sandrawg Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 So, I met this amazing guy at a BBQ, while I was visiting family on the east coast. I live on the west coast. We had amazing conversation and ended up kissing. In fact, he was snuggling and cuddling me so much, 1 guy at the party thought we were b/f and g/f. A guy walked by selling teddy bears and roses, and he bought 1 for me. It was magical. I gave him my number, not sure if he would use it. He knew at the end of the night that I lived 2600 miles away. BUT I hadn't told him at the time that I was probably going to end up moving out there (my dad is sick and I want to be closer to him.) Anyway, much to my surprise, he did text me the next day, and that started a whole week of constant emailing, texting, IM'ing, Skype'ing...we talked for 4-5 hrs at a time. We have an AMAZING intellectual connection, like I haven't experienced w anyone in ages. And we're crazy attracted to each other. So after a week of all this intense communication, he drops a bombshell on me. His heart is still with his ex. They had a long distance off/on rel'ship for a few years. He was broken up w her when they met. We have a mutual friend. He says, their rel'ship is not good from what he can tell, and he also said, he's never seen my guy go after someone before. He's always been faithful to the girl, when they were together. I told him I had to put the brakes on our communication, since he was still into his ex. We went 3 days of not communicating, then I broke the silence and texted him to say, this is hard..he ended up IM'ing me and we chatted for 4 hrs. Next thing you know, that led to being flirty, and sexting like we did that first week, sigh. Once again, things have gotten intense. LONG chat sessions and phone sessions. I think he talks to me more than anyone else. I am sure he talks to me more than his ex..? He couldn't be investing much energy in her when he's putting so much into me.I don't get it. He even sent me an email about how beautiful he thinks I am, that is so poetic and beautiful. It seems like a love letter. But today he pulled back again, saying he thinks I'm getting too emotionally invested in him, and he feels bad for crossing the line and leading me on...but he still wants to be friends..etc. I can't tell if he's playing a game with me or what. I'm wondering what I am to him..am I a backup? AM I a possible "other woman" if he gets back with the ex? Am I an ego boost? He knows I'm going to be living out there soon. I have to be friends with him because I am moving in with our mutual friend in the fall, when I relocate. It will be hard seeing him frequently but not being able to date him. Of course it'll be a lot easier, if he's not giving m mixed messages, sigh!
vsmini Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 I can't tell if he's playing a game with me or what. I'm wondering what I am to him..am I a backup? AM I a possible "other woman" if he gets back with the ex? Am I an ego boost? Well none of those things sound very good so why even bother with him anymore? You're just going to keep falling for him if you continue to talk with him and he's already told you how he feels. He doesn't want to pursue anything serious with you. It sounds like you're trying to just ignore what's really happening here. He's just messing with you on all that email stuff - he just sounds like a confused little boy. BTW - you might have to see him in the future and be civil but you don't have to have a real friendship with him just because you share a mutual friend.
thatone Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 I'm wondering what I am to him..am I a backup? AM I a possible "other woman" if he gets back with the ex? Am I an ego boost? in all likelihood, yes.
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