Jono85 Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 I understand the shallowness of this question, so don't attack me! But I'm curious. We all have our insecurities. Lets say we were to fix a couple of them. Eg. a bald guy, restores his hair, an overweight woman gets fit, someone with poor social skills becomes a great speaker, a big nose is fixed, etc etc etc. I'm curious how many of you would want to upgrade and find someone more attractive if you somehow became noticably more attractive yourself. Basically if you were getting much more attention from girls/guys that were a little out of your league before, would you be content with who you are with, or do you think it would eventually destroy your current relationship??
somedude81 Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 If my looks were improved a few points I might actually have a SO...
Ginger Beer Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 I can only speak for myself but I don't think I would (can't say for definite as I'm not in that situation). There are plenty of attractive girls who've shown interest in me and I've not been interested in them because we had no connection. I'd date any girl if there was a connection there. Like if she felt like a best friend and I was at ease with her and loved spending time with her, that's be the main thing. That in itself would make her a lot more attractive to me. I don't see why me being any different would change that, other than more girls potentially being attracted to me and widening my options a bit.
nyc_guy2003 Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 This is a good question. When I met my wife in my mid-20s she was definitely a more attractive woman than I was a man. I'm in my early 30s now, and since then: -My income level has gone up dramatically and I made it up to a senior level position in my industry -I've gotten in better shape physically -Thanks to my wife, my sense of style has dramatically improved -My confidence and people skills have grown -I haven't really aged from an appearance standpoint and still look the same as I did in my early 20s with a full head of hair That being said, I would never consider leaving my wife for another woman. There is definitely temptation though and I have a lot more frequent interaction with insanely attractive women these days due to my career status. Part of the reason I joined this forum was to figure out how to keep my impulses/frustrations in check, and reading about all the stories of affairs, addictions, broken marriages, etc. definitely helps to keep me grounded in reality.
Janesays Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 Uh, no. Never. Then again, I happen to be insanely attracted to my guy to the point where I haven't noticed anyone else in a long time.
make me believe Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 I would not, but I think a lot of people do this. Usually if they are overweight or get some kind of plastic surgery (boob job). Once they are 'improved' they suddenly have more options and the poor person they settled for before isn't good enough anymore. It's sad and unfair to their partner. 1
rafallus Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 I'm only interested in females I already consider attractive, so no.
threebyfate Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 Not a chance. I love my man in his entirety, so the thought of upgrading would be ridiculous to me since there's no one who outshines all of him, from the inside out.
Sweetie1977 Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 Yes,if someone offered you a better job with more money would you say no?
Wolf18 Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 A lot more would do it than are willing to admit. Humans are fickle creatures.
thelovingkind Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 I'm only interested in females I already consider attractive, so no. This. I sometimes will rank people out of 10 in a detached sense for the sake of conversation, but typically I do not experience my sexual attraction to a partner on a scale like that. It's either on in a big way or it's off. I'm never with someone when it's off, and if it's on it's also wrapped up in loving, emotional feelings which, no matter how much more attractive I were, would give my partner an edge over anyone else. What is more feasible, is that if I became more attractive, and my partner then left me, that I would in the long run look back and be glad that I got the chance to get a more attractive partner because of it.
Richard Friedman Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 Questions like this are only useful when the participant is hooked up to a polygraph machine.
Arikel Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 wouldn't upgrade my partner, just his libido ^^^^ This!! Haha! Anyway my reasoning is that if I upgraded my looks, that would keep him on his toes. I wouldn't upgrade the SO, I'd just enjoy the extra attention
Author Jono85 Posted June 26, 2011 Author Posted June 26, 2011 (edited) Questions like this are only useful when the participant is hooked up to a polygraph machine. true. i figured that b/c we were on an internet forum maybe ppl could answer honestly, but you're right i doubt they would admit to that if it were the case. to the ppl saying i already find my SO attractive, and no one outshines him etc etc...i have some issues there. i've obviously ALWAYS been very attracted to my girlfriends, but at the same time i'm not going to sit and pretend they are the most atractive girls i've ever seen. and sure inside/personality they might be, but that's only b/c you aren't currently pursuing any other people and getting to know any other ppl on a deep level. i don't believe everyone has ONE person out there they are destined for or anything. i believe ppl can connect and fall in love with TONS of different ppl and be completely happy for life with TONS of ppl etc. i haven't been in this situation really, so i'm not sure how i'd handle it. but for the most part I do feel there are different levels of attractiveness, and most ppl probably date within their level. i mentioned "looks" in the thread title but i mean overall attractiveness (ie. intelligence, social skills, etc). why i was curious about this subject is i'm currently dating (early stages, few weeks) a girl that, yes i'm very attracted to and she turns me on quite a lot, but at the same time i kind of know i can and have done better (when i say better i mean strictly looks, and career prospects, ie. not personality so much). but she is such a sweet person, and i love how caring she is (and lots of other things about her). but i really don't want to hurt her (she's falling for me hard) and i'm afraid once things start picking up for me (i'm unemployed, broke, just bad frame of mind) and my confidence comes back i'm going to be wanting someone more attractive (ie. better career prospects, more intellectual, more attractive, etc). but then again, like i said she turns me on plenty, and she's the sweetest girl i've ever met, and i DO value that a LOT, so i may not want anyone "hotter". i'm just a little fearful of it. i guess i'll just sort of see how things go, b/c i already feel like my feelings for her have developed more and more. i just know what it's like to have someone you love (and once loved you) leave you for someone else, and i'd never want to do that to anyone! but probs not something i can really control much in the short term. Edited June 26, 2011 by Jono85
Untouchable_Fire Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 I understand the shallowness of this question, so don't attack me! But I'm curious. We all have our insecurities. Lets say we were to fix a couple of them. Eg. a bald guy, restores his hair, an overweight woman gets fit, someone with poor social skills becomes a great speaker, a big nose is fixed, etc etc etc. I'm curious how many of you would want to upgrade and find someone more attractive if you somehow became noticably more attractive yourself. Basically if you were getting much more attention from girls/guys that were a little out of your league before, would you be content with who you are with, or do you think it would eventually destroy your current relationship?? It's very common for women to begin cheating after a breast augmentation. From time to time I put on weight due to my work schedule. I value the women that don't stop being attracted to me during those periods. I've dated both types... and it's better to find someone who loves you ugly than someone who loves you more attractive.
