fgc123 Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 Warning this isn't for young ones. This is the strangest/most unique thing you will ever read but I need to be completely honest with everything. This is hard cause i've never told anyone the entire truth because partly i am very embarrassed. I wanted to have sex on Valentines day so I turned to Craigslist, made an ad and I found a girl. Lets call her lilly. She shows me her picture and she's a big girl (no problem at the time cause I was just looking to get laid). So chatted her up got her phone number and talked to her. I met her in the apartment parking lot and went to her apartment. It took only no less then 5 minutes to have sex with her from the time I was in the apartment. When we were done I told her I was going to see her again and that was that. Well I began seeing her on a regular basis. A couple of months later I notice the sex was getting very very intimate. It was in it's own very unique. During that time she told me she got pregnant. She told me the child was mine. I was scared as hell and I asked her if she had been with other guys she needs to tell me and obviously she said no. So I gave her some money for the abortion and I went with her to the clinic for moral support and she did the deed and that was that. Fast forward all the way to Last August. She went to vegas for a week. That was the first time since Valentines day I didn't see her for a week and I noticed I actually missed her. Well when she came back we met up right away, started talking for a long time, realized we both missed each other and had The best sex ever. Well 3 days later after that I realized I had feelings for her. So one day while we were sitting she told me she loved me and I told her I loved her too and we started off at that. Well after a month or so I started to really think about it. How fast and easy the sex was. How many other guys did she see while I was with her. Was I really the dad? Did she have sex in Vegas? And so forth. Well one day at work I got such a dark feeling. Something was wrong and I confronted her. I asked her directly. "did you have sex with anyone else while I was seeing you" and she lied. I asked her the same about vegas and she lied. Well about a month later I asked her again and she told me the truth. She had had sex with 2 other men. I was not mad because we technically were not together but I was upset that she lied to me. I asked her if she had sex in vegas and she said no and even showed me her phone/email. 3 months later we are talking and I ask her again if there is something she needs to tell me. She says yes. She tells me the baby was never mine. She had sex with another man and didn't use a condom. I absolutely lost it at this point. I couldn't believe I gave her money for a child that was not mine. I couldn't believe she made me believe she was killing my first child. I could not believe that for weeks and months I was depressed cause I was thinking to myself "how the hell am I going to support this child and have a successful career". I immediately left and decided if I wanted to try and comeback and try again and after 3 days of thinking I did. To this day I am still not nearly ok. Well a couple of weeks later I asked her how many men she had been with and she told me she had been with 16 other men. It sounded kinda reasonable but I was probably thinking she's still lying about that. Well once we "fell in love" we went out to an restaurant and I was so incredibly not comfterbul with it because I had never been out with a big girl before. I was ashamed of going out with her. I would move and focus my attention else where to try and forget about everything. A couple of days later I had asked her about the men she had been with. (Note this will probably sound racist to y'all but I apologize in advance and I assure you I am not). She had told me she had been with 2 black men. I just cant get that image off of my head. I don't hate black people or I don't treat them any different but it's the thought of her laying with a black man, let alone more then 1 drives me sick. We would be watching tv together and a movie would come on with a black man kissing a mexican, white woman etc. and it makes me so mad/ sick to my stomach I just get up and leave. Yes I know this is me I know it's not right. I know theres no way she can take it back I get it ok. It's just the fact that she did something that i find incredibly disgusting at times I can't take it. A couple of months later I asked her about the biggest "thing" she had ever seen and she told me about this guy who's "thing" was almost the size of a forearm and it made me go nuts. She told me it didn't fit but just thinking of something that big trying to enter my woman makes me feel sick and not like a man. Around the same time she told me the truth about how many men she had been with. Her total count is 26. Knowing that she lied, knowing that she forgot about some men, knowing she had done more men then her age really messes with a man. Even though part of me understood and was not shocked at all. I mean after all it only took 5 minutes of me talking to the girl. She's fat, she lied to me during her pregnancy, she lied to me about the number of men she had sex with she lied to me a ton. But now it's time for the present and a question or two. Now it's very different though. She admitted to me she was a slut and she was suffering from depression. She goes to the gym every day to lose weight. She has changed her attitude around me and I can sense she's at least trying to become completely different. Because of that I have chosen to remain with her and now we love each other so much. BUT here are the things. I told her that if I ever figure out something else she lied to me or didn't tell me about I'm leaving her for good cause I refuse to go through anything else remotely like that with her. And part of me thinks if she really has told me everything I shouldn't let the fact that she has slept with black men haunt me, the number of men she has had sex with, the fact that she lied to me about her pregnancy. But how?!!? What can I do?? Can I do anything?? It's been months and the abortion is about to be a year ago but it messes me up so much. I almost feel traumatized and I catch myself causing fights because I'm so messed up and hurt. Should I still stay with her? Is there anything I can do to forget about the pain? I believe I'm crazy for loving her. Is that true? Is this the craziest story you've ever heard about a relationship? Should I write a book about all this?
