Queen Zenobia Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 The reality of the situation is this, no one, and I mean hardly anyone is actually staying with the same company for 20 or 30 years, and then retiring with a nice pension. That is indeed a rarity these days. Ok. But there's a huge middle ground between doing a bunch of temp jobs and being with the same company for 20+ years.
greeneyedgirl613 Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Im a 23 year old woman and I have learned not to date someone who does not have a secure job..its just too risky..my advice is go to school, find something you love to do, and work your way up
grkBoy Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Im a 23 year old woman and I have learned not to date someone who does not have a secure job..its just too risky..my advice is go to school, find something you love to do, and work your way up As a guy, I agree...and I think men need to hold this same qualification on women as well. Not some kind of "get back at them" mentality, but regardless of the economy, it's not good to get mixed up with people who might bring you down in life. If one can't seem to get or hold a full-time steady job, then they need to focus on that first. I've been on both sides of this debate. I got out of college and struggled for years to get my career going. Now I'm established and at a very secure point. I know when I was struggling, dating was the LAST thing on my mind. When I got established, I was very mindful of women I met as well. I'll meet career women who have their lives in order. I think they're cool, but unfortunately I never seemed to measure up to what they wanted (VPs and Doctors). The rest were more those struggling. Waitresses, adult-aged retail workers, unemployed, messed up, etc. I know I would rather be alone than "settle" for one of these women. It's not a mean thing or prejudice, but I just don't trust it if a woman seem to be dependent on a man taking care of her. Man or woman, if your professional life is an utter mess, fix that first. Forget dating. Get your life in order and stop asking people to accept you as you are.
allina Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 The reality of the situation is this, no one, and I mean hardly anyone is actually staying with the same company for 20 or 30 years, and then retiring with a nice pension. That is indeed a rarity these days. Umm......so? No one is saying that men should stay at one company for 30 years, just that men (and women) should be able to get/keep a job.
Woggle Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 In normal economic times I would say yes but times are hard these days. I really don't think people realize how bad things are going to get. The traditionally male jobs are the first to go but female dominated jobs will follow soon and everybody will be screwed. Even the service oriented jobs will be gone pretty soon. Call most costumer service lines and you will be forwarded to somebody overseas.
thatone Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Ok. But there's a huge middle ground between doing a bunch of temp jobs and being with the same company for 20+ years. kinda like there's a huge difference between someone who gets their degree by the time they're 23 or 24 and then works every day thereafter, and those who get 2 or 3 degrees and still work sparingly and go to school part time in their late 20s and early 30s. which gender has more of those types of people?
Queen Zenobia Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 kinda like there's a huge difference between someone who gets their degree by the time they're 23 or 24 and then works every day thereafter, and those who get 2 or 3 degrees and still work sparingly and go to school part time in their late 20s and early 30s. which gender has more of those types of people? I don't see how either of those is a bad choice. If you want to be a university professor or a lawyer or something along those lines you'll probably be needing those 2 or 3 degrees whereas if you want to do something else you'd probably be fine with just one.
irc333 Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 In normal economic times I would say yes but times are hard these days. I really don't think people realize how bad things are going to get. Right, I remember seeing on the news how there was a LONG line going into a building at a job fair, several instances of that occuring. People wearing nice suits, waiting line. Some had to be turned away, because it was closing time at the facility. I remember interviewing job that I thought I was a PERFECT fit for, the job gave in great detail what I would be doing, and I was totally elated that I found THE job that was perfect for me. (Had a few instances like that) But, at the interview, they were convinced that somehow I wouldn't stick around because I would be "bored' of the positon (their way of saying I was over qualified). Apparently, I had a rather diverse resume. And the employer had an agenda of having the low man on the totem pole (me) doing only a MINOR part of the job desc. for a year at FIRST, then start doing the rest of my job after that. But, he was convinced I wouldn't stick around, and said they don't want to ahve to risk hiring someone, spend all their money and resources on training the person...and then have him leave. They figured me to be that risk. The whole irony of it all, I wasn't hired...and get this, I kept seeing the SAME exact position being RE-posted probably once every few months to recently this year. Obviously someone hasn't been sticking around that position. LOL I asked if they'd consider me again since I saw the RE-posting....but they said they were through with me, and were going through otehr applicants. Of course, this has been known toh appen on more than one occasion, REPosting of the SAME position one has alraedy interviewed for. Pretty wacked out.
