Cee Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 (edited) This is more of a rant than an advice situation. But I am so annoyed. I am having a colonoscopy today and haven't eating solid food in 36 hours and counting. I basically leaked out my entire intestine all night long (TMI, but true). My sweet BF is driving me to and picking me up from the procedure. Afterward, I will have my first meal in over 40 hours. But after picking me up from the clinic, my boyfriend must first attend to his best friend's friend who got out of surgery a couple days ago. My BF is supposed to move stuff so that the friend who had surgery can host a party. My BF asked if I could come along to the party, but his BFF said no, that it is only for the inner circle. WTF!!! I am having a freaking colonoscopy and my BF is supposed to help his BFF help his other friend. My BF is a sweetheart and I know why he's doing this, but I think his BFF acts very entitled with my BF. Btw, the BFF isn't a straight woman. He's an older gay man. The relationship is strictly platonic, but sort of controlling if you ask me. Grrrr. Bottom line is I said that's fine. He's only going to be gone for an hour or two and the guy had hernia surgery which is worse than a colonoscopy. But this BFF is quite a puzzle to me. And I still have not met him yet. Edited June 24, 2011 by Cee
vsmini Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 An inner circle party? Please - guy needs to get over himself But - it's his choice if that's the kind of party he wants....annoying but that's how it is. I guess there's not much you have to worry about - you aren't being neglected on account of what's happening. Just make sure this BFF doesn't start affecting your relationship with this guy in any direct way.
Lady vs Panda Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 My question is, why is he having a party when he just had surgery? If you can't set up for your own fancy little inner circle party because you are recovering post-op, it's time to reschedule your fancy little inner circle party. Or at least hire your help, instead of expecting your inner circle to do all the work for you.
Enchanted Girl Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 I know how you feel(ish.) My ex and I's anniversary was on his best friends birthday. I dated him for five years and we never once did stuff together on our actual anniversary. (And he never made it up to me on another day either.) This is why I often choose my friends over a boyfriend because they always do the same to me. My current boyfriend does not do this and I appreciate that, which is why I'm willing to choose him over friends when he needs me. =)
NoReallyThatHappened Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 I would ask how long it would be before I was part of the "inner circle." This whole thing just sounds weird. I can see how you would be frustrated with the situation. I guess all you can do is let your BF know that you are frustrated with the situation. It's always better to communicate about these things rather than keep it in and let resentment build over time. You might also inquire as to when you will meet this BFF. He sounds quite interesting!!
Author Cee Posted June 24, 2011 Author Posted June 24, 2011 Turned out the BFF told my boyfriend to stay with me. Which he did and now we are relaxing at his place. But it still baffles me how the BFF calls the shots. My boyfriend seems to have a hard time being assertive. I think he tries too hard to please BFF and me. I talked to him about it. It's not a problem now, but could cause trouble in the future.
Author Cee Posted June 25, 2011 Author Posted June 25, 2011 this whole thing isnt a big deal. chill. if this is the bigest issue you have your doing better than most Precisely. I needed a distraction from my cancer screening and I focused on the BFF thing. The doctor found polyps, but they were small and the biopsy hopefully will be ok. Sometimes I fuss over the little stuff, but I have good sense to know what's important. My health comes first. And I'm glad my BF was there to support me.
Jynxx Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 My BF asked if I could come along to the party, but his BFF said no, that it is only for the inner circle. Have you considered your boyfriend doesn't want you there and made that up to not have to upset you with telling you he doesn't want you there? me: "you going out on friday? You can bring your girl if you want" buddy: "I'm in, anyone else bringing their girl?" me: "probably not" Now what do you think the guy is gonna tell his girlfriend? "you're invited, but I don't like you going, I'd prefer to go alone" or "it's kind of an inner circle thing, yknow"
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