LadyFlame Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 Well it's not the strangest thing I ever heard but it is very entertaining to read. I don't think you need to ask anyone those questions; and what you say about you feeling sick if you think about her with another man, that's just natural, I'm sure plenty of men who've been with girls who've slept around feel the same.
alexlakeman Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 Typically remember to double whatever # a woman gives you.. Slept with a black guy? Ugghh, deal breaker. I could never go down on her again Fat? Well, you must have liked it. Abortion? Wow, must have a lot of hatred in you to go forward with killing the baby. And she lied to you it was your? And you stuck around? You might need to see a therapist.. just saying.. Find another g/f, just not on craiglist nor fat, this time. Also you said she lives in an apartment. Is this in the ghetto? The demographics of where she lives might have been a clue..
stepka Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 It's a crazy story but I"m betting it happens all the time. My best advice is that if you're going to stay with her, don't ask her any questions b/c she's either going to lie or you won't like the answer. Or both. Try to not have any children with her either.
Untouchable_Fire Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 Should I still stay with her? Is there anything I can do to forget about the pain? I believe I'm crazy for loving her. Is that true? Is this the craziest story you've ever heard about a relationship? Should I write a book about all this? If you love her, then stay with her. If she works with you to be completely honest... I think the trust issues will get better with time. I'm going to be honest with you, the vast majority of women lie like hell about the same stuff. At least she is now being honest with you. Do you want to go out and meet someone new who will lie to you? About the black guy thing... I think that fades over time. It comes from your insecurities combined with a lack of experience with black people. Once you really get to know somebody the stereotypes just melt away. You are not crazy, nor is this the craziest story ever. No book is required.
mo mo Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 (Note this will probably sound racist to y'all but I apologize in advance and I assure you I am not). She had told me she had been with 2 black men. I just cant get that image off of my head. I don't hate black people or I don't treat them any different but it's the thought of her laying with a black man, let alone more then 1 drives me sick. We would be watching tv together and a movie would come on with a black man kissing a mexican, white woman etc. and it makes me so mad/ sick to my stomach I just get up and leave. Yes I know this is me I know it's not right. I know theres no way she can take it back I get it ok. It's just the fact that she did something that i find incredibly disgusting at times I can't take it. lolol translated Disclaimer, I am not a racist, but <insert racist rant here> hahahah, I think it's hilarious that people make these disclaimers proclaiming they aren't a certain thing, but then go on to say something horrible.
lacoqueta Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 What is it with guys having a problem with a girl sleeping with a black guy?!! I wouldn't think ANYTHING about a guy sleeping with a black girl! I just don't get it.......
lacoqueta Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 Oh yeah, and the fact that she keeps lying to you is big enough of a reason to leave her. You can't trust her and these things that are bothering you aren't going to go away
rafallus Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 What is it with guys having a problem with a girl sleeping with a black guy?!! I wouldn't think ANYTHING about a guy sleeping with a black girl! I just don't get it....... Wild guess: insecurity about their penis size?
Author fgc123 Posted June 26, 2011 Author Posted June 26, 2011 Wild guess: insecurity about their penis size?I know i'm not biggest she's ever had lol. But I make her squirt every time we have sex. So I really don't care about size.
