watshername Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 So it's been 10 months since my ex broke up with me and shattered my heart. I was devastated and it was the worst time of my life, I did not deal with it well at all. Now however, I know we aren't right together and I do not want to be back with him and no for certain this won't happen as he is with someone else now which I am ok with. We still talk every now and then and it's cool. I feel I have moved on from him but I haven't moved on from the hurt that I experienced. It's so deep routed that I am so afraid to be with anyone new. I don't know what I want in a person anymore and find I am not even giving people a chance to show themselves as someone that could be good for me. I feel that I can't possibly love someone like I did my ex, so innocently, naively, so unafraid. I didn't know how much hurt I could actually feel and I couldn't bare to put myself through that again. I just don't know what to do really and would love some advice.
smudge21 Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 Sadly it sounds like you haven't moved on yet, but don't beat yourself up over that. There is no set time limit for healing from this. I know I'm not anywhere near over my ex so I'm not looking for anyone else, I'm just trying to enjoy being single and doing what I want to do, when I want to do it. You can't force yourself to heal and be over someone - you do that and you're only masking how you really feel, and that can only lead to more heartbreak in the future. You will love again, as will I, but it will take time. In fact, you probably won't realise you're healed until you meet someone and you're able to be with them without even thinking about your ex. I know from my own past that the healing process just seems to happen; you think you'll never be over someone, and then you're seeing someone else... it's hard to explain, but we do all heal eventually.
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