ivalm Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 (edited) I don't see how either of those is a bad choice. If you want to be a university professor or a lawyer or something along those lines you'll probably be needing those 2 or 3 degrees whereas if you want to do something else you'd probably be fine with just one. Um, so I know the "science/engineering" advanced degree prospects. Also, by science I mean specialization that can be applied. Here is my fairly conservative estimates (aka, you can do things faster/get better starting salary). If you want to be professor it takes 4 years undergrad + 5-6 years PhD + 3 years post doc = 9-10 years as "student" and 12-13 years total until you make OK money. Thus by 28 a guy/girl should be done with school and by 31-32 they should be looking at assistant professorship (starting $80k+ if in even half-decent place, if you can't make it to a half-decent university then go to a national lab). If the guy wants to work in industry as engineer/physicist then: 4 years undergrad + 1-2 years masters = 5-6 years as "student", you can start making $70k+ (often $80-$100k+ depending on particular specialization) by the time you're 24. 4 years undergrad + 5-6 years PhD = 9-10 years as "student", you can start making $90-100k+ by the time you're 27-28 (physics in condensed matter gets $100-130k starting salary in current economy in semiconductor industry) If someone is in their 30s and is still in school, this probably means they made some miscalculations in their early adulthood. Note, people who get science/engineering education usually have very little loans since masters/PhD programs are most often free. For PhD programs the university pays your tuition/benefits/stipend (it's very little, but enough to live on) while most masters programs can be done while working for some company (and there you actually earn more money than had you gone for PhD). If OP wants to improve he needs to find a specialization that pays decent wage, has demand in current economy, and then educate himself in it using public education (IE, don't get yourself into huge loans). Low education required prospects that pay decent wage ($40-70k) include but are not limited to things like x-ray tech or pharmacy tech. Edited June 27, 2011 by ivalm
Queen Zenobia Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 If someone is in their 30s and is still in school, this probably means they made some miscalculations in their early adulthood. Note, people who get science/engineering education usually have very little loans since masters/PhD programs are most often free. For PhD programs the university pays your tuition/benefits/stipend (it's very little, but enough to live on) while most masters programs can be done while working for some company (and there you actually earn more money than had you gone for PhD). If OP wants to improve he needs to find a specialization that pays decent wage, has demand in current economy, and then educate himself in it using public education (IE, don't get yourself into huge loans). I know people who got late starts getting to college, then had to work full time while in school and didn't get their Bachelor's until 27 or 28 so it is possible to be late to the education game. I think it's more important that someone has drive and ambition to better their life, even if they made some miscalculations early in adulthood, being a student at 30 is not in and of itself a bad thing. And I agree completely with the last paragraph.
ivalm Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 I know people who got late starts getting to college, then had to work full time while in school and didn't get their Bachelor's until 27 or 28 so it is possible to be late to the education game. I think it's more important that someone has drive and ambition to better their life, even if they made some miscalculations early in adulthood, being a student at 30 is not in and of itself a bad thing. And I agree completely with the last paragraph. Well, not a bad thing, but they are definitely loosing out both socially and economically, imho. I think for the OP the problem is (from his previous threads): 1) He has a very abnormal and limiting family (or perhaps they want to protect him) 2) He has low self esteem and has some medical issues, which makes him outwardly unattractive job candidate (perhaps this helps motivate 1) 3) I realize the folly of making medical diagnoses over the web, but his self-described behavior seems to indicate severe anxiety perhaps even some level of autism, which also makes him outwardly unattractive job candidate (again, perhaps this helps motivate 1). I think all of this combined makes it for a very difficult situation.
TheLawmaker Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 We are losing sight of the most important part of the equation. The OP is mentally retarded, by his own admission. Sorry OP, I don't mean that in a bad way, and I've worked with people with autism before. A severely disabled guy with autism can't hold down a job. This seems to be lost on all of the people here, who are treating the OP like an individual who is mentally capable of taking care of himself. Who is not the OP.
ivalm Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 We are losing sight of the most important part of the equation. The OP is mentally retarded, by his own admission. Sorry OP, I don't mean that in a bad way, and I've worked with people with autism before. A severely disabled guy with autism can't hold down a job. This seems to be lost on all of the people here, who are treating the OP like an individual who is mentally capable of taking care of himself. Who is not the OP. I didn't see he admitted it, I guess my reading comprehension must be taking a nose dive On another note, yes, he can't be helped too much, but he can still try his best. Also, a bit of this discussion has become more centered on the problem in general, and less on OP in particular, which I am not sure is a bad thing.