Author fgc123 Posted June 26, 2011 Author Posted June 26, 2011 What is it with guys having a problem with a girl sleeping with a black guy?!! I wouldn't think ANYTHING about a guy sleeping with a black girl! I just don't get it....... Personally I think it's absolutely disgusting. Just the mental image of someone I care/love about doing something so opposite, so taboo it bothers the hell out of me. I have no hate directed towards blacks. It's just something that really messes me up.
Untouchable_Fire Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 lolol translated Disclaimer, I am not a racist, but <insert racist rant here> hahahah, I think it's hilarious that people make these disclaimers proclaiming they aren't a certain thing, but then go on to say something horrible. Everyone has their own sexual preferences and hangups. Some guys get freaked out by women who have done anal or threesomes... ect. Clearly he doesn't enjoy having this hangup, nor does he find having the issue acceptable. Save the term racist for people who deserve it. F*** I've heard people called racist because they didn't vote for Obama. I'm tired of stupid jerkoffs making the term worthless by applying it to anything and anyone. What is it with guys having a problem with a girl sleeping with a black guy?!! I wouldn't think ANYTHING about a guy sleeping with a black girl! I just don't get it....... Just because you can't "understand it" doesn't mean it isn't a valid issue for someone else. My suggestion to everyone is either post something to help him get past the issue... or STFU.
alexlakeman Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 ( translated Disclaimer, I am not a racist, but <insert racist rant here> hahahah, I think it's hilarious that people make these disclaimers proclaiming they aren't a certain thing, but then go on to say something horrible. We're all typically racist.. What's the first thing most people do when driving through a predominantly black neighborhood and stop at a light? Look around, make sure your locks are on... That's life...
Author fgc123 Posted June 27, 2011 Author Posted June 27, 2011 We're all typically racist.. What's the first thing most people do when driving through a predominantly black neighborhood and stop at a light? Look around, make sure your locks are on... That's life... I completely agree. It's not like we scream it on the top of lungs and let everyone know about that...
Eddie Edirol Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Personally I think it's absolutely disgusting. Just the mental image of someone I care/love about doing something so opposite, so taboo it bothers the hell out of me. I have no hate directed towards blacks. It's just something that really messes me up. If youre gonna be racist, you might as well own it. Just say youre racist. many people feel like you, you dont have to feel bad about it. Youre also what is called a "cuckold", and a wimp. If you werent in love with her, you would have left her, but since you dont want to deal with getting depressed without her, you choose to stay. If shes fat, shes sleeping with all those guys prolly for some sort of validation, or because she enjoys it. Theres no way she will feel validated by you ever. Thats why shes going to the gym, shes planning on losing weight so she can upgrade from you.
blackmagik Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 You shouldn't be with this girl, way to many red flags to be in a serious relationship. - She slept with other men while with you. While you were not technically together the problem lays with the fact that she lied to you about it when you confronted her about it. - She told you that a baby was yours when it wasn't. To me that would be HUGE and I would walk right there. - Lies, lies, and more lies. Just not worth your constant worrying about what or who she is doing. It does sound like you have a lot of insecurities about relationships though. A relationship like this would not help your psychy at all. If anything it would most definitely damage faith in women you do have and just damage you for the next girl. Remember though, a past is a past, no matter how you look at it. Things will always happen before a girl was with you, you just have to deal with it. If you can't handle the fact that a girl has slept with other guys before you then don't ask them. For instance the fact definitely bothers me when I care for a girl, so guess what? I don't bring it up or ask about it. All it will do is drive my mind crazy and start wondering crazy things.
lacoqueta Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Well I wasn't calling you a racist, was just wondering what the big deal was because I've heard a lot of guys say the same thing, but have never heard a girl complain about that. Either way I mentioned the lies being the biggest issue in my eyes and the fact that she told you the baby was yours and having no problem taking your money for the abortion was just pure evil!!
Author fgc123 Posted June 27, 2011 Author Posted June 27, 2011 If youre gonna be racist, you might as well own it. Just say youre racist. many people feel like you, you dont have to feel bad about it. Youre also what is called a "cuckold", and a wimp. If you werent in love with her, you would have left her, but since you dont want to deal with getting depressed without her, you choose to stay. If shes fat, shes sleeping with all those guys prolly for some sort of validation, or because she enjoys it. Theres no way she will feel validated by you ever. Thats why shes going to the gym, shes planning on losing weight so she can upgrade from you. You must be black. Either that or your to ignorant to understand everything I just said. This woman genuinely loves me. You cannot fake that.
