candid_xo Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 My boyfriend of over 2 years and I aren't the same anymore. We barely talk, and whatever fun we have feels forced. His family knows he is very hard to put up with. His mother has even told me "better you than me". I am also a big...B*%&h when we fight and I just go home. I havent seen him or spoken to him on the phone all day and he has asked me twice via text message if I still want to be with him. I know we are going to end soon, but I also know that even if he knows, everything is going to blow up. I still care for him and know that if things get too dramatic, I will end up hating him. How should I go about this. His family is very close to me (his mom will call me when we are fighting and i have the key to his house).
Ginger Beer Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 My boyfriend of over 2 years and I aren't the same anymore. We barely talk, and whatever fun we have feels forced. His family knows he is very hard to put up with. His mother has even told me "better you than me". I am also a big...B*%&h when we fight and I just go home. I havent seen him or spoken to him on the phone all day and he has asked me twice via text message if I still want to be with him. I know we are going to end soon, but I also know that even if he knows, everything is going to blow up. I still care for him and know that if things get too dramatic, I will end up hating him. How should I go about this. His family is very close to me (his mom will call me when we are fighting and i have the key to his house). Do you want to end it? Sounds like you do.
Author candid_xo Posted June 26, 2011 Author Posted June 26, 2011 I do, I just don't want it to end horribly. I know we aren't going to be friends & I wouldn't want that. Honestly, if I had the choice. I would just rather slink off quietly, change my number, and get off of social networking sites...as cowardly as that sounds. He's a good guy, but he has a lot of growing up to do. He can't really control his emotions so I know he'll take it overboard no matter how I go about it.
Ginger Beer Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 I do, I just don't want it to end horribly. I know we aren't going to be friends & I wouldn't want that. Honestly, if I had the choice. I would just rather slink off quietly, change my number, and get off of social networking sites...as cowardly as that sounds. He's a good guy, but he has a lot of growing up to do. He can't really control his emotions so I know he'll take it overboard no matter how I go about it. Well I think you should just be honest and say you don't want to be in the relationship anymore. Explain why. Don't say anything like 'I still care about you but...' or 'I still love you however...', just say what needs to be said. Hopefully someone more knowledgeable and experienced can offer better advice.
0hpenelope Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 (edited) I do, I just don't want it to end horribly. I know we aren't going to be friends & I wouldn't want that. Honestly, if I had the choice. I would just rather slink off quietly, change my number, and get off of social networking sites...as cowardly as that sounds. He's a good guy, but he has a lot of growing up to do. He can't really control his emotions so I know he'll take it overboard no matter how I go about it. Well... that's the stuff that comes along with the territory. You want your freedom and he needs to get over the relationship, so if not being friends with you will help him get there, then he's going to make it happen. Just don't drag it out and try to "make nice." Own up to your reasons, be as honest as possible with him, answer the questions you can answer, then as much as possible, don't entertain his contact post-break up. You've pointed out things about him, but I'm sure you have stuff going on at your end, too: namely, your feelings for your ex from 3 years ago. The decisions that you made to seek out information concerning him aren't from a platonic mindset and while I understand that you're doing that because you're detached (or detaching) from your current relationship, you have to let your current bf go. As soon as possible. Besides, since you want your ex back, you can't make the effort as long as you're attached. Break it off, heal, and go from there. If I were in your situation, I'd take a good look at why you're really wanting your ex back from 3 years ago, considering that things are not-so-great with your bf. I suppose it can be said that you've had 3 years to think about it so of course you're sure, but you've been attached to one guy for 2 years after that break up. You wouldn't have stayed with him for that long if you didn't care. Don't make your ex from 3 years ago your rebound. The guy doesn't deserve it. Better yet, I think you should leave him alone and not even consider dating anyone; just so you can have a clearer head and you won't feel so emotional about a break up and a hope for reconciliation w/ a different love interest. Those are two double whammies to deal with in a short period of time. Give yourself space to get over things. Edited June 27, 2011 by 0hpenelope
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