jessy1 Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Hey guys Hopefully this tread is in the right place. I need a bit of advice with the situation im in. Basically Ive started seeing this guy. We meet at course about a month ago and we became friendly but nothing further. I had a bit of a crush on him but never acted on it. Anyway we went out for a drink during the week where he got my number off me. We then ended up meeting up during the weekend and it was awesome. We had a bit of alone time and he told me he had wanted to be with me since he meet me etc. I was pretty chuffed!! I ended up going back to his place (as my friends ditched me) He offered to sleep on the floor but I felt bad so said it was ok to share the bed with me. We did a bit of kissing and cuddling but nothing further. He would always ask for permission to kiss me and where I would like him to put his hands etc and never tried to take it further. He said he wanted to be with me and we both agreed we wouldnt see anyone else or tell anyone yet until we work out whats going on between us. Anyway here's where I need advice. He invited me round to stay tonight and I want to go and see him and sleep next to him etc but I dont feel im ready to have sex with him yet. He hasn't given me reason to think this but I kinda feel thats what he wants when he asks me to stay the night. I wanted you advice on how long I should wait here? I totally understand that everyone and every situation is different and there is no set answer. Is it ok to say that im not ready yet? And if yes how do I say this to him?? I.e how do I word it so I dont offend him? I like him and want to eventually but just not quite yet as I dont quite know him well enough. Ive only been with two guys (and im 24!!) as sex is quite special for me. Guys would you be disappointed if a girl came to stay the night but didnt want to sleep with you? Would you think I was a freak? And how do I best tell you I want to wait a little longer? Thank you so much for any replies!! I realise its not an easy one to answer but would appreciate any reply before I go over tonight!! Thanks
alexlakeman Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Women have done it more than once to me where they want to stay the night, but no sex.. That's fine.. In my opinion, if the woman is sleeping with me in the same bed (dressed or not) and she doesn't want sex that night, I know it's just a matter of time..so I am patient.. he should be patient as well. If not? Well, walk out, don't get pressured
Eddie Edirol Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Body language will determine if you offend him. So if you dont want to have sex with him, you dont spend the night, and you dont do "everything but sex". Dont get him all aroused and then tell him youre not ready, thats being a tease, and that is the worst offence. Best way to do it is to not give any indication of sex. If he likes you, he will wait, but he wont wait forever.
Fondue Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Don't spend the night or give him any indication of a "possibility" of going at it. If he is expecting/wanting it, and you end up not doing so, you're setting him up for disappointment. People are gonna say, "well that's his own damn fault for not understanding," or "he's a jerk for wanting it," but it isn't exactly like that. He's giving her a clear indication of "hey, you are welcome to come stay with me this evening for this particular purpose." There is a clear message. It's up to her what to do with it. Just don't make him hopeful and then ruin it.
utterer of lies Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Is it ok to say that im not ready yet? And if yes how do I say this to him?? I.e how do I word it so I dont offend him? I like him and want to eventually but just not quite yet as I dont quite know him well enough. Ive only been with two guys (and im 24!!) as sex is quite special for me. Guys would you be disappointed if a girl came to stay the night but didnt want to sleep with you? Would you think I was a freak? And how do I best tell you I want to wait a little longer? You should not see him again, as obviously you aren't attracted to him enough. If you lie next to him, and fall asleep, and not progress any further just because of principle, the sexual chemistry is off, and I don't think that can be fixed by waiting.
phineas Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 You should not see him again, as obviously you aren't attracted to him enough. If you lie next to him, and fall asleep, and not progress any further just because of principle, the sexual chemistry is off, and I don't think that can be fixed by waiting. I agree with this. If a woman is attracted to me she doesn't wait around for some other woman to get my attention. Also, I don't sleep with women unless i'm sleeping with them. Period. They need to crash? My couch is very comfy. I'm no cuddle bitch.
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