Author fgc123 Posted June 27, 2011 Author Posted June 27, 2011 Well I wasn't calling you a racist, was just wondering what the big deal was because I've heard a lot of guys say the same thing, but have never heard a girl complain about that. Either way I mentioned the lies being the biggest issue in my eyes and the fact that she told you the baby was yours and having no problem taking your money for the abortion was just pure evil!! She paid me back right away. She even told me she was so scared she didn't know what to do and obviously regrets everything. My question to you is this. Would you still do a black man given everything you have been told.
Author fgc123 Posted June 27, 2011 Author Posted June 27, 2011 You shouldn't be with this girl, way to many red flags to be in a serious relationship. - She slept with other men while with you. While you were not technically together the problem lays with the fact that she lied to you about it when you confronted her about it. - She told you that a baby was yours when it wasn't. To me that would be HUGE and I would walk right there. - Lies, lies, and more lies. Just not worth your constant worrying about what or who she is doing. It does sound like you have a lot of insecurities about relationships though. A relationship like this would not help your psychy at all. If anything it would most definitely damage faith in women you do have and just damage you for the next girl. Remember though, a past is a past, no matter how you look at it. Things will always happen before a girl was with you, you just have to deal with it. If you can't handle the fact that a girl has slept with other guys before you then don't ask them. For instance the fact definitely bothers me when I care for a girl, so guess what? I don't bring it up or ask about it. All it will do is drive my mind crazy and start wondering crazy things. I know I should not be with her. But I love her and she loves me so I'm giving it one last chance. So far things have been much much better. Lets not act like what we don't ask wont come out anyways. Not necessarily through words but through actions. I just don't want to waste my time waiting for that to happen. By the way. After this girl if things don't work out I'm not having another relationship for years to come. I doubt getting married. Women are the worst. They can't be trusted in general to tell the truth.
greeneyedgirl613 Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 You should leave her...I wouldnt trust her..break ups are hard but..it sounds like it's hard for you already
blackmagik Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 I know I should not be with her. But I love her and she loves me so I'm giving it one last chance. So far things have been much much better. Lets not act like what we don't ask wont come out anyways. Not necessarily through words but through actions. I just don't want to waste my time waiting for that to happen. By the way. After this girl if things don't work out I'm not having another relationship for years to come. I doubt getting married. Women are the worst. They can't be trusted in general to tell the truth. Then why do you even ask the question if you already have the answer set in your head. You know its not right. Love sucks, especially when you know you have to end things with the one you do love. My question is it really love? If it was you wouldn't care what she looked like, what her pass was, or anything that wasn't pertaining to your relationship with her. You said you couldn't take her out because he were ashamed of her because of her weight, that is not love, love is unconditional and you wouldn't care what she looked like as long as she was attractive to you you wouldn't care what others think.
OliveOyl Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Personally I think it's absolutely disgusting. Just the mental image of someone I care/love about doing something so opposite, so taboo it bothers the hell out of me. I have no hate directed towards blacks. It's just something that really messes me up. Uh, yes you do have a lot of hate. Absolutely disgusting? Taboo? Puhleeze. You're very racist.
Author fgc123 Posted June 27, 2011 Author Posted June 27, 2011 Uh, yes you do have a lot of hate. Absolutely disgusting? Taboo? Puhleeze. You're very racist. I don't care about your opinions about how i view interracial dating. I'm here to ask people for their opinions about my current situation. If my "race issue" is going to interfere with your judgement I suggest you don't respond and leave it at that.
Untouchable_Fire Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 She paid me back right away. She even told me she was so scared she didn't know what to do and obviously regrets everything. My question to you is this. Would you still do a black man given everything you have been told. Yes of course she would! Not many guys have this issue. You realize that right? You seriously need to put some effort into getting over it. Are you even interested in changing or do you plan to be pathetically insecure in this way forever?
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