I know you're not supposed to assume things, but for the sake of NC... ?

[california15]

I'm taking this NC thing pretty seriously because I'm determined to heal and move on. Haven't looked back really since I got the phone call. Almost at a month NC now so I don't want to break it by any means. And If I'm really going to heal, I feel that I need to be NC from his family and his close friends since all they'll do is just remind me of him. I love his family so much it would break my heart to see them.

 

My ex and I were close friends with his cousin "Bob" and "Sally" who were married and a few years older than us. My ex and Bob's birthdays fall around the same time and they have this big huge 4th of july/combined birthday barbique get-together. Usually every year before this I'd go over early and help Sally set up, cook, decorate etc.

 

Well since my ex is now living with his new gf, it's pretty self-explanatory that I will not be attending this function, right?. Sally's a girl, I'm sure she's been through a broken heart before... and will know I won't be there.

 

Can I assume she knows I'm not coming, will not be there to help set up since my ex has a new girl?

 

Thoughts? Don't want to break NC... even if it is for this.

[just_scott]

ya know i think sally probably thinks you wont be attending the party ,especially if she knows your ex will be showing up with his new girl .that would be hard for you to deal with seeing that and probably be an uncomfortable situation IT sucks we feel like we're dodging or avoiding our ex's like a disease BUT it's the things you do to heal and move on right

[WTRanger]

I'd say it's fairly safe to assume she knows you won't be over. And if not, when you don't show, she should be smart enough to put the puzzle pieces together.

 

I think she'd be more surprised if you actually showed up.

[MissMoni]

I agree. I think that when things like this happen, that people will expect us to be hurt and won't expect us to go out of the way to be around those who us. I agree with WTRanger, she probably would think it was really odd of you to come. It would probably make things uncomfortable for everyone involved.

[california15]

ok thanks guys. You all pretty much solidified what I was thinking.

 

I don't want to leave her hanging - but I feel I need to disappear from their lives too - I feel like I've made progress and reaching out would only make me upset and set me back a little.