Fell for my best friend (girl). Oops?

[rickyminsht]

Hello everyone,

My name is Rick. I’m totally in love with this girl who goes to school with me. We’ve gotten quite close in the past few months and we’re best friends. So at school, I have this reputation of being a playboy or whatever, which is so not true. I’m one of those ‘born leaders’ so I’m pretty famous around school (not being cocky or anything, trust me it sucks sometimes.. L)

 

I’ve been in love with this girl for 6 months and I’ve known her for just like 9 months but I can tell that this is the girl I want, the girl I NEED. I mean this is the first time I’ve gone as far as thinking about marriage to someone. I’m just too scared to tell her how I feel, because I don’t want to risk ‘losing’ her. I mean I don’t think I could even think about not being friends with her, but it kills me because I love her and she’s all I can think about. I’ve thought about just letting the feeling pass, but it just won’t.

 

I broke up with this girl who was a little older than me. I liked her, she loved me. It was quite a smooth relationship. But since the day I met this girl (A). I just couldn’t be with anyone else. I mean, I love every girl I’m with at the moment like I would love ‘A’ but I expect them to love me back the way ‘A’ would.. And I just don’t feel happy with them.

So I broke up with this older girl I was with (S) and I was single for around a month. Then I finally thought I should let go of ‘A’ and move on. So there’s this other girl at school (H) and so ‘H’ had this crush on me. I just asked her to come to school for one of these vacation camps because I’m the President of the Student Council and it was just my duty and I guess she was overwhelmed because I’m not the kind that calls girls usually, so she shows up, we spend around 3-4 days together and well she takes me to a corner one day, tells me she loves me and well, I said yes. I needed ‘A’ off my mind and I was lonely since I wasn’t with ‘S’ anymore. So ‘H’ and me were together for around a month (God I suck at long terms) and again, same story, I expected her to be like ‘A’.

 

Now this other girl came into my life around November (I broke up with ‘S’ in Nov. and was single till December) We knew each other for like 5 months.. I never even viewed her as a possible ‘option’ for my girlfriend. She fell for me and she was the closest friend I had at that time. So she tells me one day,’ I think I love you’ and well holy ****. I was totally lost, I felt so weird. I mean gosh. She’s beautiful but then I always thought of her as my ‘bro’and for a few days it was honestly very weird. She tried to talk like nothing happened.. but I felt quite bad because she loved me.. and I didn’t and she was like literally crying.. so I just tell her.. ‘look .. if it makes you happy.. I’ll be with you and I’ll honestly be with you in the moment’ .. (oh and lets call her T) .. so T and me were together for little over a month.. I probably sound like an idiot because I can’t last in relationships and im asking for advice on a girl who I want to marry.. but well just hear me out.. so same thing with T.. we were having a good time and all.. but she had too much attitude.. and ego problems.. and she ‘dropped’ it because of me.. but that made her a different person from what I knew.. so I pretty much lost my bestie L .. but still.. she had way too much **** going on.. and being with me made her happy.. so I carried on.. but I started to think it wasn’t love anymore.. she needed me.. I was like a drug to her or something.. like she’d sulk if we didn’t talk for a day.. and I began to feel I was with her just because I pitied her.. so I just told her I need some time alone.. and well she made it a big issue.. so I had to go the hard way on her.. told her we could just be friends.. and she acted as if she was okay with it .. but she wasn’t.. but all I know was I wasn’t happy with her. So boom, this one ends too..

 

I’m still in love with ‘A’ .. and she likes me too a lot.. as her best friend..she tells me im the most amazing and gentle guy she knows.. we share everything with each other.. like she’s one girl who can listen to my voice and tell me if im tired.. angry.. happy.. disappointed.. if I need her to listen to my ****.. she’s the most understanding person I know..

 

So the problem is.. she’s one of those studious types.. she’s always busy with stuff.. tuitions and all.. but all I know is., she takes out time for me.. like every single minute she has, we’re on the phone yapping off.. but the more I talk to her.. get to know her, the more I love her.. Its not like I’m desperate for a relationship with her.. I just want to let her know that I love her a lot.. and its totally okay with me if we can’t be together just yet.. I’m willing to wait for her.. like I don’t know for how long.. but hell, I know she is THE ONE. ..

 

To sum it all up.. I love ‘A’.. I made some bad choices.. broke some hearts.. but they all still love me a lot.. S, H and T.. and I feel like **** because they’re all really nice girls.. So.. Help?!? SOS??! .. I mean.. everyone tells me to go tell A about everything.. But that’s the whole problem. I DON’T WANT TO MESS OUR FRIENDSHIP UP .

 

Thank you so much for hearing me.

Edited June 27, 2011 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Hello everyone,

My name is Rick. I’m totally in love with this girl who goes to school with me. We’ve gotten quite close in the past few months and we’re best friends.

 

 

That's perfectly normal for a guy whose "best friend" is a girl.

[JadedAmore]

I mean.. everyone tells me to go tell A about everything.. But that’s the whole problem. I DON’T WANT TO MESS OUR FRIENDSHIP UP .

 

I agree with 'everyone' ... it's time to tell her how you feel. Keep it in, and it'll eat at you. Nothing wrong with being honest, if you guys are that great of friends it shouldn't change much .. and you said you're willing to wait, so maybe now is the time to see if that would even be necessary.