diablodude64 Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 I have not talked or even seen my ex for about 6 weeks now, but one of my buddies said she talked to him and told him that she missed me a lot. I thought I was over this girl until recently, and now I can't stop thinking about her. She now works in the mall near where I live, and I was wondering how I would go about asking her if she would like to do something together. Just on a friendly basis. Please help me out here, Thanks.
smudge21 Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 So she became an ex, you still have feelings and you want to go see her? You really think that's wise? What will it accomplish? Who left who and why, and what's changed since then? Okay I get the fact she still has feelings, but unless something has changed; unless the reason that caused you to split has been dealt with, what do you think will happen when you see her? Please think this through. If she's missing you now, then why isn't she contacting you? Okay, you could argue that she's said the missing you line to your friend, knowing it will get back to you. Fair enough, tell your friend you're missing her too - play the same game, but don't go running back just on this. I was 8 weeks NC when I got a friend request from my ex (on FB). I had to say thanks but no thanks as nothing has changed. I would only be back where I was when I had to say goodbye. You're in no way healed and in no way capable of just being your ex's friend. If you think you are, just picture this scenario: you meet up, you get along, she tells you about her new boyfriend... could you handle that?
Author diablodude64 Posted June 26, 2011 Author Posted June 26, 2011 So she became an ex, you still have feelings and you want to go see her? You really think that's wise? What will it accomplish? Who left who and why, and what's changed since then? Okay I get the fact she still has feelings, but unless something has changed; unless the reason that caused you to split has been dealt with, what do you think will happen when you see her? Please think this through. If she's missing you now, then why isn't she contacting you? Okay, you could argue that she's said the missing you line to your friend, knowing it will get back to you. Fair enough, tell your friend you're missing her too - play the same game, but don't go running back just on this. I was 8 weeks NC when I got a friend request from my ex (on FB). I had to say thanks but no thanks as nothing has changed. I would only be back where I was when I had to say goodbye. You're in no way healed and in no way capable of just being your ex's friend. If you think you are, just picture this scenario: you meet up, you get along, she tells you about her new boyfriend... could you handle that? I don’t just want to go see her. It’s definitely a little bit more complicated than that. Her mother and older sister have had a lot of influence on her and are downright crazy. We broke up because I called her a chicken **** in a joke, and she couldn’t take that. I don’t know why I said that still, but I did apologize for it later on. I am the one who broke it off… I told her that we should go on a break, then went home and found out that she decided to break up with me a few days later. Not by her of course, but by one of her friends. Why does she not contact me? Because of her psycho mom who has implanted in her head since the day that she was born that the guy is supposed to do everything. Most of that she hasn’t agreed with but obviously some of it is truth to her. After reading what I am writing, I think people who read this are going to ask why the f would I want to go back to that. The thing is, when we are together we don’t have those ridiculous petty problems, only when her mom, the chosen one, opens her mouth. I’ve talked with her dad, and he agrees with me and even told me he knows exactly what I am dealing with because when he was dating my ex’s mom, he went through the same thing. I want to go to my ex and ask her to get together with me on a completely mutual basis. Nothing serious just completely friendly, mainly to resolve things that were petty. I am in no way meeting up to beg her back or something stupid like that.
smudge21 Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 You want to talk to her again, meet up, have a chat, clear the air, then send her an email saying pretty much what you've just said in that reply. Make it clear what your intentions are and why you want to do this. If she cares, she'll meet you. Obviously my response was to make it clear that seeing her will set you back, but you clearly have things you need to sort out, get off your chest, otherwise moving on will be impossible. I understand that. I feel the same way (but know that meeting my ex will be too painfull). Just think it through first, make sure you realise all the risks of meeting an ex. As I said, nothing has changed (and from what you've said, it may be a long time before anything does change), and you need to think of number one, ie: you! Break ups hurt enough without making things worse. Good luck with whatever you decide. Do what you feel right in doing. We can give you all the advice in the world, but it's upto you if you want to take it.
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