Shaun-Dro Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Hey, my new girlfriend (Puerto Rican, 20, short, slim, cute) spent some of the afternoon with me before going into work at Target. We just had some Italian Ices because it was hot and humid, while sitting in the park. We cuddled, kissed, (she loves kissing, wow) and just talked silliness until all of a sudden she pulled my arm from around her shoulder and started to trace her fingers across the tattoos on my forearms. Then she rubbed my baldhead, snuggled up against me and quipped how she loves the bad boy thing I got going on. Huh? I'm far from a bad boy. While true I have my own opinions and I dont take crap from anyone, I'm not a thug nor do I pretend to be. I'm very well spoken and I never try to put on a front like other Black men in NYC. I don't fake the funk, in other words. My point is, has my new sweetheart wrongly taken me for a bad boy? Could she be self-delusional about who I am based on appearance alone? Should I even attempt to correct her on this issue or just let her believe what she wants and continue to enjoy the moment?
thatone Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 (edited) Could she be self-delusional about who I am based on appearance alone? Should I even attempt to correct her on this issue or just let her believe what she wants and continue to enjoy the moment? did you just ask us if women can be self delusional? unless you grew up on a deserted island you know the answer to your questions, man. Edited June 27, 2011 by thatone
Asystole Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Maybe you read something in her statement that I wouldn't be aware of, but there are shades of bad. You don't have to be a murderer or something just to be a bad boy. Taking no **** and speaking your mind is quite often all a girl honestly wants. Backbone. You don't have to swing that backbone like a 2-handed sword to be considered 'using it'. If you find it bothering, ask her more about what she thinks that means to her, or what she sees in you that she likes. That will tell you where she's coming from and what she's reading about you that she likes. It could be as simple as the tattoo. You sound like you might go to lengths to differentiate yourself from those other guys and feel like this is an insult. Maybe they are just doing it wrong, and you are doing it right?
Yamaha Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 If it lasts it won't be the bad boy that keeps her around. Then you'll know.....
Author Shaun-Dro Posted June 27, 2011 Author Posted June 27, 2011 Maybe you read something in her statement that I wouldn't be aware of, but there are shades of bad. You don't have to be a murderer or something just to be a bad boy. Taking no **** and speaking your mind is quite often all a girl honestly wants. Backbone. You don't have to swing that backbone like a 2-handed sword to be considered 'using it'. If you find it bothering, ask her more about what she thinks that means to her, or what she sees in you that she likes. That will tell you where she's coming from and what she's reading about you that she likes. It could be as simple as the tattoo. You sound like you might go to lengths to differentiate yourself from those other guys and feel like this is an insult. Maybe they are just doing it wrong, and you are doing it right? I would love to believe what you said if it's true. I think if she brings this up again, then I'll ask what she means. For now, she seems so into kissing and rubbing all the time, etc. I'll just let it be, after some thought here but if she mouths it again or anything remotely similar I will straighten her out.
Sweetheartt Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Personally I love the badboy look but really want a good strong guy maybe its just how u carry yourself that got her so into u lol. U say she's PR right and I know thoses girls love macho looking guys just like Italian girls which is me so keep doing what u doing and dont say anything.
Enchanted Girl Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 You need to face it, you ARE a bad boy. Bad boys (and the female equivalent, whatever that is), always describe themselves as "not taking **** from anyone." You don't know what a nice guy/girl is, do you?! My boyfriend and I are two nice people that fell in love and we take **** from people all the time. Not constantly, we do stand up for ourselves sometimes, but we bend over backwards a lot of times for people, too, and never get revenge, always practicing forgiveness. We're not outspoken, we carefully weigh whether our words will cause too much trouble or not. You have tattoos, are tough, and don't care what people think about you. Don't take crap from anyone and speak your mind. You. are. a. bad. boy. You must think someone needs to have a criminal record to be a bad boy, don't you?! XD
Sweetheartt Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 You need to face it, you ARE a bad boy. Bad boys (and the female equivalent, whatever that is), always describe themselves as "not taking **** from anyone." You don't know what a nice guy/girl is, do you?! My boyfriend and I are two nice people that fell in love and we take **** from people all the time. Not constantly, we do stand up for ourselves sometimes, but we bend over backwards a lot of times for people, too, and never get revenge, always practicing forgiveness. We're not outspoken, we carefully weigh whether our words will cause too much trouble or not. You have tattoos, are tough, and don't care what people think about you. Don't take crap from anyone and speak your mind. You. are. a. bad. boy. You must think someone needs to have a criminal record to be a bad boy, don't you?! XD LOL thats what Im saying. I read some of OP posts and stuff and u do speak your mind a whole lot. U even insulted people on here and just got mean a couple times lol. I dated guys like u and I dont know why
Author Shaun-Dro Posted June 27, 2011 Author Posted June 27, 2011 LOL thats what Im saying. I read some of OP posts and stuff and u do speak your mind a whole lot. U even insulted people on here and just got mean a couple times lol. I dated guys like u and I dont know why Oh really? Well I'm flattered.
rafallus Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Then she rubbed my baldhead, snuggled up against me and quipped how she loves the bad boy thing I got going on. Huh? I'm far from a bad boy. While true I have my own opinions and I dont take crap from anyone, I'm not a thug nor do I pretend to be. Stop overanalyzing and keep doing what you are doing. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Well, the description you gave a few weeks back about your rude and aggressive behavior towards he (as punishment for being an attractive girl) when you first saw her made you look pretty bad. And not the good bad.
