carhill Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 On the third hand, women are purportedly much 'stronger' emotionally than men, so can handle painful emotional situations with greater facility and ease. Or so some say
GivenUp0083 Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 A girl who is interested in you, begins "the chase" or when she is just a bit more direct into letting you know that she's interested, or you prefer to be the one who starts everything? I like direct as well, but if you mentioned the words "the chase" I'd drop you like a bad habit. Anyone who refers to dating as any type of game is out in my book.
Shaun-Dro Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 On the third hand, women are purportedly much 'stronger' emotionally than men, so can handle painful emotional situations with greater facility and ease. Or so some say Actually, women are more intuned with their emotions more so than men, not that they're stronger, which is why men need women mostly for their emotional support when in a relationship or crisis, and women need men on the other hand for his decision-making and more clearer thinking capacity.
carhill Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 Thanks for so succinctly explaining my 'abnormality'. I experienced what you describe - "men need women mostly for their emotional support when in a relationship or crisis" - for only a brief period, when in crisis, and only then to the extent of an equal balance to the emotional support I was providing my exW. Interestingly, she was demonstrably 'assertive' during the courtship phase. Perhaps that's instructive. FTR, I've never thought women were/are stronger emotionally. It's merely a saying I've heard for decades, repeated here. Personally, with a lot of life experience under the bridge, I think 'emotional strength' or being 'in tune with one's emotions' is specific to individual rather than a generality applicable to any subset of humans. I've just seen too much variability. That said, when my exW called me 'abnormal', she was expressing her perception of such a generality and how it matched up with the individual who stood before her. I accept that. It's interesting that, even with that 'abnormality', my preference in this thread runs generally counter to the prevailing opinion, where I prefer the 'traditional' male role of pursuit. What is evolution anyway?
thatone Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 evolution is something that happens over tens of thousands of years, not what people cherry pick that suits them from the last 20 years.
carhill Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 So, are you evolving the art of the insult or is it just in your nature?
musemaj11 Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 I understand that men prefer directness, but is it ever necessary for a woman to be the persistent one? Or, if a woman has to chase a man, would you say he is clearly not interested? Being direct is not the same as being persistent. Women seem to be confused between the two.
musemaj11 Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 (edited) As a guy who has a sister, I would never advise my sister to chase or pursue a guy and interestingly, if you ask the same guys who say they like being chased by women, they won't advise their sisters to do the same either. However, on the other hand I would encourage my sister to initiate interest in a guy she likes because just like women, men too are normal human beings with insecurity so they may be attracted to you but for whatever reasons hesitant to let you know. Initiating is not the same as chasing. Men dont need to be courted. Either a man likes you or he doesnt. Edited June 28, 2011 by musemaj11
Dust Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 When you’re around a guy you like grab your dress and lift it up over your head and spin in a circle at least twice while excitedly exclaiming “look at me! Look at me!” No underwear would be a force multiplier in this scenario.
blueskyday Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 (edited) Ha! That's one way to go! I always act more directly than I think is necessary, just to be clear that I'm not simply being friendly..The guy I'm dating now I did chase a bit initially because I saw some shyness in him. I chatted him up, and gave him my number. I really shouldn't say "chase," rather that I wanted him to feel I was interested and it was a pretty safe bet to come after me. He loved it, but claims he chatted me up first...yeah, sure.... I let him think that he chose me.... Edited June 28, 2011 by blueskyday
mr.dream merchant Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 I appreciate a woman who makes it very clear she is interested in me. Often women assume that their "clues" and subtle hints are obvious, but in an age where millions of other women like to tease men with no real intentions of actually getting involved with him...you can't blame a guy for not making a move based on a woman's very minute hints such as: -Flashing a smile -Eye contact -Conversation So for a woman to actually make a move, let me know she likes what she sees, wants to get a little bit more acquainted, I appreciate that very much.