LadyFlame Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 Of course, the betterlooking you are the wider the selection. I#'m a case of the ugly duckling turnining into a swan; I rapidly watched the guys in my life get betterlooking as the years went by.
jazzbee Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 If i was to become significantly more attractive or w.e i wouldn't leave who i was with for anyone.. That person would love me just as i am either way
Leigh 87 Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 No. I have actually gotten out my my usual shape, and I am really really looking forward to getting back in to shape, losing a little weight, and getting back to my best. If I was back to my old great shape with my much better body, there is NO WAY I would even want any other guy; my current boyfriend wld actually motivate me to look better, so that in turn, he would also enjoythe benifits of my up - graded body and looks....... The only affect me losing weight and up grading my appearance would have on me, is that is REALLY turns me on to think about how much my boyfriend would appreciate my body when I work harder at it. I am just really turned on by my boyfriends reaction to me working harder on my body; it makes me want my boyfriend more, as I love him and it would make me feel happy, him being pleasantly surprised and perhaps more physically turned on by a better body on me. Lastly; I like the way my boyfriend looks; i didnt know about it at first, but I love him and find him to be very, very atytractive now. I think that loving a person or falling in love with a guy makes you view them as attractive enough to do it for you......... You would have to be obsessed with looks to up grade If you were already in a semi serious or serious relationship; for instance, if you are in love and definitely enjoy spending most of your time with them and thigns are good with you, a mere better looking guy physically would nto be worth saying goodbye to the whole notion of being with a person you love ( as this feeling exceeds the superior fixations of a better looking body...)
Ruby Slippers Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 This is a good question. When I met my wife in my mid-20s she was definitely a more attractive woman than I was a man. I'm in my early 30s now, and since then: -My income level has gone up dramatically and I made it up to a senior level position in my industry -I've gotten in better shape physically -Thanks to my wife, my sense of style has dramatically improved -My confidence and people skills have grown -I haven't really aged from an appearance standpoint and still look the same as I did in my early 20s with a full head of hair That being said, I would never consider leaving my wife for another woman. There is definitely temptation though and I have a lot more frequent interaction with insanely attractive women these days due to my career status. Part of the reason I joined this forum was to figure out how to keep my impulses/frustrations in check, and reading about all the stories of affairs, addictions, broken marriages, etc. definitely helps to keep me grounded in reality. And surely your healthy relationship with her helped you make all these strides forward in your career, fitness, and other areas, yes? Seems really unjust and uncaring to "upgrade", given that. As for the question, no, I would not want to exchange my partner for a different one just because I suddenly looked better. Physical appearance is such a small factor in the equation. Without good internal qualities, good looks are almost meaningless to me. I don't look at anyone skin deep -- I consider them as a whole.
Arasae Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 My answer to this is no.. but maybe that's because I'm already horribly arrogant about the sum of my parts, lol. When I was about ten, I looked in the mirror and decided that I was pretty and awesome and smart. It's only gotten worse from there! I've always held the attitude that I would be able to attract whomever I pleased, and so far, I've never been disappointed. With that in mind, I've never really thought, "Oh, if only x, y, or z were different about me--then I could date the doctor! But alas..." I don't normally talk about it, but I am the least modest person I know inside my own head. My current boyfriend is about 90% my physical ideal--gorgeous blue eyes, blond hair, great smile, tall enough to make me feel feminine... The other 10% that's not "perfect" is that he's got a runner's physique rather than a muscle-man's. More than what he looks like, he's the most intelligent man I've ever encountered (and that is saying something), has an unrivaled sense of integrity, an unswervable moral compass, a well-developed sense of responsibility in all aspects of his life, a public speaking ability that makes me want to jump him every time he gives some long speech, a dorky, playful side, and he makes me feel good about who I am and what I've accomplished in life. Sure, he's not "perfect"--he can certainly be arrogant (pot calling the kettle black here), he's not as adventurous as me (but he lets me go sky-diving and waits for me at the bottom, lol), and we've had our rough patches, but overall, he's about as close to "ideal" for me as they come. ...Methinks I should hold onto him. =)
Rinas Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 I get plenty of males interested in me now, I have not decided to 'upgrade'. I'm pretty much content with my physical appearance. If I were unhappy with my SO, id leave the relationship. I wouldn't be looking for a better model.
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