grkBoy Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Hey, my new girlfriend (Puerto Rican, 20, short, slim, cute) spent some of the afternoon with me before going into work at Target. We just had some Italian Ices because it was hot and humid, while sitting in the park. We cuddled, kissed, (she loves kissing, wow) and just talked silliness until all of a sudden she pulled my arm from around her shoulder and started to trace her fingers across the tattoos on my forearms. Then she rubbed my baldhead, snuggled up against me and quipped how she loves the bad boy thing I got going on. Huh? I'm far from a bad boy. While true I have my own opinions and I dont take crap from anyone, I'm not a thug nor do I pretend to be. I'm very well spoken and I never try to put on a front like other Black men in NYC. I don't fake the funk, in other words. My point is, has my new sweetheart wrongly taken me for a bad boy? Could she be self-delusional about who I am based on appearance alone? Should I even attempt to correct her on this issue or just let her believe what she wants and continue to enjoy the moment? Easy there killer. She was paying you a compliment. The tattoos and shaven head makes you LOOK more "edgy" or "bad boy". She likes that. It goes to show how a lot of the bad boy thing is about looks, and how many men can just greatly improve their chances when they learn to dress more fashionably and less nerdy or "nice guy". I know some criticized when I started dressing better, thinking I was growing an ego and such, but I saw them as the types who thought I was going "douchebag". All I did was try different fashions I liked, and women seemed to like the change. Clothes make the man.
Author Shaun-Dro Posted June 27, 2011 Author Posted June 27, 2011 Easy there killer. She was paying you a compliment. The tattoos and shaven head makes you LOOK more "edgy" or "bad boy". She likes that. It goes to show how a lot of the bad boy thing is about looks, and how many men can just greatly improve their chances when they learn to dress more fashionably and less nerdy or "nice guy". I know some criticized when I started dressing better, thinking I was growing an ego and such, but I saw them as the types who thought I was going "douchebag". All I did was try different fashions I liked, and women seemed to like the change. Clothes make the man. That's true, but a little edge to the attitude can't hurt either. I just wear a Tee with long shorts right now since it's warm, but my head stays bald or close to it, with a five o'clock shadow because I hate having to shave. I'm not upset about her trying to pay me a compliment. I just don't want her to get the wrong idea and expect certain "bad boy" behavior that we're accustomed to seeing in the media. I have more class than that, although I won't bend over backwards for any one. I see her again today before she starts work. We'll see if she pops more stuff about the "bad boy" thing. If so, I'm gonna have to start giving her a few "cute" names that surely fit her.
TheLawmaker Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Stop overanalyzing and keep doing what you are doing. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. This. Most definitely.
grkBoy Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 That's true, but a little edge to the attitude can't hurt either. I just wear a Tee with long shorts right now since it's warm, but my head stays bald or close to it, with a five o'clock shadow because I hate having to shave. I'm not upset about her trying to pay me a compliment. I just don't want her to get the wrong idea and expect certain "bad boy" behavior that we're accustomed to seeing in the media. I have more class than that, although I won't bend over backwards for any one. I see her again today before she starts work. We'll see if she pops more stuff about the "bad boy" thing. If so, I'm gonna have to start giving her a few "cute" names that surely fit her. When I was 20, I had a 17 year old girl show me interest because my first impression I came off as a bit "bad boy". I had helped set up a friend to DJ at a party and then had to run off to DJ at a bar. She must have been turned on and thought I was a man about town. Not the first time women did this with me. BUT...we went on one date, and she saw I was a nice guy, and it turned her off. She ended up using me to make her playa ex-boyfriend jealous and just vanished on me after that time. I heard she got herself knocked up with that ex and of course, he ditched her and his kid. No big loss...but it showed me if a woman needs to be treated badly to find attraction, then she's not worth being with. If your GF were to dump you because you're not "bad" enough for her, then it's not your loss. Believe me, those are the women who end up being nothing but drama in life. Pretty much ALL the women I've known like that are either: 30something, alone, and claiming there are no "decent men" while moaning why their friends are married and they're not.30something, knocked up, never married, and hating men in general because of their own bad decisions.30something, divorced, and bitter. I don't see them landing the "hot bad boy" and living happily ever after.
Sweetheartt Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 When I was 20, I had a 17 year old girl show me interest because my first impression I came off as a bit "bad boy". I had helped set up a friend to DJ at a party and then had to run off to DJ at a bar. She must have been turned on and thought I was a man about town. Not the first time women did this with me. BUT...we went on one date, and she saw I was a nice guy, and it turned her off. She ended up using me to make her playa ex-boyfriend jealous and just vanished on me after that time. I heard she got herself knocked up with that ex and of course, he ditched her and his kid. No big loss...but it showed me if a woman needs to be treated badly to find attraction, then she's not worth being with. If your GF were to dump you because you're not "bad" enough for her, then it's not your loss. Believe me, those are the women who end up being nothing but drama in life. Pretty much ALL the women I've known like that are either: 30something, alone, and claiming there are no "decent men" while moaning why their friends are married and they're not.30something, knocked up, never married, and hating men in general because of their own bad decisions.30something, divorced, and bitter.I don't see them landing the "hot bad boy" and living happily ever after. True but I still like the look I cant help it lol. I just want him to be good on the inside but looks a little tough outside because I look very feminine and sexy and it just feels right. I dont think any smart women wanna be hurt by real bad guys.
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