thatone Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 So, are you evolving the art of the insult or is it just in your nature? i don't know! maybe it's the first step in the chain, and in a couple thousand years everyone will be a closet online as*hat like me. or maybe when i get old they'll say... there he goes. one of god's own prototypes. a high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Feelsgoodman Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 A girl who is interested in you, begins "the chase" or when she is just a bit more direct into letting you know that she's interested, or you prefer to be the one who starts everything? 'Chase' is not the right word - it implies that the other person is 'running away' (in other words, playing hard to get). No one should be chasing anyone. However, there is nothing wrong with being direct in expressing your interest. I can guarantee that no sane man would hold that against you. Some women try the direct approach and when they get rejected, they conclude that men must be turned off by proactive behaviour on a woman's part (when in reality, the guy simply wasn't interested, period).
youngskywalker Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 For me, I like the woman to show a little interest and simply respond to my advances. The actual chasing should be left up to me.
LadyFlame Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 So what if you really do want to sleep with a guy but you can't say it directly? There's a guy at work I'd love to sleep with, but I'm trying not to make that obvious (almost avoiding him type of thing, because the humiliation would be too much to bear) I'm trying to see if he finds me attractive before attempting anything like that! Apparently, my male friend told me he does and that he's given me a few of the "looks" but I haven't noticed myself and I'm not glambling on that. So you're all saying you like it if a girl approaches you, yet what happens if you don't actually find her attractive!
Dust Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 So what if you really do want to sleep with a guy but you can't say it directly? There's a guy at work I'd love to sleep with, but I'm trying not to make that obvious (almost avoiding him type of thing, because the humiliation would be too much to bear) I'm trying to see if he finds me attractive before attempting anything like that! Apparently, my male friend told me he does and that he's given me a few of the "looks" but I haven't noticed myself and I'm not glambling on that. So you're all saying you like it if a girl approaches you, yet what happens if you don't actually find her attractive! Something like a note with your number and “call me” written would work if he likes you. In fact some times just knowing a girl likes you makes you like start liking her. The thing is if you pursue you put yourself in a position to be rejected. The guys who do best with some have the balls to face rejection. They are bold as they are brave. Women don’t generally have that same level of confidence and that’s fine because they get asked out and get to reject us. But if you want to go for it you should. It won’t make the guy stop liking you if he does, and could get him to like you if he doesn’t. But you could face dreaded rejection. Which is actually a good thing if you are brave enough to face rejection.
627 Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 I think women should just follow a guy's behavior... if he calls you the first time, call him the second time, if he asks you out and you like him, try to give him some sign that he is ok. what I dislike is going out on 3 dates as a guy and nto knowing what the hell is on her mind, either kick me so I can move on or give me some sign... I guess that's all
LadyFlame Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 Something like a note with your number and “call me” written would work if he likes you. In fact some times just knowing a girl likes you makes you like start liking her. The thing is if you pursue you put yourself in a position to be rejected. The guys who do best with some have the balls to face rejection. They are bold as they are brave. Women don’t generally have that same level of confidence and that’s fine because they get asked out and get to reject us. But if you want to go for it you should. It won’t make the guy stop liking you if he does, and could get him to like you if he doesn’t. But you could face dreaded rejection. Which is actually a good thing if you are brave enough to face rejection. That's the problem right there, rejection is probably my biggest fear (though I don't think people could guess is) it's just the humiliation for me is an enormous blow to my pride and could make me do crazy things.
