Is it a rebound if you have been left for someone else?

[Corazura]

So I know it’s important to not sit back and categorize a breakup and what not. But after reading lots of threads I had a general question.

 

Can it be considered a rebound if you were left for someone else? Hear me out.

 

Technically in these cases the dumper has disconnected from the relationship and has started looking outside for something else. They feel that they aren’t getting what they need. In a typical rebound situation, the dumper doesn't string someone along, but rather ends things and then goes looking. To me this is very similar to how a dumper leaves for someone else. The only difference is that in one case they pretend to be still with you. In both cases they have not really spent any time alone to properly deal with the breakup.

 

I know some people say that rebounds are when people are desperately looking for something to fill a void in their lives. But aren’t dumpers who leave for someone else also trying to fill a void as well? They just decide to fool their partner until they have found someone who fills this void.

 

What do you people think? Are these situations when you are left for someone else similar to rebounds?

[thelovingkind]

The difference is that when you're left for someone else, your ex-partner's feelings for you have died, the pleasurable neural pathways associated with you have burnt out, and they have sparked up anew for someone else.

 

With rebound, your feelings have not died, the pleasurable neural pathways are still firing, but instead of letting them flicker out slowly on their own you plug them straight into someone or something else to keep the positive energy flowing. Of course, the plug never quite fits the new socket so eventually everything burns down

[errlack]

in both cases attraction has died. the difference, i think, lies in the character of the dumper. It's very difficult to leave someone when the immediate alternative is being alone.

[ShatteredDreams]

I don't know if my ex is in a rebound or not. We had been together for 2 years, 5 months. The last 5 months were extremely miserable, she developed feelings for my close friend, and she would constantly pick arguments with me for no reason at times. I was really mean to her in the last argument, broke up with her, and said really nasty things.

 

Then I ended up begging and crying for her to take me back but she really hated me and said she doesn't want me to be a part of her life.

 

Her and my friend were seeing each other but she denied it until after cutting off contact with me for a month. During that month, I had attempted suicide, and she cut off all contact with me.

 

Now she is with my friend, happy and smiling all the time.

 

With him she gets everything she wants, including a family because I had to keep her a secret for so long from my family due to my religious Muslim family.

 

What hurt the most is that when we first had sex, it was after being together for like 6-7 months, with my friend it was in the first few weeks. Also, everything she did to me (control who I talk to etc.) she already began that process with him, with me it took after like the first year.