flirtatwork Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 Hi, I am new to this forum. I have been reading and having lots of fun around here and finally I decided to register. Sorry for the bad grammar So what I want to ask about, or talk about and maybe get your opinions about is this girl at work. I started working at this place about 7-8 months ago and the first day I worked there I was working with this girl we are talking about. At first it wasn't thinking about creating a relationship with any girl at all but I saw that this girl was very cute. After couple of months I'm already one of the team and im getting to know everyone at work very well and everybody likes me. After getting to know her better now I start to really like her and she just makes my day when I am at work, and we seem to have very good affect on each other. I start to flirt more and more, and she always giggles and likes the flirting and even flirts back. She had mentioned her ex-boyfriend before and I didnt really talk about that, but then she was talking about something and I heard her say boyfriend and I asked her if he wasn't her ex and if she said it was complicated, he asked her out again and and she was so stupid to say yes(he told me) I said what do you mean and something like that and she said sorry, like she really wanted to be with me. So the situation is like this. When I started flirting with her, that guy was her ex, and in the meantime he asked her out again. I just kept on flirting and didn't know that she was in a relationship until she said something about her boyfriend. So now I am really confused, I think she doesnt like this guy and wants to be with me, but she's giving me an hard time because it's complicated with them. She wants me to call her and talk to her, and she invited me to her apartment to chill and seems, and this guy seems to never be around. I have seen him come at work to meet her and he seems to me like a total douche. It seems she likes me very much and all that, but Isn't giving 100%, shes a very busy gal and shes always doing something and I want to take control and just ask her out and do something fun with her. What do you think about this, hope this is readable
Emissary Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 (edited) I'd advise you to be wary, perhaps you could pursue a relationship, but don't allow yourself to develop feelings for her until you know for certain she really digs you in that way. I got really attached to this girl I work with, I know now she doesn't feel the same about me, and I can't get over her, it's heartbreaking to work with her at times, especially when somebody she has feelings for comes up in discussion. And every now and then something happens between us, just little things, I misinterpret them nearly everytime for her changing the way she feels about me, I always think I have a chance, but I never do. Edited June 26, 2011 by Emissary
smudge21 Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 Sadly I would say the feelings are already starting to come through, and the fact she's not totally available will make you want her more. You need to focus on the facts and try to force yourself to see things clearly before you do become completely hooked. Her situation is very complicated and you need to keep reminding yourself of that. By all means keep talking, flirting, even seeing her as a friend and make it clear you are interested, but keep things at a safe distance until such time as you know things have changed. I've been here before at work, the girl with the on/off ex and I got heavily involved. Ignored the red flags and paid the price. She stayed with him, said what we had meant nothing (her mind had completely changed) and that was it - sadly I'd developed strong feelings for her and then seeing her each day at work just hurt so much. Only when I left that job did I get to clear my head and heal. I really hope things go differently for you, but I recognise the warning signs so I'm just trying to offer you some advice. Every situation is different so no one can really say how this will work out for you, but if my previous experience helps you out in some way, then at least that year I spent in pain wasn't a total waste. Speak to her. Share your concerns and find out the real truth before you make any decisions.
vsmini Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t284374/ ^ read that post that came up a few days ago - it's about a fellow LS'er who wants to end things with the girl he got interested in at work. NOT PRETTY. I've done it myself and it was a terrible outcome. Try it if you want but I've never heard of an office romance that ended very well - the odds are it will end in a very nasty way.
LadyFlame Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 Speaking as someone who's currently interested in 2 guys at work, dealing with one of them and who was having fun at work with another guy last year, I'd say go for it. It makes work so much more interesting. The only thing I'd say is, NEVER come on to the other person first. Wait for them to come onto you. That way, you don't run the risk of looking stupid in front of everyone if you get rejected. Forget about the ex; if she's even looking elsewhere it means they're not strong. He's probably just got the 'badboy' attraction.
Author flirtatwork Posted June 26, 2011 Author Posted June 26, 2011 Hi, and thanks for all the responses. I'm going to watch out for these warning signs you guys give me. I see it a bit clearer now. I'm not gonna stop just yet, but im going to keep my emotions in a safe distance, so if it will not work out, I will still be able to work with her. Sooo, now you have a little idea about my situation. I want to ask what should I do about asking her out, or doing something with her. I was 100% sure that she liked me was when she drove me home one night and I asked if I could come with her home and stuff it just happened and she really liked it and actually invited me to her place. I was so stupid/afraid to not say Yes immediately because at first I thought it wasn't like an invite, but just a "you can" . But later I told her that I want to meet her and do something with her but she's always busy, she said I got my chance then, and told I should be patient and call her sometime soon. I dont know where and how to strike, what to do with her, where to go. I really just want to hang out with her, chill not anything really planned, maybe watch a movie, or just talk in private aaaahhh I dont know. And If youd like to know, I dont drink alcahol or use any kind of drugs, I used to smoke cigarettes but I quit just 3 weeks ago. She drinks at weekends so its not really my time to strike when people usually go hunting lol.
sm1tten Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 Honestly, aside from the possible terribleness of the idea of dating someone you work with, this girl doesn't actually sound available or interested. If you are determined to go out with her then I guess you should do as she suggested, which is to call her and talk to her AS FRIENDS first and then you can see whether you should move forward towards some chill time or just back off.
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