Sansa Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 Thanks everyone for listening to me. It helps to get my thoughts out and get some feed back. Those of you who have read my previous post are aware of my problem with my husband. Well, I have become very emotionally sensitive toward anything he does. His talking seems to bring tears to my eyes. Tonight my sister was getting married, I was a bridesmaid. I was trying to be extra considerate toward my husband but we were running late and I needed to get with the rest of the girls. My husband was holding our baby and I was holding the diaper bag. I asked him where he wanted to sit so I could place the diaper bag there but he ignored me, I asked again, he ignored me, I asked once more and he said very load and angry just sit the damn diaper bag anywhere. I couldn't hold back the tears I just started crying in front of everyone perfusely. My family was upset and shocked I couldn't stop crying the tears just kept rolling and jere I'm suppose to be there for my sister. They continued to roll out of my eyes through the ceremony. He did apologize once he saw me crying but I felt so stupid. I am 5 months pregnant and I am not sure if my husband loves me anymore or how he feels about me. So when he is short and quick to frustrate it brings all these emotions up and I can't help but cry. I don't know what's wrong with me, he can make me cry at a drop of a hat. I wanted to work things out with him but I'm sick of being so emotional and I'm sick of how he makes me feel. He use to be much gentler with me. He was shocked that his actions made me cry he said he feels like there's nothing he does right and he can't make me happy. He said he hates looking ate knowing that I think he cheated on me. That it hurts him that I look at him that way so that makes him have a bad attitude and not want to be loving. I'm so emotionally tired of this and feeling this way I wonder if it would be easier to just divorce him and not have to feel this way or worry with him.
Author Sansa Posted June 26, 2011 Author Posted June 26, 2011 One more thing he says he can't believe our marriage is about to end based on petty crap. He said "I lied to you about dinner one time and now you dont trust me. He said it's so petty and our marriage is in this much turmoil I just can't believe it. He said he loves me but that knowing I think he cheated makes it hard for him to be affectionate or close to me cause it just feels fake. He said what we are arguing about is so stupid it makes him mad. But his actions that seem petty to him had a big effect on me. Plus the way he's talking to me. Does anyone understand him? He did say he loves me and feels he gives 100 percent of everything to me and our family but he skewed up one time and now I think he's aweful.
whichwayisup Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 Your homones are all out of whack and he should be more patient and understanding, more loving. When you said he lied about "one dinner" what do you mean, can you share more details about that? Was it with another woman and he lied/hid that from you? He IS being an ass.hole and fact that he made you cry is awful. Bottomline is, something is "off" and the way he is treating you isn't right. A man who treats his pregnant wife like crap, ignores her and makes her feel bad, IS a jerk! WTF is wrong with him! If you can afford it (or borrow money from a family member or trusted friend) I say, HIRE a PI. Just see what he is up to when out. I hope he isn't cheating. If he isn't cheating, a marriage shouldn't end on such petty stuff. Is it him that is saying the marriage is going to end? How can a man say that to the woman who is carrying his baby!
fltc Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 Have him read what you have written, that should help him to understand your feelings. Good luck!
scaredandalone1223 Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 When he originally lied about the dinner do you think it may have been that he didn't want to start an argument or he didn't want you to feel bad that he was out having dinner while away on business while you were at home pregnant and taking care of your one year old? When my husband has to travel to a manager's meeting or something else with work sometimes he and some of his co-workers go out. My husband is NOT big into the bar scene and rarely ever does a guys night out thing but when he is with them they may go to dinner and have a few beers. Sometimes it's strictly a business dinner and other times it's just he and his coworkers hanging out. In both instances he usually turns his phone to vibrate and calls me when he gets a chance. I'm not saying whether you husband is or is not cheating, but from what I've read on your other threads I do not see any major red flags. As always trust your gut but I remember very well how my hormones were during my pregnancies and they can make your mind play tricks on you. I also don't believe trying to go with him every times he needs to travel is going to help things. If he is not cheating it is only going to push him away because he believes you do not trust him and are mothering him. And if he is cheating it is going to give him more of a reason to want to get away. I'm not saying not to keep an eye on him if you truly believe in your heart he is cheating, but also don't let your emotions create something that isn't really there and push him away because of it.
scaredandalone1223 Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 One other note in response to his behavior at the wedding. That type behavior is NEVER good BUT looking at it from his point of view. Let's just say he's not cheating. You have been pressuring him about one time he went out, while away on business, where he did not tell you everything up front. This could be for a multitude of reasons ranging from something very innocent on his part, what started out as a business dinner then a few people decided to go out so he went with the flow, to something much more...we really don't know... But even after you have confronted him and he explained you keep bringing it up. If he's not cheating then he has said everything there is to say yet you keep at him day after day. Almost as if the only way you will be satisfied is for him to say yes I'm cheating. With all this and being at a wedding, not a man's favorite place to be anyway...at least not any of the men I've ever known. He's bound to be in a bad mood. I'm not saying he was right but until you guys both sit down and work through this I would imagine his mood is going to be slightly off. Like I said I do not know if he's cheating or not but basing it off one evening while he was around business associates, whether for formal business or hanging out and having a little fun with his business associates is not fair to him if he has indeed never cheated. As for distancing himself that could be for a multitude of reasons too. Dealing with stress at work, having a small child with another on the way, having his wife throw accusations at him...men are distant at times, especially when they're stressed. It is part of their nature. Focus on helping him relive some of that stress, not add to it. I can say from experience, men desire feeling appreciated. They may not always vocalize it but the do desire it. So start by doing some little things to show him you still care and how much you love and appreciate him. Not ever guy goes looking for a new woman everytimes things aren't all rainbows so try to think positive. If he is cheating there will be other signs...hard evidence in phone calls, texts, emails, social networking. If you see any of these by all means get tough on him. Until then try to focus on the good things you have going for your marriage. I'm not saying not to keep an eye out but don't push him away for something that he very well may not be doing.
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