Dust Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 That's the problem right there, rejection is probably my biggest fear (though I don't think people could guess is) it's just the humiliation for me is an enormous blow to my pride and could make me do crazy things. Most guys can handle that blow. It wouldn't even phase me at this point. If I were single I could walk up to a girl I found attractive have a nice flirty conversation and flat out ask her to dinner or something if I liked her. If she said "no" I would go on with my day like nothing happened. (no crying or beating myself up about it) Women have no motivation to face that type of flat out rejection because of the rules of the game. The rules are men as a whole are braver when it comes to this type of thing and women as a whole are very likely to get asked out with out really trying. (seriously if you have the balls to say hi or look at a guy and smile you’re way ahead of most women, throw in a wink and wow) So really the only disadvantage is to men who are unnaturally afraid of rejection. These men will as long as they have this problem have trouble finding dates and when in a relationship be overly scared an insecure about getting dumped. If you as a woman are brave enough to ask out men you like you will put yourself in a place to be flat out rejected. If you flat out make an invitation “Lets get dinner tonight?” There is a chance they will say “No.” Then you will have to deal with the confusion men deal with because chances are nothing will be clear not even a no or a yes. A yes might mean no, and a no might not have mean never. But you as a woman are brave and bold enough to be like a man in dating it will also up your chances. You’ll just face dreaded rejection. You get rejected usually more then you get accepted. (at least as a man)
LadyFlame Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 Most guys can handle that blow. It wouldn't even phase me at this point. If I were single I could walk up to a girl I found attractive have a nice flirty conversation and flat out ask her to dinner or something if I liked her. If she said "no" I would go on with my day like nothing happened. (no crying or beating myself up about it) Women have no motivation to face that type of flat out rejection because of the rules of the game. The rules are men as a whole are braver when it comes to this type of thing and women as a whole are very likely to get asked out with out really trying. (seriously if you have the balls to say hi or look at a guy and smile you’re way ahead of most women, throw in a wink and wow) So really the only disadvantage is to men who are unnaturally afraid of rejection. These men will as long as they have this problem have trouble finding dates and when in a relationship be overly scared an insecure about getting dumped. If you as a woman are brave enough to ask out men you like you will put yourself in a place to be flat out rejected. If you flat out make an invitation “Lets get dinner tonight?” There is a chance they will say “No.” Then you will have to deal with the confusion men deal with because chances are nothing will be clear not even a no or a yes. A yes might mean no, and a no might not have mean never. But you as a woman are brave and bold enough to be like a man in dating it will also up your chances. You’ll just face dreaded rejection. You get rejected usually more then you get accepted. (at least as a man) Well it does piss me off because I know people don't think I'm afraid of a lot of things, but this is the one thing that has been quivering, to the point I'll actually go in the opposite direction and turn cold, just so there's no chance I could get rejected. Wish I could get over that because it's super irritating!
loveshymanc Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 A girl who is interested in you, begins "the chase" or when she is just a bit more direct into letting you know that she's interested, or you prefer to be the one who starts everything? Im totally oblivious to the subtle hints, so direct would be best for me.
Dust Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 Im totally oblivious to the subtle hints, so direct would be best for me. I’ve read your thread about the girl on the train. Direct doesn’t seem to work on you either. Anything short of a woman taking the initiative to introduce herself and then ask you out probably wouldn’t work. Even that might not work because I feel you’d possibly run away only to come post on here and wonder if she might of liked you or was just saying it.
loveshymanc Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 I’ve read your thread about the girl on the train. Direct doesn’t seem to work on you either. Anything short of a woman taking the initiative to introduce herself and then ask you out probably wouldn’t work. Even that might not work because I feel you’d possibly run away only to come post on here and wonder if she might of liked you or was just saying it. Has the girl on the train been direct though? I would have said she was being more subtle. If she did approach me, I actually would believe her and I would post on her that she'd told me that I was really happy. Believe me if she told me she liked me there is no way I would allow myself to doubt it
Dust Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 Has the girl on the train been direct though? I would have said she was being more subtle. If she did approach me, I actually would believe her and I would post on her that she'd told me that I was really happy. Believe me if she told me she liked me there is no way I would allow myself to doubt it I'll answer your question by quoting your own story One morning a few weeks ago' date=' the train was really packed and I had to stand by the door. This girl was sat on a seat facing me, and she looked over and smiled, before moving her bag off a spare seat next to her and smiled at me. Being shy (and stupid) I didnt go and sit next to her but stayed stood up. When she got off the train at her stop, three times she glanced at me and smiled shyly. The next day when I got on at my stop she seemed to be looking at the door where I get on and smiled again.[/quote'] That’s about as direct as you could ever hope for from most women. In fact my gf didn’t so much as look at me before I introduced myself. I actually think she might have caught me looking at her and looked away. She was being shy like most girls, so really you got much much more then most girls would even do and you picked up on and noticed it all but decided to ignore it all and just come on here and type about it. That thread is painful to read. Do something!
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