candid_xo Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 (edited) January of 2008, I broke up with my boyfriend. A little about our relationship: To me, he was perfect..to the point where I doubted everything. At the time, I had really low self esteem so I had him on this pedestal. I also was very stupid and was never able to say I'm sorry for things I had done wrong. He was also very rude sometimes. The last breakup we had is because he told me these words "you know when a boyfriend doesn't listen to a girlfriend, the girlfriend feels unloved. well when a girlfriend doesnt listen to a boyfriend, the boyfriend feels unloved". Kinde hurtful. I decided to end it, but I still loved him. At the end of the day, it was my belief that he just needed a different girl. I just wanted him to be happy. A few months go by without speaking and I see he has a new girlfriend. I didn't think she was right for him, but as liing as he's happy, good for him. I decided to send him a message. Not to become his best friend, acquaintance...anything. Just to simply say that if he ever needed anything from me, not to hesitate, because I would be there for him. ( I had basically realized what I had lost). I knew the answer I deserved and the answer that I would probably get, but decided that if there were even a .001% chance that I might actually get a positive response, that it was worth it. He told me never to speak to him again, and so I left him alone. Over the next year or so I dated another guy and he continued dating his girlfriend. I was not happy in my relationship, so I ended it, and I still thought about my ex. They went on a trip to NC and he had always wanted to take me there. I would always pray for signs that we were meant to be together in the end. My mother has seen him around, but to me, he's basically disappeared off the planet. I still love him. I still want to speak to him. I don't feel like I have closure, and I finally feel like I'm the person that he wanted me to be when we were going out. I just needed to grow up a little. He isn't in his relationship anymore. And I am totally over mine. Is there a way I can get him back without seeming like a stalker? What do I do? I want to leave it up to fate, but I really do miss him. I know he's the love of my life. Edited June 25, 2011 by candid_xo
wilsonx Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 (edited) YOU SOUND LIKE MY EX JUST LIKE HER. MY EX is just like you and I still to this day love her and wish she would better herself and come find me DO YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT FROM MY EX. I WANT HER TO COME FIND ME AND APOLOGIZE TO ME. Will it happen, probably not but what you did and are doing is what she is doing to me now. I personally do not care about the past, I can forgive and forget but I do want that one that I believed in for so long to grow up, be a better person and come find me DONT leave it up to fate please, take a stand for yourself, thats what I/we want. If you do not try, then you will always question yourself Edited June 25, 2011 by wilsonx
0hpenelope Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 You know... Three years is a reasonable time to reach out, I think. I hope he'll be receptive to you, I really do. Have you tried looking up ways of approaching the situation that may work for you? Sometimes you have to look for a little bit. I understand how difficult it is to gauge a person's receptiveness to such contact, but if he has a good heart and he's a good person, he will have let go of whatever hurts he has. And perhaps, he'd like to hash whatever residuals there are, so that the two of you can enter a new relationship with each other.
Author candid_xo Posted June 25, 2011 Author Posted June 25, 2011 I've recently found his sister on a social networking site, but havent added her. I also know he's a personal trainer, but I have no idea where to even start. I've actually started to go into his part of the city more, just to even see if I see his car
iceweasel6 Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 (edited) I've recently found his sister on a social networking site, but havent added her. I also know he's a personal trainer, but I have no idea where to even start. I've actually started to go into his part of the city more, just to even see if I see his car How about you try a little transparency and honesty? Since you all haven't talked in a while, I would email him and tell him what's going on. If you speak from the heart, and fill it with truth, your words won't scare him away. If it does, he's no prepared to be with you. Its a litmus test of his maturity to handle the truth of your feelings and thoughts. Anything less than starting off with the truth will doom you to failure. All the best. Almost forgot, I would cut down on the stalker like tendencies. Edited June 25, 2011 by iceweasel6
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