Author quietGuy13 Posted June 27, 2011 Author Posted June 27, 2011 Thank you everybody. And yeah well apparetnly from all that you've guys told me, i'm undateable. I guess it's ok but it's kinda sad. You guys mention the education alot. Like that's going to help me. All that doesn't matter , companies don't like you if you're not a typical "normal" person who speaks well. Even ifyou study, if you ain't have small talk and people skills, and if you don't keep talking nonstop, most work places think you're weird and don't like you, even if you are good at whatever work you do. I would rather have someone tell me What kind of place would teach (seriously) someone with mild retardation and would get em ready to be employed by regular companies........If you can show me who does, I would give you 1000000 dollars. There's nothing like that!! And when i say retardation, i mean problems with speech, problems with understanding normal adult concepts, and problems with trying to make sense with things you say. If you can tell me right now, who , aside from expensive hospitals, would teach someone like me and give me skills to get a career(magically turn from talking like a 4 year old to talking like a business men) and free or cheap , I will go TOMORROW and sign up. The majority of people who say they go back to schoool or go to some technical school are people who already talk well and are normal. But anyways, Thanks. I will continue looking for jobs even though I don't talk well. Maybe someone will accept me. Some girls do accept me even though i'm not a good speaker but it's rare.
lino Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 As a man, not having any money will strongly work against you. A career isn't so important as guys who are drug dealers and/or thieves have women flocking to them. Guys who have rich parents but can't even tie their own shoe laces also have no problems with women. The above 'rules' don't apply to women. I remember reading a topic on here where a women was asking if her boyfriend would lose interest in her because she'd been unemployed for some months and had trouble finding a new job. Most responses were along the lines of 'if he's a decent man he'll support you through it.' I doubt they would have been the same sort of responses had a bloke started the topic. She of course blamed her bad luck on the state of the US economy, understandable. Though it's funny how if that same reason is given for a man's unemployment, it's seen simply as a poor excuse. yet another of the 46525784674 double standards in these times of 'equality.'
lino Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 You date a cashier and wtf are you going to talk about each day? Ummm, much more interesting things to talk about than work all the time if you actually lead an interesting life... Whether you are a cashier or a surgeon.
NeoGen85 Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 So many people are naive about what's really going on out there with this American economy. Then you throw in the @#$^ life will occasionally toss at you. It can be hard. People sometimes live in the moment and fail to realize what's important until later on in their lives. Some never realize it at all. But you also have those who do what needs to be done and still struggle. And then there are people who are blessed and they don't have to worry. All I can say is better yourself. Even if you have an associate degree(choose your line of work wisely too) and you play it smart; you can make more money then most people your age do. I will admit that achieving higher education is the way to go but in this economy a lot of people aren't even getting a first chance. I have at least 4 friends who are working odd jobs and not in the field they went to college for. While one of my best friends through DoD contracting alone(locally and overseas) over the course of 4 years has almost brought in $500,000 doing logistics. And she has no college credit what so ever. But the thing is she worked just as much as someone who pursued a 4 year bachelor degree. SHE'S ONLY 26 TOO! And if she wanted to go to college she could pay in full. Then I look at my other 4 friends with college education struggling to pay on those loans. It's really all about "hard work"(as well as being smart). Maybe jumping back into school will help you achieve your goal or it could be just knowing the right people. The OP is definitely feeling like how I was two years ago at the age of 24. But surprisingly it was a woman I was dating who "helped" me realize how much I am worth. I would say I was more blessed then anything because so much came so fast. Yet, I wouldn't count on a woman(or man) to save the day. The girl I was dating broke up with me and it felt like I was doing it all on my own. The thing is I've seen so much of reality in the 3 years that I achieved what I wanted(especially in dangerous places outside the US). In America people want(not need..but want) so much. The standards of living is high and so is everything else is. I met a waitress and I was just as interested in her simply because she was living on her own and working "HARD" to do what she needed to do; even if it meant double shifts. She had as much independency as any other woman her age who was a college graduate in a career. Be humble and do what needs to be done in your life. Ivalm is right. You take it one step at a time. What's in high demand and something you might like. I went from a electronic assembly job that was $10 an hour, picked up my associate in electrical engineering, gained about 2 years of worke experience, and became an avionics tech making about $65k a year. I have no college loans and all my credits will be transferring to a private military college nearby for my bachelors which I'll only pay for two years! Now some women will notice ambition. When you least expect it someone will enter your life and see how much you're really worth.
alexlakeman Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 OP, there has to be a government agency or private non profit agency where you live that will help place you in a job that they are more flexible or understanding. Are you in the US? United Way, for example.. Where I live the local chain of grocery stores hire some people with some mild disabilities and they perform well; I guess the agency helps them, training, etc.. Forget what I said about "going to school".. As for the women, it will just happen. Just focus on getting help and getting employed.. You can grow within these companies and be successful. I know if you are in the US, any major city has agencies that can help. Good luck
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