Jagger341 Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 Yes, he can be high functioning or low functioning. I ask this because I have high functioning autism, so I got curious and here I am asking this question.
quietGuy13 Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 I'm kinda of autistic or something and girls are never interested in me. So, I would say girls usually don't.
carhill Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 If you can live independently and have a moderate to high level of self-care skills, I think the opportunities are many. If not, you will likely still have opportunities, but the field of those opportunities will be drastically limited by perceptions of your 'situation'. I think any human who has emotional and cognitive awareness can find a suitable companion. It's merely a matter of exposure to enough potentials. If women otherwise find you superficially attractive, you'll have no problem getting dates, as dates are generally predicated upon more superficial factors (how you look, if you're funny, if you appear confident, etc.). Fill that bill and it should be no problem. If the disease has impaired some of those social facets, then it will limit the field of potentials. I'll give a reverse example: If a woman asked me if I would date her, knowing she has bi-polar disease, I'd probably decline. However, if she was otherwise attractive and had no marked behavioral red-flags and didn't disclose her disease status, I very well might date her and, upon discovering her condition later, might make a different choice than at the outset, had I been disclosed. So, IMO, give it your best shot, refrain from identifying yourself as a 'high-functioning autistic', rather as a 'valuable human being', and see how it goes.
iris219 Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 (edited) My ex has Apserger's. I didn't know it initially, but I knew he was different immediately. He is very attractive, ridiculously brilliant, highly driven, incredibly talented in his field, and completely incapable of maintaining a functioning relationship. If anyone behaved the way he did, I would be out immediately, but I did attempt to make it work with him for a long time. I wouldn't reject someone based on a label, but rather by how they behave in the relationship. Edited June 26, 2011 by iris219
carhill Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 If you had to boil it down to one elemental incompatibility, what would it be? Example (not me): In an intimate relationship, I find myself being cold and indifferent when faced with challenges. My partner remains warm and engaged and wants to resolve our differences. Another example, from my experiences with bi-polar women: I have to be very careful about choosing language. Seemingly innocent comments, say like 'Oh, my cat loved his new treat last night', as a response to them sharing a similar anecdote, can trigger rages for no apparent reason. People sometimes call it 'walking on eggshells'. Then, like a light switch, a minute later it's like the rage never happened. Anyway, I hope it's helpful for the OP.
vsmini Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 My ex has Apserger's. I didn't know it initially, but I knew he was different immediately. He is very attractive, ridiculously brilliant, highly driven, incredibly talented in his field, and completely incapable of maintaining a functioning relationship. If anyone behaved the way he did, I would be out immediately, but I did attempt to make it work with him for a long time. I wouldn't reject someone based on a label, but rather by how they behave in the relationship. Asperger's syndrome is the only type of autism I think one could have in order to have a relationship but it would be nearly impossible. I would not date a man that was Autistic - of course, never say never....but I'm almost sure I can say "never." My aunt married an ex-con, nightmare of a man that supposedly has Aspergers. Their life is in shambles because he doesn't work, spends her money and now they have a kid - 10 years old and isn't potty trained. But because they have so many denial issues they won't get her tested. Obviously he passed down what he has onto her. I don't know what my aunt is thinking. I watch her interact with him and he's like a child. Don't know how you can have a healthy relationship with that.
Arasae Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 Yes. I would. But then, working in education has pretty much eliminated any stigma for me there. Autism is often misunderstood.
Lady vs Panda Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 I will say that I don't know very much about the realities of autism. It seems like it would be very difficult to make a relationship work, as relationships are so emotional and that's something autistic people have fundamental trouble with, isn't it? I would have to learn more about it before I would be able to say definite yes or no; high-functioning sounds like it might be possible, and it would depend on what other factors he had going for him. I am not the most emotional woman so who knows.
Dust Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 If you can’t hold a job and support yourself your chances of getting a woman will go down. If you have to explain you have high functioning Autism when you first meet some one your chances will also go down.
TheLawmaker Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 What kind of Autism? Rainmaker autism? Or Sheldon Cooper (from the Big Bang Theory) kind of autism? It is possible to maintain a relationship if, say, you have high functioning Aspergers. But if you have low functioning autism (which it doesn't seem like you have), then no, I'd say it's very unlikely that you'll get into a relationship.
Afishwithabike Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 If it was Asperger's or high-functioning autism and the person was living independently, I would date that person provided we were compatible in other areas.
sm1tten Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 I know very little about autism or autism spectrum disorders so feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe that I've read that people on the autism spectrum often have problems with emotional reciprocity... and this would bother me. I dated a man for a few years who never, ever, expressed any emotion towards me above "liking me a lot" and with such stilted emotional development in the relationship I became increasingly unhappy and eventually broke it off. It's just not for me.
Rinas Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 I likely wouldn't, only because this hits close to home. I have a family member with autism.
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