ilikepeas Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Hey guys. So here's the scoop. I dated this guy for 4 years. A few days ago I suddenly realized that things weren't working out. I would be lying if I said its been an easy 4 years. He's practically a compulsive liar. He cheated once a year ago. I have a sneaking suspicion he is (or could become) an alcoholic. He is sometimes super disrespectful. You know that saying "don't be someone's option while making them a priority"? Thats how I'm feeling. I always do my best to keep us together and feel like I get nothing much in return. But I love him. I daresay I need him. When things are good, they're REALLY good. Like perfect. He can be so sweet, so thoughtful, so kind and gentle. I love spending time with him and we've grown to depend on each other. We click, we have great chemistry, we're attached at the hip when we're together. I called him out of the blue and told him that I can't do it anymore. He fought and argued and told me that I was just giving up. I've been really bad about the No Contact thing. We've talked at least fleetingly via texts every day since then (granted its only been like four days). I'm a wreck. Crying, insomnia, no appetite, you name it. But I can't help but feel that its for the best. I love him so deeply but he doesn't respect me, you know? We've gone through this routine several times a little less severely (I threaten to leave, we don't talk for a day or two, then I cave and ask him if he'll straighten up and he promises he'll do better and we're fine again) but only once before did we break up for about five months. I feel like this could be serious again because of the deeply rooted doubts I have about his character flaws. Am I being a bitch? I seriously do love him, if I haven't stressed that enough. This is tearing me apart and he's doing the classic guy routine of expertly hiding any grief he might be going through, which makes me feel a thousand times worse. Should I get off my high horse and take him back since I feel so miserable? Or should I stick through it? I don't know if I can..when we broke up for an extended period of time the last time I nearly lost my mind. eeeeeee I just don't know.
Mack05 Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Don't ignore your inner voice. That's what gets you into trouble. I think all of us have been in your dilemna. Where your head and inner voice says, this just doesn't feel right and your heart says I don't want to leave him/her go. It's like a battle with yourself. Stay or go but deep down you know the right decision is to go. When you have doubts like you do, then the relationship is more or less over. But because you love them you stay longer then you should, trying 'one more time' kidding yourself that this time will be different. To leave now and stay NC requires courage. You know deep down he is not right for you. The longer you hang on, the harder it will be..
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