So, I (obviously) don't want to make a fool of myself by outright asking her, I'd rather 'feel her out' first. Is that the right tack? If you're a straight female, how would you feel about a woman being attracted to you and not knowing whether you were into women or not? What would you want her to do and how would you react? If you're a gay female, how would you advise I behave around her? How do you decide who is appropriate to pursue? Thanks for any help you can offer!
Author hendersongirl Posted June 27, 2011 Author Posted June 27, 2011 Thanks sollypocket. I think two women going out for coffee and a movie is more usual, perhaps. So how would you feel if a guy friend whom you'd been having fun blowing stuff up and talking business with was secretly attracted to you? Would you prefer he told you outright? Subtly flirted with you to see how you reacted? Or just kept it to himself? Also, you say I should build up courage to ask her how she feels about me; do I just say "hey, how do you feel about me?" eek I don't think I could ever just throw that out there...
green_tea Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Does she know you are gay? I think that could make a difference. If she knows, then she might also realise that you could have feelings for her. I'm a straight female, and wouldn't react badly if a girl asked me if I was into her, even though I wouldn't feel the same way. But then again I'm pretty open minded and laid back about that sort of thing. I'd suggest opening up about your sexual orientation if you haven't already and see how she reacts. You're right to not read much into the two of you hanging out as that's what women do. She might just be glad to have made a good friend to hang out with.
Author hendersongirl Posted June 27, 2011 Author Posted June 27, 2011 I have never outright told her that I'm gay. That's a good idea, thanks, I think I can manage to slip that into conversation. I'm bisexual, my last relationship was with a man, and we've briefly talked about that. So maybe she has no idea... I've been dropping hints, to which she seems to respond positively. But I think that indicates she is of an open mind, not that she is interested in me.
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