Why are woman more likely to forgive a mans indiscretion before that of a girlfriend

[CostumeSmile]

Why are woman more likely to forgive a mans (boyfriend,lover or husband) indiscretion before that of a girlfriend?

 

For example I've known many woman who have time and time again forgiven their boyfriend, lover, husband for screwing up yet when a girlfriend screws up it's over for good.

 

One situation in particular was when one of my friends found out that another of our close friends was dating a guy she used to date, she completely cut her off and refuses till today to ever speak with her again. Now this is the same girlfriend who would constantly forgive her "boy"friend for his indiscretions.

 

I've heard stories of woman who's girlfriends have kissed their boyfriend and they end up completely hating the girl yet forgiving the guy? I mean most time the girlfriend is who you've know much longer and have the more concrete relationship with.

 

I told her and this is how I feel about the matter in general.....

 

If a woman can forgive a boyfriend, lover or husband than she can certainly forgive a close friend who has been there much longer than any guy!

[Pyrannaste]

I think many girls who have been in such a situation will eventually forgive their friend... but ONLY after they have broken up with the guy.

 

There are also a few cases in which the girl will dump the guy's ass and forgive the friend. This expecially happens when it is the friend who confesses first, and feels genuinely sorry, and is no longer interested in the guy. (And the guy hasn't had time to give his own version of what happened. )

 

You will also notice that men, too, would often NOT forgive the friend even if they don't break up with their girlfriend.

 

Kissing your best friend's SO usually is a major deal breaker to friendships. The first rule in friendship is keeping hands off your best friend's SO.

 

You wrote that the friend has been there for longer than the guy.

Well, this is exactly what should have crossed the friend's mind before kissing the guy.

[lostforwords]

You wrote that the friend has been there for longer than the guy.

Well, this is exactly what should have crossed the friend's mind before kissing the guy.

 

Exactly!!!!!!!!

[EnigmaXOXO]

I suppose it’s because we expect more loyalty from someone who's known us longer and we consider a close friend and confidant. The longer we know someone, and the closer we become to them, the more painful and shocking the betrayal.

[tattoomytoe]

because all us girls KNOW and EXPECT guys to F*ck up..... but we women are perfect. therefore, we can forgive a guy...but your girl friend should know better!

[MarKus]

I usually find that some girls/women think, especially if one of there best friends cheated on there own boyfriend "Its ok"

 

But if a bloke cheats "he's the scum of the earth"

 

 

i hate anybody who does it

[Bobbie]

There are a number of double standards which apply to men! guess the age of patriarchy ain't over quite yet.

 

But it's an unspoken rule that you don't mess with a friend's life/emotions of either sex. I'd forgive someone eventually but the friendship would probably be spoiled.

[Fedup&givingup]

Honestly, I think it's because us women are expected to endure more crap. When a man does something, it's almost "un lady like" if we are harsh or just break things off with them...we are deemed the ultimate b!tch.

 

When a man does something, he's forever the righteous, level headed HERO for dumping the girl for her slutty ways.

 

It's a double standard, is what it is. The same things that boost a man's reputation are the same things that degrade a woman's.

 

Flame on.

[CurlyIam]

Well, I guess it's because no matter how good friends women are, a man-woman relationships always bears something special. When hitting on another's friend ex, it's like your part of the competition.

 

I forgot to say that I think women are very competitive between themselves. But friends don't compete. Or aren't supposed to. That's why is so much better not to "touch" any of the exes. It helps preserving friends and I believe it's a true affirmation for men and women both.

 

Telling them first, asking them... I don't believe in this bull. When you decide to go out with an ex, you choose the ex over your friend. So the ex would better desirve it.

[FolderWife]

:lol: If my best friend kissed my husband then told me about it, I'd dump him, but I'd thank her for helping me to realize what a jerk I married :lol:

 

I guess it depends on the situation. If the guy comes and apologizes, then you can forgive him. I don't think that usually the friend will come and apologize, because she'll think it's nunya!

[DJ Dave]

Returning to the question, an interesting one:

 

Why are woman (people) more likely to forgive a mans (lovers) indiscretion before that of a girlfriend (good friend)

 

I think it's ego. It's the same reason that a person will argue a point they KNOW is WRONG 'till their face is red. They are defending their poor doe eyed little child inside, not some unimportant piece of information.

 

When a friend slips you the zucchini without KY (I means SCREWS you) it's embarrassing. Everyone you both know knows about it or potentially could. They smile at you and talk with you and you've been with them long – you TRUSTED them. It's also embarrassing when a lover tiptoes out of your friends back door, but you hardly trusted them the same. The relationship with a lover (despite what the relationship gurus often say) is NOT based on TRUST (it's based on so many other things, like chemistry, attraction, lust, emotional compatibility or friction, adrenalin, EGO . . . trust might SUPPORT it but it doesn't cause it, or Nice guys would finish first, wouldn't they?) while a friendship is often based on and built around and mired in TRUST.

 

Examples of this are the lamppost confessions used against key figures in the mob, conversations shared with Friends, in "that thing of theirs," not with lovers – who would tell a new lover that they whacked someone?

[FolderWife]

Dave makes a very interesting point!

 

I trusted my husband to a point, until certain circumstances came to the surface. Now, there are some things I trust him on (like I'd trust him to pick me up from work on time if he was supposed to) but there are things that I don't trust him on (like when he promises never to look at Playboy again).

 

My mom never trusted my dad per se...she expected him to be a certain way, but she always questioned in her mind whether or not he was doing the things he said he was at all times.

 

And to my dad, his word meant EVERYTHING. He would never lie to anyone. If he told you he would help you build your garage in the snow, but he came down with the flu, he'd still be there to help you build your garage.

 

My husband isn't like that. He'll tell someone, "yeah, I'll be there." then he just doesn't show up.

 

My best friend, I trust her with WAY more intimate secrets than with my husband. I know in my heart that I would NEVER EVER do anything with her husband. However, I feel in my heart that if things got bad enough at home, that I would leave him.

 

Hmmmm...lots and lots to think about.