imnotgrownup Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 I just want to thank everyone in here for their support in what I've read so far in 15 hours of reading posts. I need to let it be known that I'm in recovery and so is she(AA). I've been clean almost 7 years and am 48 and she 4 years clean 49 years old. We became friends at a picnic and have been inseparable for almost 2 years. I knew she had feelings for me but I didn't for her at the start of our friendship. She was my best friend as I was hers and we did everything together from fishing,camping ,Frisbee.bowling,picnics you name it we did it. I started noticing other guys paying attention to her and it made me a bit insecure because she didn't have self esteem to tell them to leave her alone when she didn't like them. I found that I started to have romantic feelings for her (after almost 2 years) and I let her know it. She was ecstatic over it and was blown away by it because I told her I was scared of recovery relationships and how they don't usually work out. Well I felt the closest to a woman I could ever feel because of us being friends first and it seamed so natural and beautiful and was meant to happen.(I will try to shorten this as it would be pretty long if I don't) We did the love (sex) thing in my bed for about 5 nights in a row and I enjoyed her company extremely because of what I thought was the closeness we shared for 2 years. I realized that her snoring was keeping me from really sleeping as we tried to work on a remedy for this. I told her I needed to get just 1 or 2 nights of real sleep because of an early morning job I needed to do and said we should sleep apart for those 1 or 2 nights. Her response was that if we couldn't be together that this relationship wasn't going to work! I told her that it was just those 1 or 2 days and that we would be back together in her or my bed. (my mistake I see now) She also gave me keys to her new car and apartment as I gave her mine as well in those few days we were together in my place. She also stated that we should be thinking about moving into 1 place together REAL soon. I told her we needed to have more time on this as we also needed for her to be more open and honest with me as I've been with her in the 2 years we've been friends. She is very shy and lacks self esteem in a big way, also to be together for the long run I need more truth from her and she's not been opening fully to me like I felt she should. She then told me our ideas of relationships was different and then she wouldn't respond to my wondering what that meant??? I found out that when she went home those days I was working that she said we should just be friends 2 days later and was already in the starting of another relationship with another guy from AA that was just newly sober! This guy is a player and has in his 4 months of sobriety been with 2 other woman before she went with him. She'd been texting him and talking to him without me knowing it for about 5 weeks prior to her just wanting friendship only from me. I found this out from other members from my club that 2 days after I had last slept with her that she was at this guys house!!! I found this out and GOD knows I lost it!!! We had just come back from the beach 2 hours earlier and it seamed it was going really well(2 days after her in my bed) and she was at this guys house 2 hours later. I prayed to God not not do anything foolish in this situation and immediately brought her keys to her apartment left them on her coffee table then went home. As i was going home I called this guy (a colored guy with game under him and a complete player not interested in sobriety) and he wouldn't let her on the phone to talk to me. I hung up and in a half hour she called me and I told her that she broke my fricken heart in a million pieces and that I wanted to never see her again in this life. I let her know that her keys were left at her house and to please give mine to a mutual friend to give to me. I did not scream,swear,or raise my voice in any way at all! I was a complete gentleman about it and then hung up on her. I have lost sleep not eaten much at all in the first week and was ready to lose my sobriety over this woman! (God helped me not to get drunk though so I thank him & you guys for this.)Its been about 16 days of NC for me but she is coming to my meetings now in the last few days and my heart wants to explode from seeing her there. Why she is coming there to my meetings I don't know(she went to other meetings not mine) but I do now believe she has left this guy in the last 4 or 5 days or he left her I don't know but in my heart I feel that they are no longer together. and now I'm wondering what to do about this??? I don't want her back after being with another man especially right after she just slept with me but I do want her back as she was the closest female I've ever felt a real connection to in my sober life? Please give me something to hold onto to deal with this as it is making me crazy as heck and dont know if she is coming back or if this is just a cold emotionally bankrupt woman that will never talk to me again and justs wants me to feel like death! I've acted like she wasn't there at my meetings and pretended to be my real happy self (God was that HARD to do to!) then just left for home after the meeting 2 days in a row! Please help me with this anyone!!?? I am so indebted to you guys already so I'm pleading for some answers???
WTRanger Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 Try actually using paragraphs. No one likes a sea of text. Re-format your first post in an edit, then you'll actually see people respond. No time to actually make your post readable? No time for us to respond. We don't like to have our eyes melt trying to read one long run-on story with no paragraph breaks. A long time ago, there were these things called books. And in these books, there was a lot of text. But, you see, that text was easy to read because the God's who wrote them figured out that if you break the text up into paragraphs, the peons of the world could read it.
radiodarcy Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 Try actually using paragraphs. No one likes a sea of text. Re-format your first post in an edit, then you'll actually see people respond. No time to actually make your post readable? No time for us to respond. We don't like to have our eyes melt trying to read one long run-on story with no paragraph breaks. A long time ago, there were these things called books. And in these books, there was a lot of text. But, you see, that text was easy to read because the God's who wrote them figured out that if you break the text up into paragraphs, the peons of the world could read it. i have to agree with WTRanger. i tried reading it but it's really hurting my eyes. i would like to respond. but it's really giving me a headache trying to read through it.
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