scarlett27 Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 and i am reduced to a blubbering wreck !! its been less then 2 weeks since he finished with me - i thought he was going to marry me etc he promised me kids etc , i have been keeping very busy etc , and hardly have cried - but have immersed myself in being busy , so tonite been watching abit of glastonbury and some songs actually physically make me ache - its seems its two steps forward and 5 steps back sometimes does anyone else find music really painful after a break up ? thanks
JR2315 Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 When I was with my ex we basically shared songs to each other that we liked on a daily basis. So most of those are on my ipod and I can barely listen to them without getting this terrible aching feeling on my chest. We had one favorite song which was "I Hear a symphony" by the Jackson 5. That was our song which pretty much described how we felt with each other. Now it hurts like hell to listen to it and I always wonder how she feels when she hears that song
MissMoni Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 Scarlett, it will get better. And don't be so harsh on yourself! Less than 2 weeks? You have full permission to be upset as you want to right now, believe me. The first MONTH after my ex ended things I did not eat. Not condoing that at all...but I also cried everyday for like two months. The crying everyday has stopped, but it's been 8 months and every now again I see or hear something and still cry. It is a process. I know how bad you are hurting now. It's going to be hard to get your mind off of it because I know at least for me in the first 2 weeks everything and everyone I saw reminded me of him. Do you have any friends you can go out with? Being alone isn't good, and your friends can help take your mind off things. Please don't be down on yourself, this is only natural to feel this way so close after a heartbreak. I actually read a study where it said that those suffering from heartbreak tended to feel physical pain. No shame in feeling this way. But he doesn't deserve your tears! Use this time to remember why YOU are awesome. and you are!
Author scarlett27 Posted June 26, 2011 Author Posted June 26, 2011 thank u for the reply im sorry you feel as bad as i do it literally hurts physically it makes u wonder if u should ever get involved again - mabye i need to have a nite of listning to songs that i have been avoiding , just to get it out of my system - same in a few shops i have been they have played songs and i have had to leave silly really , its just music is so emotive , god love hurts or should i say lack of lol x
Author scarlett27 Posted June 26, 2011 Author Posted June 26, 2011 Miss Moni - loved ur reply also thank you !!! your right i think i am being a bit hard on myself it is only 2 weeks - i have loads of brilliant friends i have not wanted to shower some days but they have pulled me out and we have gone out and u know what u feel better i think tonites a bad nite but i will get through and tommorow is another day and the sun will shine xx thanks guys x
JR2315 Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 same in a few shops i have been they have played songs and i have had to leave silly really , its just music is so emotive , god love hurts or should i say lack of lol x Omg I was working at my job a few days ago and they played a song that me and my ex shared. I couldnt just run away while i was working lol but it hurt sooooo much. What I found though is just quickly distract myself from focusing on the music. I just started talking to my co workers and eventually the song ended. Sucks! Never realized how many songs there are about love
lovesickmonkey Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 Scarlet27, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. It is extremely painful and difficult when you have firmly envisioned having a person share your life with you ... marriage, children, etc. only to have that vision destroyed forever. And for you it was so recent. Yes, music is terribly difficult. Most great songs were written by people in the throes of terrible passion or sorrow and in your heightened emotional state, hearing them can cause great pain. The advice I heard is to "go through" the pain and not around it. Experience the terrible grief. Cry when you feel like it. It's a process that we go through to heal ourselves from the loss. I'm about 6 weeks into this and it is better than it was a month ago but still rotten. I hear songs and see pictures or find items and I'm a wreck. I still refer to doing things by saying, "We ... " "we make that for dinner all the time," and I'm a wreck all over. Hang in there and keep chatting on this site.
Author scarlett27 Posted June 26, 2011 Author Posted June 26, 2011 thank u love sick and jr , so right and i think defo have to go through the pain rather then avoiding it , i feel raw u know ? every blimmin song has some sort of meaning at the moment its so stupid , hurts like hell but this site has helped me so much and there are some lovely people on here at least we all know we are all going through the same crap x
Author scarlett27 Posted June 26, 2011 Author Posted June 26, 2011 oh god some sick twisted bit of fate john waite's missing you just came on fabulous !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JR2315 Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 (edited) Well can I recommend some songs to you?? I used these songs to vent out and at first it was extremely painful to listen to them because of the lyrics but now I find that it just relaxes me. Tell me what you think! Misery: Glee Cast Let it Be: Beatles F**k You: Cee Lo Green Rhythm of Love: Plain White T's That Should be Me: Justin Bieber (YES! Heartbreak can cause Bieber Fever) I Say A Little Prayer: Aretha Franklin Edited June 26, 2011 by JR2315
lovesickmonkey Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 I love how there seem to be equal numbers of forum participants from the USA and the UK. It's reassuring that this miserable heartbreak is a global phenomenon.
Author scarlett27 Posted June 26, 2011 Author Posted June 26, 2011 Lol thank u Jr - just had a major sob !! at least ill sleep tonite now as my eyes are swollen lol - i also like kellis - i hate u so much right now , eamon - **** u i dont want u back thats the thing there are loads of songs for people in love but few for broken hearts i am going to youtube some of ur suggestions now thank u very much ;-) i also like nicole - pussy cat dolls new song - dont hold ur breathe thatsa good one thank u guys i feel better for speaking to you on here i am going to have to get through tonite i was tempted to ring him for the first time since we split because the songs were that emotive , but then i turned over and heard beyonce - all the single ladies and i got some dignity back well as much dignity as u can over listning to beyonce lol xx
JR2315 Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 Jr check out glees song - when you see my face hope it gives u hell x The msg to that song always made me laugh. But at the same time its sort of relies on hate lmao. One Love http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q75AAdhfQHM
JR2315 Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 OMG youre a Gleek as well lmao thats sooooo cool! I find that many of their songs help me relax. I dont think we can add each other as friends because Private Messages is through paid subscription only.
dicky_fish Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 27 songs I've got on playlist that I've been listening to to get my emotions out: Monaco - What Do You Want From Me Puddle of Mudd - Blurry Queensryche - Jet City Woman Queen - Love of My Life Queen - It's A Hard Life Shania Twain - You're Still The One Shania Twain - Forever and For Always Jeff Wayne - Forever Autumn Katy Perry - Teenage Dream Katy Perry - Hummingbird Heartbeat Fleetwood Mac - Go Your Own Way Fleetwood Mac - Dreams Beach Boys - God Only Knows System of a Down - Lonely Day Nickelback - Far Away Nickelback - I'd Come For You Seether - Love Her (check out this video she sent me this just a week before she broke up with me, go figure) Seether - Broken Stone Sour - Miracles Me - The Long Distance (a song I wrote for her a few years ago) Incubus - Wish You Were Here Incubus - I Miss You Kiss - Forever B.o.B - Airplanes Metallica - Nothing Else Matters Rammstein - Stirb Nicht Vor Mir Stone Sour - Hesitate Those last 7 were on a mixtape she made me this valentines day, makes me wonder if any of those songs have any meaning behind them now. Hesitate has me in pieces every time I listen to it because the lyrics really ring true to me and my circumstance Love of My Life is also a real tear jerker. Ah Freddie - he knew exactly how to put those emotions all us heart-broken are going through...
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